# Is Lena Dunham's complaint of not getting black male sexual attention racist & sexist stereotyping? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 4, 2016, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064 "2016-09-04T22:27:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/1 "2016-09-04T22:27:42Z")
From this story - [Social Media Calls ‘White Privilege’ On Lena Dunham For Her Odell Beckham Jr. Comments](http://www.papermag.com/lena-dunham-odell-beckham-jr-white-privilege-1996745843.html) Lena Dunham author and creator and actor in the hit show “Girl’s” s tweeted this the other day. > [@](#): > > Lena Dunham interviewed Amy Schumer for her weekly Lenny Letter, and in the midst of operatic declarations of adoration and mutual respect (“I would fellate the whole cast of Duck Dynasty if I knew it meant keeping Amy safe, and I know she’d do the same for me”), the topic of the Met Gala came up. Seemingly apropos of nothing, Lena ripped her Met Gala tablemate, NY Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr., for ignoring her at the event because she was wearing a tuxedo… > > I was sitting next to Odell Beckham Jr., and it was so amazing because it was like he looked at me and he determined I was not the shape of a woman by his standards. He was like, “That’s a marshmallow. That’s a child. That’s a dog.” It wasn’t mean — he just seemed confused. > > The vibe was very much like, “Do I want to fuck it? Is it wearing a … yep, it’s wearing a tuxedo. I’m going to go back to my cell phone.” It was like we were forced to be together, and he literally was scrolling Instagram rather than have to look at a woman in a bow tie. I was like, “This should be called the Metropolitan Museum of Getting Rejected by Athletes.” Honestly it does seem to be a fairly high level of entitlement to be seated next to a noted black athlete at a gala and be very pissed he’s not giving you a level of sexual appraisal and attention you deem to be satisfactory? It’s not like she was his date they were just seated next to each other. She’s treating him like some sub-human animal that should be responding to her marvelous proximity with eager desire. One twitter comment had this pithy synopsis. > [@](#): > > Tariq Nasheed > ✔ ‎@tariqnasheed > White feminist=“Black men who try to talk 2 me are street harassment” White feminists=“Black men who ignore me are fat shaming” #LenaDunham > 8:10 PM - 2 Sep 2016 After she was raked over the coals she did come up with this > [@](#): > > I owe Odell Beckham Jr an apology. Despite my moments of bravado, I struggle at industry events (and in life) with the sense that I don’t rep a certain standard of beauty and so when I show up to the Met Ball surrounded by models and swan-like actresses it’s hard not to feel like a sack of flaming garbage. This felt especially intense with a handsome athlete as my dinner companion and a bunch of women I was sure he’d rather be seated with. But I went ahead and projected these insecurities and made totally narcissistic assumptions about what he was thinking, then presented those assumptions as facts. I feel terrible about it. Because after listening to lots of valid criticism, I see how unfair it is to ascribe misogynistic thoughts to someone I don’t know AT ALL. Like, we have never met, I have no idea the kind of day he’s having or what his truth is. But most importantly, I would never intentionally contribute to a long and often violent history of the over-sexualization of black male bodies- as well as false accusations by white women towards black men. I’m so sorry, particularly to OBJ, who has every right to be on his cell phone. The fact is I don’t know about his state of mind (I don’t know a lot of things) and I shouldn’t have acted like I did. Much love and thanks, Lena ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/2 "2016-09-04T22:54:40Z")
Yes, it was racist and sexist. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/3 "2016-09-04T22:57:21Z")
[The Root’s Take.](http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2016/09/10-reasons-odell-beckham-jr-didnt-speak-to-lena-dunham/) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/4 "2016-09-04T23:00:47Z")
Was there anything in Dunham’s comments to indicate she was saying Beckham’s behavior was typical of men or black men in particular? ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/5 "2016-09-04T23:01:51Z")
I agree with Lena. She was being a brat. She had no right to publicly attribute these thoughts and feelings to someone she didn’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/6 "2016-09-04T23:03:42Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Was there anything in Dunham’s comments to indicate she was saying Beckham’s behavior was typical of men or black men in particular? Yeah, I’m not getting _‘she wouldn’t have said those things if he’d been white’_ from what’s been published. Surely that would have to be present (or at least implied) in her words for this to qualify as Racism. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/7 "2016-09-04T23:16:01Z")
> [@Sherrerd](#): > > Yeah, I’m not getting _‘she wouldn’t have said those things if he’d been white’_ from what’s been published. Surely that would have to be present (or at least implied) in her words for this to qualify as Racism. I think the vibe here (and I think it’s accurate) is that she would not have done that to a white male athlete. The notion of him as a rutting sexual animal in her assumption of “He’s GOT to be thinking about fucking me” was loud and clear. She was treating him as some sort of Mandingo stereotype that’s got to be after an available white woman. [From The Root](http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2016/09/10-reasons-odell-beckham-jr-didnt-speak-to-lena-dunham/) > [@](#): > > The most telling part of Dunham’s passage is that she actually believed that Beckham looked her over. The privilege in her passage is breathtaking. Not because he wouldn’t have but that he absolutely must have. This feeds into a plethora of black male sexual stereotypes and white women as desired objects—even when they are ignored. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/8 "2016-09-04T23:23:18Z")
As she has said in her subsequent unreserved apology, in the presence of a handsome man she let her personal insecurities about her physical appearance lead her into silly self-absorbed over-thinking that his distracted messing with his cellphone and apparently ignoring her was “all about her”. But I’m not seeing evidence of racism here. Such racial stereotypes do exist, of course; he’s black; she’s white. But it takes more than these circumstantial elements to assign racist motivation to her without evidence, when her foolish reaction is sufficiently explained by him simply being a handsome sexy man. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/9 "2016-09-04T23:30:03Z")
_Sigh_ I’ll probably get flack for this, but _ **what was she thinking, when she decided to wear that tuxedo?** _ ---
**Author:** ![DonLogan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@DonLogan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DonLogan)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/10 "2016-09-04T23:32:39Z")
We will only truly know the answer when Gronk sits at her table at next year’s Met Gala. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/11 "2016-09-04T23:32:41Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > _Sigh_ > > I’ll probably get flack for this, but _ **what was she thinking, when she decided to wear that tuxedo?** _ So by dressing that way she was just _asking_ not to be ogled? Victim blamer! ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/12 "2016-09-04T23:33:41Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > _Sigh_ > > I’ll probably get flack for this, but _ **what was she thinking, when she decided to wear that tuxedo?** _ [I think that’s pretty obvious](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG3PnQ3tgzY) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/13 "2016-09-04T23:34:45Z")
Is it racist? Yes. But Dunham’s never struck me as the sharpest knife in the drawer, so perhaps I’ll put it down to stupidity, rather than malice. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/14 "2016-09-04T23:37:13Z")
> [@DonLogan](#): > > We will only truly know the answer when Gronk sits at her table at next year’s Met Gala. But for a proper control, she can’t wear a kitten outfit. [![](https://www.catsvscancer.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/orange-kitten-kisses-rob-gronkowski.jpg) ](https://www.catsvscancer.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/orange-kitten-kisses-rob-gronkowski.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/15 "2016-09-04T23:41:47Z")
> [@astro](#): > > I think the vibe here (and I think it’s accurate) is that she would not have done that to a white male athlete. I don’t know about that. She seems to feel entitled to fellate the whole cast of _Duck Dynasty_, too. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/16 "2016-09-04T23:52:48Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I don’t know about that. She seems to feel entitled to fellate the whole cast of _Duck Dynasty_, too. She’d better have a jumbo pack of floss. I’m betting none of the DD crew are manscaped. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2016, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/17 "2016-09-04T23:52:56Z")
Yes. I mean, isn’t this a major plot point of _To Kill A Mockingbird_? ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/18 "2016-09-05T00:15:42Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Is it racist? Yes. But Dunham’s never struck me as the sharpest knife in the drawer, so perhaps I’ll put it down to stupidity, rather than malice. She strikes me as pretty self important, I wouln’t have paid any attention to her either. And this whole episode seems more like “look at meeeee!” rather than racism. ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/19 "2016-09-05T00:24:36Z")
I see no racial component to any of this but then I thought she was talking about the soccer player. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064/20 "2016-09-05T00:58:21Z")
Racist and sexist? No. Funny? Yes. She got upset that a guy who is objectively out of her league wasn’t interested in her. I find that funny, not offensive. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-lena-dunhams-complaint-of-not-getting-black-male-sexual-attention-racist-sexist-stereotyping/765064.md?page=2)