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This just came to me. When my mom was furious at us, sometimes she’d say “you cretinous ass !!!”
I thought she meant I was a donkey from Crete. 
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I work for an organization that has both residential and vocational programs for MR/DD clients.
Being unfamiliar with the company, at first, I walked into the lodge at the summer camp and I SWEAR TO GOD I couldn’t tell some of the clients from some of the staff. One person I thought was a staff for MONTHS before someone finally said… no she’s a resident at such-and-such house. And I had made small talk with her several times before that.
Also, it has been my experience here that all of our clients are good at something. I am, now, a true believer in EVERYONE has a talent… they just have to find out what they are good at.
I also believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I met a woman who had several degrees to her name… but she was also FAKE from head to toe. Really, her hair was bleached, she wore coloured contacts, fake nails, boob job, “control” underwear, pedicure every week, and she owned her own tanning bed to boot. To most she seems like she could pose for Playboy… I think she’s the most ugly person I’ve ever met.
Well, this is based on the US definition and usage and so may not travel across the water.
What I meant was “autism” as defined prior to 1991-1992. Asperger’s, PDD and PDD all arose after this time.
Prior to 1992, “autistic” meant stereotypies, marked impairment in socal communication, mental retardation, little or no functional verbal clartification, spinning, hand flapping, etc. (I paraphrase).
Some of us that have been around for awhile are uncomfortable as labeling Aspergers etc as “autistic” because it seems to dilute the label of “autistic”. But that’s just my opinion.
Absolutely, yes. Mr. Jane and I both work with mentally retarded adults, and I tell you that I personally know many, many “average” or “normal” looking people who are MR. The ones who are most “normal” looking have mild to moderate rather than severe MR, to be sure, but there are several in the group home where I work who could fool anyone just on looks. I’ve done a lot of thinking about this myself, and I think that in many people with MR, especially ones who don’t have Down’s or some other obvious symptoms, it’s grooming, clothing, etc. that make it obvious. I don’t mean being clean or combing one’s hair; I mean choice of clothing (young adults in shoes with Velcro, elastic waistbands), hairstyle and makeup (huge bows, bright pink lipstick), etc. In fact, when I first started this job, I had to ask about several of the folks at the sheltered workshop my clients attend because I was unsure if they were staff or consumers before talking to them.
So yes, not only is it posible for the MR to look “normal”, lots of them do.
I don’t really have anything new to add, just wanted to say that in working for various local non-profit groups I too have encountered many mentally retarded people who were physically perfectly normal. I don’t remember any real knockouts, but I don’t remember any real knockouts among the regular office staff either. Everyone was pretty average looking (no surprise there!) regardless of their mental abilities.