# is my boyfriend gay? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 5, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192 "2003-08-05T19:58:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![sleepytimebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@sleepytimebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleepytimebaby)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/21 "2003-08-06T01:02:51Z")
Has she thought about asking him? ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/22 "2003-08-06T01:09:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sleepytimebaby \* > \*\*And the thing about you and your mother…you should have dropped him like a hot potato at that point! He has issues! \*\* That was my ex, not the OP’s, **sleepytime**. Thankfully, I was already broken up with him before I heard about it. _shudder_ If we’d still been seeing each other then…believe me, he’d have been dropped even faster than a hot potato. Definite issues, that one. Subscriptions, even. And about asking him…even if he is gay, I doubt that asking would help. He’s obviously not ready to admit it if he is, and it’s unlikely that asking would making him crack. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/23 "2003-08-06T01:12:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Has she thought about asking him? I’m not sure why she’s asking _us_. The guy does seem to have any number of neurotic quirks. On the other hand, none of his described actions match the actions I would associate with guys I have known who were gay and, beyond that, now that he is _gone_, I haven’t figured out why anyone cares. Just some odd shmoe who is no longer bothering **cgholycow** and whose sexual orientation really won’t affect her or her friends. ::: shrug ::: ---
**Author:** ![sleepytimebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@sleepytimebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleepytimebaby)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/24 "2003-08-06T01:15:11Z")
Sorry about that…I thought OP standed for Original Poster…i am new. And you are right, he does seem to have a couple of issues…he never went down to “visit the kitty” did he? So many problems… ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/25 "2003-08-06T01:21:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pizzabrat \* > \*\*Does he have a large penis? That might explain why he was so willing to show it off. A way of bragging. \*\* Ah, Hildebrand. A guy aboard my ship when I was in the Navy. He’s about 5’6", and really had a big cock. He would flash it around, slap it against our bunks, and offer it up for admiration to antbody. He wasn’t gay, for sure, and was in most other ways totally normal. Actually, he was pretty cool. Are you out there Hilly, you wierd fuck? I’m the sparky who came after your pecker with a Megger. 😃 Sorry, back to the shew. ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/26 "2003-08-06T01:23:00Z")
No, you were right, OP does stand for original poster, **sleepytimebaby** ; you just confused her post with mine, that’s all. **Cgholycow** is the OP, I’m not. I replied saying that my ex was pretty similar, and I think you took my reply for her elaborating on the first post, maybe? ---
**Author:** ![sleepytimebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@sleepytimebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleepytimebaby)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/27 "2003-08-06T01:39:30Z")
mange that guy was a real sick pup! Men can be amused so easily! By big penises, breasts, etc. (Ok no more man bashing…I mean it all in jest; I love men, they are great!) ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/28 "2003-08-06T01:48:26Z")
OH MY GOD… was his name Dale? ---
**Author:** ![October](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@October](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/October)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/29 "2003-08-06T01:58:26Z")
**Orange,** I think you are right that the OP is still trying to come to terms with the break up. There were all sorts of issues there (I know both the OP and her ex). \*\* > [@](#): > > I’m not sure why she’s asking us. \*\* The thing is, she’s trying to understand her relationship. She didn’t know that the pitifully small amount of sex was not normal. When she asked her boyfriend about it, he assured her that they had a great sex life. The thing that shocked me when I found out about how little sex they were having, is that the ex boyfriend always acted like some uber-heterosexual male around groups of people. Always telling us what turned him on (he had a thing for lesbian porn), making overtly sexual comments about cgholycow and her friends, and dropping innuendos about their raging sex life. No one had _any idea_ that they weren’t constantly all over each other. ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/30 "2003-08-06T01:59:59Z")
> [@](#): > > _mangeorge_ > Ah, Hildebrand. A guy aboard my ship when I was in the Navy. He’s about 5’6", and really had a big cock. He would flash it around, slap it against our bunks, and offer it up for admiration to antbody. He wasn’t gay, for sure, and was in most other ways totally normal. Actually, he was pretty cool. See. I pulled that theory from out of nowhere and I turned out to be right! Ha! I’m a genius. ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/31 "2003-08-06T02:34:37Z")
Would it be SO wrong to suggest that **CGHolyCow** could email me pictures of said derriere, so I could give her feedback as to whether or not I thought a very heterosexual male (such as myself) could find it obsess-worthy? Even if I were polite enough to offer the same service to **Orange Skinner**?? – it would, huh? – slinks back into polite lurking, letting the grownup adults talk ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/32 "2003-08-06T05:18:21Z")
Well if ya ever find him with a dick in his ass… then you’ll know. But seriously he just sounds really immature to me as well. That whole thing about the penis flashing just make him sound like a dumbfuck too. ---
**Author:** ![verbigerate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a5b964/32.png) [@verbigerate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbigerate)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/33 "2003-08-06T05:30:52Z")
I’ve never met anyone who is 21 and THAT immature – it sounds like he might have some issues… ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/34 "2003-08-06T05:31:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by White Lightning \* > \*\*None of those factors indicate homosexuality to me more than immaturity and selfishness. But really, who cares? Either way it’s behind you, right? \*\* Ahahahaha! Good one! ---
**Author:** ![verbigerate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a5b964/32.png) [@verbigerate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbigerate)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/35 "2003-08-06T05:36:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by White Lightning \* > \*\*Either way it’s behind you, right? \*\* Only if he is gay, then “it” would be… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/36 "2003-08-06T05:49:57Z")
I don’t know if he is gay… but thank goodness you’re no longer together even if he’s not… many weird issues there. F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/37 "2003-08-06T15:10:37Z")
Well, for what it’s worth (which is zilch), you’ve just accurately and completely described the relationship between one of my college friends and her then-boyfriend. To a T. Only in her case, they dated for three years. He came out one year after the breakup, and seemed much happier and well-adjusted from then on out. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/38 "2003-08-06T16:07:13Z")
Whether heterosexual, homosexual, or asexual, when it came to his relationship with you it sounds like he was, as my wife would say, “lacking in nervous energy.” ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/39 "2003-08-06T16:09:38Z")
If he were gay, I don’t think he would want to be flashing his short comings to other guys 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192/40 "2003-08-06T18:16:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by \*\*AndrewT \*\*\* > Good one! Thank you. I tell ya, sometimes I think I’m alone out here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-boyfriend-gay/193192.md?page=3)