# Is my friend a perv? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 2, 2004, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151 "2004-10-02T04:22:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/1 "2004-10-02T04:22:06Z")
She’s 21 and is very attractive, she’s like five-foot-nothing and petite, so she looks younger than 21. Oh BTW she’s bi-sexual and likes 'em _young_.I overheard a conversation between her and a 15 yr old girl. Apparently she gave the 15yr old a few hickeys.Oh and when she’s in my car she’ll whistle at young females. If it were a male friend doing this, he’d be labeled a “Chester” and would’nt be _my_ friend for long. IYHO is she pervy? I think she is. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/2 "2004-10-02T04:24:33Z")
Well, somewhat. She’s also at risk of getting herself in rather big trouble depending on what state you guys live in. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/3 "2004-10-02T04:27:05Z")
A perv? I dont think so. 21 and full of youthful exuberance? Probably a better diagnosis. Especially since you say she can pass as much younger than her years. Maybe since she does, she figures everyone else does. Whistles are harmless. Did she know the 15 year old was just 15? What’s the age of consent in the crapper? ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/4 "2004-10-02T04:54:00Z")
Creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/5 "2004-10-02T06:10:04Z")
More importantly, what’s your friends number? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/6 "2004-10-02T06:17:03Z")
If she was a guy, it’d be skeezy. Since she’s a woman, it’s… skeezy. I don’t see what gender has to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/7 "2004-10-02T06:22:12Z")
15 is 15 and your friend should damn well know better. Not only is it creepy, it’s likely illegal no matter what the gender. I have no objection to the actions of two consenting _adults_. A 15 year old simply doesn’t have the sense to make those decisions yet. Tell her to knock it off. Now. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/8 "2004-10-02T06:40:12Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > 15 is 15 and your friend should damn well know better. > > Not only is it creepy, it’s likely illegal no matter what the gender. > > I have no objection to the actions of two consenting _adults_. A 15 year old simply doesn’t have the sense to make those decisions yet. > > Tell her to knock it off. Now. Agree 100%! If that were a guy to a girl, prison. If that were a guy to another guy, it would be on the six o’clock news, photos, prison and another example of how peverted we queers are. Odd that woman to woman pedophilia is ignored, or even that someone would have to ask if it were a perv. ---
**Author:** ![Duderdude2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@Duderdude2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duderdude2)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/9 "2004-10-02T08:13:40Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > A 15 year old simply doesn’t have the sense to make those decisions yet. Boy do I ever disagree, but that aside, she should not be doing this for the simply matter that it’s illegal. ---
**Author:** ![EvilGhandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@EvilGhandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilGhandi)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/10 "2004-10-02T10:42:15Z")
Duderdude2, “Boy do I ever disagree” Please tell me you are under 21. Otherwise you are exactly the type of person being refered to here. Creepy. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/11 "2004-10-02T11:00:22Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > Odd that woman to woman pedophilia is ignored, or even that someone would have to ask if it were a perv. That’s not pedophilia. It’s barely even ephebophilia. It’s just breaking a law. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/12 "2004-10-02T11:00:57Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > If that were a guy to a girl, prison. > If that were a guy to another guy, it would be on the six o’clock news, photos, prison and another example of how peverted we queers are. Kinda drastic punishments for hickies, dontcha think? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/13 "2004-10-02T15:29:54Z")
Could someone refer me to the specific law that criminalizes the hickey-giving? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/14 "2004-10-02T15:36:55Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Could someone refer me to the specific law that criminalizes the hickey-giving? I don’t hickeys are the problem as much as 21 on 15 year old action. Especially if said 21 year old looks like she could be 15. Experimenting sexuality with someone your own age is a bit different than finding you’ve been taken advantage of by someone 6 years older than you and old enough to know better. Yes your friend should cut it out. If she needs any persuading, ask her if she’d like to explain to the 15 year old’s parents how harmless it is. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/15 "2004-10-02T16:14:21Z")
Like others have said, gender’s got nothing to do with it–if your friend is giving 15-year-olds hickeys, your friend’s a perv, no two ways about it. Bleh. Creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Duderdude2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@Duderdude2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duderdude2)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/16 "2004-10-02T16:45:22Z")
> [@EvilGhandi](#): > > Duderdude2, > > “Boy do I ever disagree” > > Please tell me you are under 21. Otherwise you are exactly the type of person being refered to here. Creepy. Yes I am under 21 and no I wouldn’t be that “type of person” regardless. What I opposed was that statement that a “A 15 year old simply doesn’t have the sense to make those decisions yet”, which I believe to be a blatent mistruth. That does not in any way represent my condoning of such behavior by an older individual as my post had also stated. Frankly, I’m bothered that you somehow came to the conclusion that you did, despite my post being quite clear on the matter. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/17 "2004-10-02T17:50:56Z")
21 and 15? I vote for creepy. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/18 "2004-10-02T18:14:33Z")
Right. She’s a creepy pervert. Until the hickey recipient has a birthday. Then she’s perfectly normal. Depending on which state she lives in, possibly she’s a pevert for at least another year :rolleyes: . Lusting after young, sexually mature (_physically_ sexually mature) people is not a perversion…it’s about the most normal sexual response there is. Doing something about it is another matter. It still doesn’t make you a pervert, it might make you an irresponsible idiot. When I was 15 I went out…briefly…with a 20 year old guy. It was brief because we both figured out I wasn’t ready for a relationship on a 20 year old level. But he was not a creep or a perv for going out with me to begin with. I would say if she just happens to really like this 15 year old…she’s not a perv. Although she should proceed cautiously, for both moral and legal reasons. On the other hand if she continuously goes after VERY young girls when there are so many nubile 18 year olds around, she might be getting off on the power and manipulation possible when there’s that big and age difference.Now, in THAT case…perv. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/19 "2004-10-02T18:19:57Z")
Another vote for creepy. Not so much that because-oh my god, 15 year olds are CHILDREN. More like, there’s a huge difference in maturity levels when it comes to fifteen and twenty-one. I was almost an entirely different person at 15 than what I was then at 21. Tell her to get someone her own age. And stop whistling at girls on the sidewalk-I HATE people (men or women) who do that! ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151/20 "2004-10-02T19:19:06Z")
> [@Duderdude2](#): > > Boy do I ever disagree, but that aside, she should not be doing this for the simply matter that it’s illegal. When I was 15, I was having sex with a 19-year-old-boy. Did I “know” what I was doing? Yes. Did I understand that there could be consequences? Yes. Did I have the good sense to care? No. I was lucky. We dated for 7 years and was happily married for another 7 years. Nothing traumatic hapened to me but I would never recommend it. No matter what you may think, a 15-year-old is going to be flattered that an older person is making advances at them. A hormone-raging 15-year-old is not going to make the best possible decisions in that situation. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-friend-a-perv/267151.md?page=2)