# Is my widower status scaring off dates?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-widower-status-scaring-off-dates/681635>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [February 18, 2014, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-widower-status-scaring-off-dates/681635 "2014-02-18T18:08:07Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 4

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\
**Post date:** [February 23, 2014, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-widower-status-scaring-off-dates/681635/61 "2014-02-23T02:15:21Z")

</div>

I only read part of the thread, then had to jump in with my 2 cents.

Go ahead and put “widower” in your profile. If it scares someone off, she’s done you a favor by self-qualifying.

I’m a widow. I do not have my late H up on a pedestal. I didn’t when he was alive, and I don’t now. Any man who is freaked out by the term “widow,” who starts running hypothetical scenarios in his head, or who thinks he knows what this \*widow \*is all about before he exchanges one message with me is not a man I need or want to meet.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\
**Post date:** [February 23, 2014, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-widower-status-scaring-off-dates/681635/62 "2014-02-23T03:04:27Z")

</div>

I was real sorry to hear Deputy Fife died, **Thelma**.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\
**Post date:** [February 23, 2014, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-widower-status-scaring-off-dates/681635/63 "2014-02-23T03:09:53Z")

</div>

> [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](#):
>
> Surely the person’s mere presence on a dating site means “available”? With the exception of sites created for that sort of thing, I suppose. I wonder why scammers would identify as widowers.

Based on the ONE “widower” I chatted with (I was bored) I think they are trying to appeal to the woman who perhaps in midlife regrets not having a family. Here’s one ready-made to step into. Of course the scammer is looking for $$, but they are baiting the hook with something that would appeal to some women.

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-my-widower-status-scaring-off-dates/681635.md?page=3)