# Is nagging just the female version of mansplaining? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 12, 2021, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352 "2021-07-12T21:58:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2021, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/21 "2021-07-13T11:55:23Z")
Right!? Husband: “I said I’d do it, why ya gotta bug me?” Wife: “It’s been 5 fucking years!” Husband: “Quit nagging me.” True Story. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2021, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/22 "2021-07-13T12:05:44Z")
I was walking down the street, unmasked, with my kids, the other day, when I saw a masked woman coming toward us. I put on my own mask out of courtesy, but that didn’t stop her from saying, “You need to be careful! The delta variant is very dangerous!” I wish I’d responded, “Stop mansplaining the pandemic,” but I didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2021, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/23 "2021-07-13T12:09:42Z")
I thought at first you were going to say, “The woman _ **pulled down** _ her mask to tell us that the Delta variant was dangerous.” ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2021, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/24 "2021-07-13T14:20:32Z")
Yep, this is the correct answer. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ythrdCsOFJU/hqdefault.jpg) ](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ythrdCsOFJU/hqdefault.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2021, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/25 "2021-07-14T02:18:47Z")
Female here, who’s been known to mansplain. I have a legit excuse though. I create training material in real life, including step-by-step “how to” manuals. I spend much of the day saying/writing. “Go to the Name field and enter the patient’s full name. Now, go down to the Allergies section and select the relevant allergies by clicking the box to the right of the allergy.” What I do every day is explain things. And, to make sure I do it correctly, I explain it that way back to the person who gave me the instruction. Total mansplain there. But, it unfortunately carries over into real, everyday conversations and sometimes I get yelled at for mansplaining. Professional hazard. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2021, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/26 "2021-07-14T04:58:27Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > I’m just going to suggest that men discussing nagging as something women do to them should be rather careful about what they say. Since it is one of the words men use about women to denigrate and dismiss them. And “mansplaining” denigrates men. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2021, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/27 "2021-07-14T05:49:31Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > When a man says he’ll do something, he’ll do it. You don’t need to nag him about it every six months. Mom! I didn’t know you posted here. And I thought you quit skiing 40 years ago after your broken rib on Maggie’s… ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2021, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/28 "2021-07-14T08:15:03Z")
I fully admit I’m a nagger. I’m also a reminder, a clean up after you-er and a get up and do it myself-er. I think I have paid my dues as the woman of the house. I can say anything I want at this point. Never you mind, everyone around here is a tune-r out of me. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2021, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/29 "2021-07-14T11:57:37Z")
We had a whole thread devoted to why men explaining things to women that the women already know and in fact are experts in wasn’t REALLY mansplaining because women do that too and men do it to men and it’s nothing that any man on this board has ever observed much less copped to, and any other reason that allows men to not admit to treating women with contempt. Now we have a thread about how nagging in women is just another reason why men don’t have to admit to mainsplaining. Joy. Here’s my opinion about nagging. Nagging is similar to whining in children. It’s irritating because that is kind of the point – irritation does work to some degree, although there is always blowback. It is the weapon of those who cannot get what they want any other way. It is behavior caused by someone feeling powerless to change someone else’s behavior. Sometimes this is legitimate and the behavior perfectly infuriating, such as men (or children) who refuse to take responsibility for the completion of their portion of household tasks. There are other less excusable reasons. Women who passionately believe that their child should go to medical school so that they can say they are the mother of a doctor, fathers who cannot give up the idea of living vicariously through their son’s sports achievements. This kind of nagging is still about changing someone else’s choices. Women have a culturally encouraged syndrome of being the cheerleader, organizer, and enabler of a man who does all the recognized and rewarded work. This encourages nagging, because that is in fact your job – making sure the man is doing all the things necessary for that recognition and reward from which you also benefit. Oh, and by the way, the only way nagging is similar to mansplaining is that they both arise mainly from a misogynist patriarchal culture. In a culture where the sexes were equal, there would still be asshole oblivious know-it-alls and people who have the need to manage other people’s lives through constant poking, but I think those behaviors would be more evenly spread. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2021, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/30 "2021-07-14T12:54:24Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > And “mansplaining” denigrates men. I didn’t know men were facing thousands of years of oppression by women! Ignorance fought I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Ranch\_Dip](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranch_dip/32/5238_2.png) [@Ranch\_Dip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranch_Dip)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2021, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/31 "2021-07-14T22:56:25Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I was walking down the street, unmasked, with my kids, the other day, when I saw a masked woman coming toward us. I put on my own mask out of courtesy, but that didn’t stop her from saying, “You need to be careful! The delta variant is very dangerous!” You were walking unmasked with children. If they are under 12 they are not protected. If they are over 12 and unvaccinated, they are not protected. During a global panedemic that is far from being over. The Delta variant is very dangerous. And it’s showing itself to be especially dangerous to younger folks. She should clearly be horsewhipped for caring about your sprogs. The nerve. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2021, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/32 "2021-07-14T23:06:56Z")
Very well described, Ulfreida. Applause! Even better, it’s not only well-said, it’s a very accurate assessment of our patriarchal culture. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2021, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/33 "2021-07-14T23:12:07Z")
I actually wish my gf would “nag” more. She is so hard set to _not_ be the nagging type, that when she mentions something and my alcohol addled brain forgets, I could really use a reminder. But _that_ would be nagging, so instead I’m the bad guy. Unknowingly. Ironic?! ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2021, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/34 "2021-07-14T23:17:54Z")
> [@carnut](#): > > Very well described, Ulfreida. Applause! > > Even better, it’s not only well-said, it’s a very accurate assessment of our patriarchal culture. Why thank you. ---
**Author:** ![asahi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asahi/32/8693_2.png) [@asahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asahi)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2021, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/35 "2021-07-14T23:22:48Z")
It’s called noticing and expressing concern. It’s what women do. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2021, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/36 "2021-07-14T23:35:08Z")
There is zero evidence that the Delta variant spreads by walking past a vaccinated person on a public sidewalk. And my children were masked. But thanks for mansplaining the pandemic to me. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2021, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/37 "2021-07-26T00:29:21Z")
“Nagging” doesn’t mean “repeatedly explaining something in an annoying way,” (and that sure could be annoying), it means repeatedly asking someone to do something. So the example in the OP doesn’t fit the definition of nagging to begin with. I suppose you could call this post nagging if you’ve decided that it does mean explaining something, of course… ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/38 "2021-07-27T23:43:17Z")
If you want me to do something, fine. I’ll do it. If you further want to tell me how to do it, do it yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/39 "2021-07-27T23:50:24Z")
> [@E-DUB](#): > > f you want me to do something, fine. I’ll do it. If you further want to tell me how to do it, do it yourself. That is how a zillion men get out of pulling their own weight in a household. “I’ll do it after you tell me to (not when it’s needed), and proceed to do it incompetently or incompletely and then when you point that out, I’ll call it nagging and tell you I won’t do it at all.” ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/40 "2021-07-27T23:54:45Z")
It’s more like I’ve said to a friend of mine that I’ll not put my intellect into service of his folly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352.md?page=3)