# Is nagging just the female version of mansplaining? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 12, 2021, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352 "2021-07-12T21:58:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/41 "2021-07-28T00:14:39Z")
The only thing mansplaining (a neologism I’ve never liked, preferring “sexist condescension”) and nagging have in common is that they both can be prefaced with “if you were a man…” Gilles de Rais telling Joan d’Arc “If you were a man, you’d understand how to lead an army…” while she was doing exactly that just fine. Lady Macbeth goading “If you were a (real) man, you’d seize the throne,” which of course only an accident of time and birth prevented her from doing so herself with ease. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/42 "2021-07-28T01:01:32Z")
> [@E-DUB](#): > > It’s more like I’ve said to a friend of mine that I’ll not put my intellect into service of his folly. Do you live in a 19th century novel? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/43 "2021-07-28T01:25:36Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > “I’ll do it after you tell me to (not when it’s needed), and proceed to do it incompetently or incompletely and then when you point that out, I’ll call it nagging and tell you I won’t do it at all.” Yeah, nobody likes being micromanaged, but there’s a point where resistance to micromanagement, coupled with consistently shoddy work, becomes essentially a declaration that shoddy work is the best you’re willing to do. I’m all for couples making serious efforts to negotiate and compromise to develop shared standards of household management that both of them can live with. And sure, that has to be a two-way street. But going on permanent strike at any sign of criticism or dissatisfaction with your work is not a good-faith negotiating position. It’s deploying strategic incompetence in order to slack off on one’s responsibilities. (To be fair, that’s not exclusively or intrinsically a male behavior. Innumerable women back in the girls-can’t-do-math days similarly exploited their unwillingness to learn or do basic computation properly, to avoid sharing the tasks of managing family finances and budgets. I’m thinking specifically of Clarence Day’s Life with Mother, but there are lots of other examples.) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/44 "2021-07-28T12:22:18Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Yeah, nobody likes being micromanaged, but there’s a point where resistance to micromanagement, coupled with consistently shoddy work, becomes essentially a declaration that shoddy work is the best you’re willing to do. You’re assuming the micromanagement is over shoddy work, when it is often over meaningless details. If the job is getting done, and done well, does it really matter if my posture is correct? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352/45 "2021-07-28T14:36:45Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > You’re assuming the micromanagement is over shoddy work, when it is often over meaningless details. Well, like I said, that’s where the negotiation and compromise for shared standards of household management comes in. And yes, like I said, that has to be a two-way street: the person with the “higher” standards can’t expect to automatically get everything their own way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-nagging-just-the-female-version-of-mansplaining/946352.md?page=2)