# Is not pre-announcing the babby's name a thing (now)? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 9, 2016, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086 "2016-10-09T19:32:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/41 "2016-10-10T20:04:07Z")
We didn’t tell anyone the names because of Jewish superstition. So we had womb-names to call them by until they were born. Most people in my family had womb-names. They were things like “tater” not intended to be ordinary child-names. Also, we’d picked out a girl’s name but not a boy’s name prior to the birth of our son. We didn’t actually know his name until a day after he was born. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/42 "2016-10-10T22:00:52Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > In Indonesia they don’t give their children a name till 90 days after the birth. They also don’t let the child’s feet touch the earth during this time. The reason given is that for the first three months the child remains in the realm of the Gods, not quite yet a part of this world. > > (A lovely back story, but very likely related to high child mortality rates in the days before modern medicine!) I don’t know. All the babies I’ve seen, the three-month mark genuinely is when they really come into the world. They sort of wake up. Like, you can stick a six-week-old in a wrap sling and go out to lunch in a crowded restaurant and the baby will just sleep through the whole thing; all it cares about is that it’s surrounded by mama-smell, nothing else really exists. Try that with a four-month-old and the kid will be wide awake and wiggling and trying to see what’s going on. I’ve never had anyone (apart from really close friends/family members) tell us the names they had picked out. We were the same both times I was pregnant. Partly because we didn’t want people giving us their opinions, partly because what if the baby was born and it didn’t look like the name we’d picked, and partly because it felt like tempting fate. ---
**Author:** ![Skara\_Brae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Skara\_Brae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skara_Brae)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/43 "2016-10-10T22:04:21Z")
We called my son “the zygote,” even when he was long past the zygote stage. The we called him “Sven” (my husband has a very Scandinavian last name), but were never seriously considering that. We were leaning towards Joshua as a name, but after he was born my husband decided he looked more like a John, so that’s what we went with. I know people who announced a name and then changed their minds, and still received baby items engraved with the old name. Whoops! ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2016, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/44 "2016-10-11T03:46:19Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > We had boy and girl names prepared for both of ours. > > We didn’t know the sex of either and damn sure we weren’t going to tell anyone the names we’d thought of either. It was absolutely no-one elses business. > > “are you having a boy or a girl?” they’d ask. > > “don’t know and don’t care” we’d reply. You know we are just asking because we are pretending to be interested, right? ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2016, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/45 "2016-10-11T04:19:19Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > You know we are just asking because we are pretending to be interested, right? My experience with our two is that people were genually happy for us not finding out the sex. They would usually smile and tell a short stories about how they could never not find our, or how their sister didn’t find out and it was fun. We would smile and it would be a plesent little conversation. A small shared human experience. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2016, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/46 "2016-10-11T07:33:58Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > You know we are just asking because we are pretending to be interested, right? Then the barest minimum of answers is the correct response right? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2016, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/47 "2016-10-11T11:03:02Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > Then the barest minimum of answers is the correct response right? It doesn’t matter too much whether they reveal the name or not. It’s just that this was the first time I’ve run into the “we’ve picked but aren’t saying” and it happened twice within a week. Every time before it has been either “we haven’t decided” (truthful or not) or a reveal of the names, and I just was wondering if this was a new development or whether it was something I had somehow missed. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2016, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/48 "2016-10-11T18:43:17Z")
> [@Dendarii\_Dame](#): > > Andy L is my husband. Once our son was born, we were so used to saying that that my MIL said, “HE HAS A NAME.” (Which she really liked, BTW.) > > We didn’t say the baby’s name or sex before birth because we thought that would be more fun. My parents were across the country from their parents during my Mom’s first pregnancy so they didn’t even know about my brother at all until he was born. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2016, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/49 "2016-10-11T19:10:59Z")
Apropos of nothing, I do enjoy how modern memes have introduced certain ‘acceptable’ typos / alternate spellings / alternate words into use. I.e. **babby** , **morans** , **regerts** , etc - they’re now perfectly cromulent words. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2016, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/50 "2016-10-11T19:26:46Z")
> [@Randolph](#): > > Apropos of nothing, I do enjoy how modern memes have introduced certain ‘acceptable’ typos / alternate spellings / alternate words into use. I.e. **babby** , **morans** , **regerts** , etc - they’re now perfectly cromulent words. I love “babby”. When my sister became a grandmother, she texted me from the hospital all abuzz with the news. I asked her, "how is the babby doing? She pointed out my misspelling, I insisted it was she who misspelled “baby”. She accepted my assertion and went on to text all of her friends and relatives about the new babby. She was **pissed**. ---
**Author:** ![Wednesday\_Evening](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b2d939/32.png) [@Wednesday\_Evening](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wednesday_Evening)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2016, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/51 "2016-10-11T20:55:35Z")
Our two kids were born last decade. We didn’t tell anyone our kids’ names before they were born, but we seemed to be outliers at the time. I always thought it was weird to disclose the name beforehand. What if the name you picked out doesn’t fit the baby? Also, I didn’t care to invite any comments on the suitability of the names we had picked out. It’s easy for someone to say they don’t like the name before the baby’s born, harder to say it after it’s a done deal. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2016, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/52 "2016-10-12T05:24:21Z")
Didn’t some hippies in the 1960s not even name their children, instead waiting until the kids were old enough to name themselves? Or am I just recalling a joke from that period? ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2016, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/53 "2016-10-12T11:37:44Z")
People get really stupid when it comes to babies as it is, and people get wound up over things that don’t concern them. When Airman and I had to fill out the birth certificate after the sprog was born, we had to make sure my mother wasn’t in the room because she would have insisted that he be named what she wanted, and we would have acquiesced to keep the peace. So the less people know, the less drama can ensue. I’ve seen nasty arguments start over birth plans, breastfeeding vs. formula, choice of diapers, and of course, there’s the Big One, immunizations. With the exception of immunizations, these choices are personal and no one’s business but the parents’. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2016, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/54 "2016-10-12T14:45:47Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Didn’t some hippies in the 1960s not even name their children, instead waiting until the kids were old enough to name themselves? Or am I just recalling a joke from that period? Hee. My parents had a couple of hippie friends who named their daughter something lost to the mists of time. When she was about two they decided her true name was Oona. So they did a whole renaming ceremony. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2016, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/55 "2016-10-12T15:39:13Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Didn’t some hippies in the 1960s not even name their children, instead waiting until the kids were old enough to name themselves? Or am I just recalling a joke from that period? Isn’t that how the skier, Pikabo Street, got her name? ---
**Author:** ![tallcoldone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9a140/32.png) [@tallcoldone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tallcoldone)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2016, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/56 "2016-10-12T17:20:56Z")
We chose not to know the sex of either of our 2 kids, and although we had boy & girl names picked, we didn’t tell anyone until after they were born. My wife’s oldest sister, who is definitely used to being in charge and getting her way, asked about the names for our firstborn. When we wouldn’t tell her, she replied in a huff, “I don’t think I like that.” Out of nowhere, I channeled the Dread Pirate Roberts for my response: “Get used to disappointment.” We never got any more guff from her about that name… ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2016, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/57 "2016-10-12T18:35:27Z")
> [@joyfool](#): > > Isn’t that how the skier, Pikabo Street, got her name? They tried to get her to, but eventually [her folks had to pick one](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Picabo_Street) so she could get a passport. They chose the name of a local village, Picabo, Idaho. (Should rhyme, right? It doesn’t.) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2016, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/58 "2016-10-12T19:15:51Z")
> [@Randolph](#): > > Apropos of nothing, I do enjoy how modern memes have introduced certain ‘acceptable’ typos / alternate spellings / alternate words into use. I.e. **babby** , **morans** , **regerts** , etc - they’re now perfectly cromulent words. There’s a stragety behind all of this. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/59 "2016-10-13T11:59:33Z")
> [@Magicicada](#): > > This seems like a good excuse to tell this story. I’ve changed all the names, although I’ve tried to keep the flavor of the pivotal one. > > A friend of mine, Brittany, had a cousin, Amy, who was born a week before her. Of course, it was expected that they would grow up as best friends, and that might have happened except Amy, from early childhood, based her whole identity on copying and one-upping Brittany. Whatever Brittany wanted for her birthday, Amy wanted. And since her birthday was a week earlier, she got it sooner. If Brittany got a new outfit, Amy got the same thing. Brittany did not want to dress like twins. It didn’t help that they had the same last name and were in the same class and looked enough alike many people assumed they were fraternal twins. > > All through grade school and into high school this continued. Amy tried to steal Brittany’s friends. If she found out Brittany liked a boy, she made a play for him. And so on. When it came time for junior prom, Brittany got a dress from a local shop. Amy immediately started asking to see the dress. Brittany, who didn’t want to go as twins to the prom, declined to show it to her, but Amy managed to ferret out certain details, including where it had come from. The shops all kept a registry to avoid girls experiencing the faux pas of wearing the same gown as someone else. Amy went to the shop and told them, “My cousin Brittany got the cutest blue strapless dress here, and I want one just like it, and it’ll be fine because we go to different schools.” It worked, and Amy showed up in the same gown. > > When it came time for senior prom, Brittany’s mother took her, at no small expense, out of state to find a dress not available locally. In the meantime, there was a running joke among Brittany’s friends (all of whom had had to actively resist Amy’s attempt at poaching them) that she should get a decoy dress, some really hideous concoction from a thrift shop to send Amy on a desperate wild goose chase. > > Eventually, they finished school. When they were in their early 20s, Brittany and her high school boyfriend decided to get married. Amy immediately became engaged to a guy she’d dated for about 6 months. She then set her wedding date for a week before Brittany’s, at the same venue, and of course used the same color scheme and same style of dress. By this point Brittany had matured enough to just roll her eyes. > > Then Brittany got pregnant. And so did Amy. But in this case, Amy hadn’t copied off her. She was due a few weeks before Brittany. And they were both having girls. > > Amy immediately began badgering Brittany, asking her, “What are you going to name the baby?” > > There was no FREAKING way Brittany was going to let Amy steal the baby name she and her husband had chosen. They told no one, not even the grandparents. (Her parents understood, but her in-laws were puzzled. “Oh, surely she wouldn’t?” Her husband said, “No, trust us on this one.”) > > Amy kept on. “What are you going to name the baby? Why won’t you tell me? You think I’m going to steal it, don’t you? _sob_ Why don’t you trust me?” > > And finally Brittany had had enough. She was in the uncomfortable late stages of pregnancy and she was sick of it. Remembering the joke about the decoy prom dress, she decided what she needed was a decoy name. Something outrageous, yet just plausible. “Ok,” she said. “I’ll tell you, but you have to promise you won’t use it.” > > “Oh, I promise.” > > “Cerulean.” (She had no idea where she’d yanked that one out of.) > > “Cerulean?” > > “Cerulean Blue,” Brittany confirmed. “It’s my favorite color.” > > “I like it…it’s different.” > > And so, a few weeks later, Brittany visited Amy in the hospital. “I hope you don’t mind…it just fit her. She’s a Cerulean.” > > “No, it’s ok,” Brittany said. > > Her baby was born not long after, and she and her husband named her Isabelle, just as they’d planned. She still feels guilty over getting her cousin’s daughter named Cerulean, though. This is such a good story I hope no-one minds me quoting it in its entirety. Of course, Amy’s parents should never have allowed her to become such a screw up. With our firstborn we had picked out girls and boys names in advance and not told anyone what they were. Then four weeks before the birth, my stepsister-in-law named her newborn a very similar name to one of our choices. Fortunately, our baby was the opposite sex so there is no lingering regret. But it just goes to show it can work both ways - had we talked about the name we’d picked out (naturally, they hadn’t either), the whole issue would have been avoided. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086/60 "2016-10-13T14:50:59Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > With our firstborn we had picked out girls and boys names in advance and not told anyone what they were. Then four weeks before the birth, my stepsister-in-law named her newborn a very similar name to one of our choices. Fortunately, our baby was the opposite sex so there is no lingering regret. But it just goes to show it can work both ways - had we talked about the name we’d picked out (naturally, they hadn’t either), the whole issue would have been avoided. Not necessarily. What if both of you had wanted “your” name so much you wouldn’t change it? (Unless you’re saying that had they mentioned they wanted “Clara”, say, and you wanted “Clare”, but then would have changed it to Emily.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-not-pre-announcing-the-babbys-name-a-thing-now/768086.md?page=2)