# Is Omar being a douche? More than just a Little. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 29, 2011, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306 "2011-06-29T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/1 "2011-06-29T20:17:58Z")
In [this here thread here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=614182) a woman posts about suffering a miscarriage, she has no insurance and the bills are arriving, and wonders if the father has any obligation to pay for any of the bills. Most everyone in the thread has been trying to offer reasonable advice or at least well wishes. There were, natch, a couple snarky posts early on but overall it was kept relatively positive until **Mr. Omar Little** hopped in with > [@](#): > > Guess that’s something you should have considered before having sex with the guy. If I get pregnant, is this the type of guy that I would want to have as a father of my children? Is this the type of guy that share’s my values and sense of right and wrong? Is this the type of guy that would be there for me? because Krom knows every other woman on the planet has NEVER hopped into bed with a man on an impulse; they go on a month-long journey of soul-searching first. Not to mention that the unplanned pregnancy and the loss of same already happened, making this “advice” both months too late and incredibly sanctimonious. When other posters in that thread pointed out the douchiness of saying something so douchey, the douche kept on douching, saying IMHO isn’t the place to call someone a douche. Quoth he: > [@](#): > > Who are you to dictate what advice and what advice cannot be given to someone posting on a public message board? Someone who’s got as much right as you to do it, douchebag. The OP of that thread seems to realize she made a mistake in hooking up with the guy, and she’s in the middle of emotional pain, I’m sure physical pain, and financial trouble. Yes, she made mistakes, and you’re entitled to think what you will of her. You don’t, however, have to be a self-righteous douchebag and post in the thread after repeated requests to knock it off. > [@](#): > > When you guys hijack a thread, ya’ll really hijack it don’t you? As much as I like being the center of attention, this really isn’t the thread or the forum for it. > > My apologies to the OP that people seem to be more focused on my comments than your issues at hand. A hijack which wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t insisted on douchebagging it with followup “I can be a douchebag, it’s a free country!!!” type posts. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/2 "2011-06-29T20:26:20Z")
Plus we don’t know how long the relationship was. Could have been a one-night stand or a long-term boyfriend or something in between; any of these may have a chance of flipping the fuck out and running when they hear, “I’m pregnant.” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/3 "2011-06-29T20:31:34Z")
Agreed, but he’s been a douche around and about the boards under the guide of giving “straight” advice, rather like **Oakminister**. But I will give **Oakminister** a pass because he admits he’s old and cranky and has apologized before. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/4 "2011-06-29T20:47:00Z")
Thing is, that’s NOT advice. That’s scolding. And anyone who feels compelled to scold a grown woman in the midst of a crisis for having what he considers to be inappropriate sex is a douchebag. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/5 "2011-06-29T20:47:11Z")
**Omar** had the right advice…but horrible timing with that advice…therefore, it should not have been given at all…his/her advice was really irrelevant at that point…thus, douchey. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/6 "2011-06-29T20:52:23Z")
Well I’m happy to say that I think Omar actually is a dick- bag as opposed to just posting like one. I mean hey, everyone has a brain fart and posts something poorly thought out - only a total dick-bag persists with it when his dickishness is pointed out. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/7 "2011-06-29T20:56:09Z")
Yeah, I noticed his douchiness as well (In fact, I’d stopped reading the thread once I got to his post because the sentiment left such a foul taste.) Sometimes I think guys who stay stuff like this just don’t want other guys getting laid. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/8 "2011-06-29T21:15:48Z")
There seemed to be some general douchery in that thread. None that I would think that would warrant a pit thread though. **YaraMateo** ’s post seemed much harsher than what Omar said though. > [@](#): > > Did he rape you? You act like you have no choice in making this child. You have responsibility, too ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/9 "2011-06-29T21:19:05Z")
> [@ugly ripe tomato](#): > > because Krom knows every other woman on the planet has NEVER hopped into bed with a man on an impulse; they go on a month-long journey of soul-searching first. Not to mention that the unplanned pregnancy and the loss of same already happened, making this “advice” both months too late and incredibly sanctimonious. You meant “no other” not “every other,” right? Because a lot of women actually **do** wait long enough to decide if a guy’s a douchebag before sleeping with him, and “every other” sounds like you think all women fuck people they barely know. Omar’s comments were sanctimonious and ill-timed, but it’s not really bad advice…for someone not currently suffering the loss the OP of the other thread is. A few months ago it would have been great advice, but now not so much. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/10 "2011-06-29T21:19:16Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > **YaraMateo** ’s post seemed much harsher than what Omar said though. Yah, she’s a dick-bag too but I think so many people have her on ignore they didn’t notice her comment. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/11 "2011-06-29T21:26:31Z")
Yeah, I forgot Yara. Fuck her too. To me, what makes the douchebaggery worthy of a pit thread was that there was nothing that indicated that the OP had abdicated all responsibility for this and expected him to pay all her bills. This was just pure, reflexive, misogynistic “Well try not being such a slut next time.” ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/12 "2011-06-29T21:56:07Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Omar’s comments were sanctimonious and ill-timed, but it’s not really bad advice…for someone not currently suffering the loss the OP of the other thread is. A few months ago it would have been great advice, but now not so much. Even then, it’s not good advice. I mean, it’s like having someone tell you that you should back up your hard drive after it crashes, or not leave something cooking on the stove after you’ve lost your house, or not post naked pictures of yourself on Facebook after it gets you fired, or that you really ought to go to class after you get an F. When you’ve learned your lesson the hardest possible way, having someone make sure to point it out to you isn’t helpful. It’s just self-righteous gloating. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/13 "2011-06-29T22:05:35Z")
The weird thing is, being the 'Dope, posts like that almost never happen. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/14 "2011-06-29T22:12:50Z")
> [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](#): > > Sometimes I think guys who _say_ stuff like this just don’t want other guys getting laid. I never thought of that. Never. I have to re-think some of my assumption about misogyny. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/15 "2011-06-29T22:30:06Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Yeah, I forgot Yara. Fuck her too. [Moderating] Please keep the Pit’s rules about appropriate language in mind while posting. No warning issued. [/Moderating] ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/16 "2011-06-29T22:32:18Z")
I think **Omar** was dead on in that thread. No polite, maybe, but not a bit wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/17 "2011-06-29T22:35:33Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > **YaraMateo** ’s post seemed much harsher than what Omar said though. Yes, but YaraMateo didn’t stick around to defend her stupidity. **Omar Little** did. Actually, he stuck around to whine, but that’s close enough. > [@DianaG](#): > > To me, what makes the douchebaggery worthy of a pit thread was that there was nothing that indicated that the OP had abdicated all responsibility for this and expected him to pay all her bills. This was just pure, reflexive, misogynistic “Well try not being such a slut next time.” Yup. The original post just irked me a bit, and I would have been happy to leave it at telling him he sounded like a douche. People give useless advice in IMHO all the time. In his subsequent posts, he actually misrepresented the OP’s question, which made it Pitworthy. ETA: **Dio** , you also sound like a douche. Even if his original post was technically correct, his later posts were the opposite. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/18 "2011-06-29T22:37:56Z")
I have a friend who was married to the guy who bailed on her when she got pregnant. Believing you’ve got a decent man is no guarantee that you’ve actually got one, unfortunately. Judgemental responses are no help after the fact. (And rarely helpful even before the fact, now that I think about it.) This isn’t the first time I’ve seen him act like a jerk…he also has his panties in a twist about paper carriers who are referred to as “professional paper carriers.” (I still don’t know how to link on my laptop.) I guess it really REALLY matters to him to be self-righteous, if not always…you know, _right._ ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/19 "2011-06-29T22:46:21Z")
> [@ugly ripe tomato](#): > > Is **Omar** being a douche? No. And you’re straddling the line of misrepresenting what transpired in that thread. **Omar** initially replied to the opinion in [follow-up post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13963831&postcount=10) of the OP (after it was moved from GQ-\>IMHO): > [@Miscarriage Father's Responsibilities to Help Pay Bill (No Insurance)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/10): > > …It is quite an unfair situation, I am a bit bitter I suppose, how a man can just walk away free and clear. Had **sultry** not chimed in with an “unfair” verdict against the system (or her sperm donor of choice), the opinion he posted would’ve probably been uncalled for - but he was neither impolite nor hijacking the topic. That can’t be said from some of the other posters there. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306/20 "2011-06-29T22:47:13Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I think **Omar** was dead on in that thread. No polite, maybe, but not a bit wrong. People are often on their best behavior and present the most positive aspects of their personality in the initial stages of a relationship. People can also enter a relationship with the best intentions until some stressor reveals personality flaws or a clash of ideals. No one has a crystal ball, a built-in polygraph, or insists on a personality test before falling for another. All the examples of incongruencies in the media should serve as evidence that anyone can be fooled by another. Elizabeth Edwards. Maria Schriver. Hillary Clinton. Paula Rader. Laci Peterson. Someone created [this handy Wiki list](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_evangelist_scandals)of scandals involving evangelists, most of which culminated in an apology to a spouse as well as the public. Are all these victims of a spouse’s shady behavior worthy of blame, too? Is it really fair to spank the OP with “You shoulda thought of that before you…” when we have no knowledge of the details of the relationship prior to the miscarriage? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-omar-being-a-douche-more-than-just-a-little/587306.md?page=2)