# Is penis in vagina sex instinctive? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 19, 2012, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491 "2012-11-19T10:51:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/41 "2012-11-20T03:42:32Z")
> [@Monstera\_deliciosa](#): > > [Not an urban legend](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urethral_intercourse) (note second paragraph). I also remember reading about an occurrence in some book or magazine article many years ago. Unfortunately, I don’t remember enough to find a cite. A newly married woman complained to her doctor of extremely painful intercourse, and he discovered an intact hymen, and greatly distended urethra. That just says that urethral intercourse has happened, not that it’s ever happened by accident, or with a woman who’d never had vaginal sex. One presumes that a woman would have to spend a great deal of time on stretching before it became possible, and one also presumes that any woman sexually adventurous enough to try such a thing would long since have already tried the existing much larger hole. Besides which, even given a woman with a sufficiently-stretched urethra, and partners who are actively trying for urethral sex, it would be quite easy to slip and accidentally end up in the “wrong” hole, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/42 "2012-11-20T03:59:23Z")
Oh. Gods. Stop! I beg you… Now I know exactly how men feel, crossing their legs and wincing, while reading about penis/scrotum accidents. ACK! I cannot sit here and think about urethral sex. Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow! ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/43 "2012-11-20T04:06:54Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Oh. Gods. Stop! I beg you… ow! Don’t! Stop! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/44 "2012-11-20T04:09:27Z")
😃 I totally walked into that one. :o ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/45 "2012-11-20T05:39:08Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > It took thousands of years for mankind to come up with Reeses Peanut butter cups. > > Just sayin. Taking this seriously, consider where peanuts grow and where cacao does. Once there were a significant number of people who knew about both, it didn’t take long at all to consider combining them. ---
**Author:** ![robinw13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e495f1/32.png) [@robinw13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robinw13)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/46 "2012-11-20T05:45:47Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Oh my god. Have you ever looked at a woman’s urethra? Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch. That would not even be **remotely** Possible. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/47 "2012-11-20T06:50:05Z")
I beleive the urethral sex by a naive couple was an anecdote presented in the book Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex\*. I don’t have a copy to check that though. I don’t think it was in the movie. \*But Were Afraid to Ask ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/48 "2012-11-20T14:30:50Z")
I’ve seen urethras dilated up big enough to admit a small finger, but not a typical penis, that’s for sure. Though one patient I knew years ago described her hub slipping his urethra over her clitoris during foreplay. A bit of role reversal, on a certain level. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/49 "2012-11-20T14:38:16Z")
Interesting. Plus kudos to **Lukeinva** for two separate sentences. ---
**Author:** ![benbo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@benbo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/benbo1)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2012, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/50 "2012-11-27T12:06:04Z")
A documentary on tv a few years ago (I believe with Desmond Morris) speculated that missionary position became the most instinctive after we became erect. I mean, when we started walking erect. The reasoning is, the female breasts, which were previously considered ‘unimportant except for feeding’ (!!!), didn’t look anything like the rounded globes that they do today (all individuals are different, your mileage may vary, etc.). Now here’s the kicker - the breasts came to resemble, in the anthropologists opinion, the other roundly-shaped thing on a woman that drives men crazy with lust. In other words, we started going missionary because the boobies started looking like the ass! Naturally, since the breasts were in front, women who had more prominent ones were Darwinianally selected for reproduction (fancy way of saying, ‘hooters make us guys horny’), and the most obvious position was thus the missionary. Supposedly the women’s vag migrated downward (!!!) to allow for easier insertion when the women’s legs were raised up, & the hips got rounder as well. It’s well-known that there are _some_ universal indicators of beauty & attracton, including facial symmetry, alluring eyes and clear skin (on the face). U can see how these would be more important when shtupping is done face-to-face. So, the gist of all this is that Morris & the other anthros believed that soon as we evolved into _homo erectus,_ a confluence of factors dictated (no pun intended) that face-to-face missionary was the easiest way to shtup. By that time, the sex/pregnancy connection was probably well established. I remember a previous Cecil column that discussed the face-to-face position called ‘missionary’ because when said missionaries went to Africa to prosyletize, they observed the natives doing it differently, and tried to correct them to the ‘right’ way, figuring any other way wouldn’t get the woman pregnant & thus was sinful. Which begs the question, if face-to-face was instinctual, did the natives simply know something the White Man didn’t i.e. doing it doggie-style was more fun? Or is there some other factor lost in the mists of history? ---
**Author:** ![md2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@md2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md2000)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/51 "2012-11-27T15:11:30Z")
IIRC the woman’s hips are wider / rounder because the baby’s head coming out had to fit. Nothing to do with things going in or from which direction. As for clear skin, symmettry, etc. - the general indicators of attraction in many species are “healthy” and healthy is most obvious when there are no developmental abnormalities (asymmettery) and no indications of infections. This also has the added bonus of suggesting the mate is good at the skill of feeding themselves regularly (malnutrition also contributes to developmental asymmettry), also an attractive quality if you want them to bear/provide for your offspring. Actually I thought I read somwhere that “missionary position” came from the south sea islands in the Pacific. The locals tended to do “spooning lying on their sides” sex as the preferred position, and the missionaries either helped some of the wayward women by showing them the right way, or were not shy about doing it in front of the housekeeper… ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2012, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/52 "2012-11-27T15:29:36Z")
I was thinking about this and remember way back when I was about 8 yrs old. None of us had a clue about sex. We had a clubhouse and were experiementing around with our peckers trying to penetrate each other doggie style. I doubt anyone was erect at that age but the memory is vague. I do remember poking at the vagina unsuccessfully. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/53 "2012-11-27T19:07:30Z")
> [@FuzzyOgre](#): > > …Coupled with our ability for expression, our need to share and our endless desire to try new things, it seems likely that intercourse would be rediscovered each generation… You see, son, mommy and I were lost in Pennsylvania this one time… ---
**Author:** ![benbo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@benbo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/benbo1)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2012, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/54 "2012-11-27T22:04:20Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > You see, son, mommy and I were lost in Pennsylvania this one time… Intercourse, PA.?😛 ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/55 "2012-11-28T00:19:58Z")
It’s difficult to tease out instinct and cultural conditioning among humans, but as I understand it, fetuses masturbate _in utero_. Babies masturbate [del]bleach[/del] in the cradle. So it’s quite likely that feeling good when your bits are touched is instinctive. That’s not exactly the same, of course. In fact, I doubt that PIV is really instinct as we think of it. ---
**Author:** ![md2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@md2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md2000)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/56 "2012-11-28T04:25:57Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I was thinking about this and remember way back when I was about 8 yrs old. None of us had a clue about sex. We had a clubhouse and were experiementing around with our peckers trying to penetrate each other doggie style. I doubt anyone was erect at that age but the memory is vague. I do remember poking at the vagina unsuccessfully. What was the basis of trying to poke? Was it something someone had heard? How would a guy even know she has an opening at 8yo? My thought is that the instinct is somewhere in the subconscious, but is generally lost because with cultural instruction and learning there is no need for it to be immediately instinctive. 100,000 years or more of hearing about it, talking about it, watching the older folks do it, etc. (privacy is a modern conceit of the rich classes) and there is no need to know what to do by instinct when one sentence is enough to make things clear enough to put into practice - then eventually a little fumbling will sort it out when the time is ripe. ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/57 "2012-11-28T04:27:43Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > That just says that urethral intercourse has happened, not that it’s ever happened by accident, or with a woman who’d never had vaginal sex. The third footnote in the Wikipedia article links to [this emergency room story](http://erstories.net/2008/01/it-doesnt-get-much-more-depraved-than-this/), about a woman whose husband developed a fetish for urethral sex with horrible-sounding results for her. The [8th comment](http://erstories.net/2008/01/it-doesnt-get-much-more-depraved-than-this/comment-page-1/#comment-27767) is by someone defending the practice, who claims that he and his wife accidentally had urethral sex their first time (her intact hymen caused him to slip into her urethra, he says), and how they now have it several times a week because she loves it. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/58 "2012-11-28T08:20:36Z")
> [@chorpler](#): > > The [8th comment](http://erstories.net/2008/01/it-doesnt-get-much-more-depraved-than-this/comment-page-1/#comment-27767) is by someone defending the practice, who claims that he and his wife accidentally had urethral sex their first time (her intact hymen caused him to slip into her urethra, he says), A penis is not going to accidentally “slip into” a urethra. That comment reads like some sick Penthouse fantasy letter and is complete bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Chief\_Pedant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Chief\_Pedant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chief_Pedant)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/59 "2012-11-28T12:12:04Z")
> [@benbo1](#): > > Intercourse, PA.?😛 No; they were lost in Blue Ball, before mommy and daddy found the fix in Intercourse. ---
**Author:** ![foopyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3e96dc/32.png) [@foopyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foopyx)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491/60 "2012-11-28T13:07:39Z")
I’ve unfortunately seen a video of a woman’s index finger being placed rather vigorously into a man’s urethra. I understand that it sounds ludicrous, but I assure you it exists. I bet google could confirm it. ETA: it was a sex act, and the man appeared to enjoy it a great deal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-penis-in-vagina-sex-instinctive/641491.md?page=4)