# Is person B being rude in their response? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 8, 2013, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458 "2013-01-08T07:06:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/1 "2013-01-08T07:06:27Z")
[ul] [li]Person A: Last night was cold and we had to put the heat on. Do you want to put it on tonight again?[/li][li]Person B: Tonight’s not that cold[/li][/ul] In the above exchange Person A asserts that Person B is being rude, since Person B didn’t directly answer “Yes” or “No”. Person B asserts that replying “Tonight’s not that cold” is an implicit “No”. What do you guys think? ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/2 "2013-01-08T07:10:39Z")
To me, it sounds like Person B doesn’t think the heat’s necessary, but doesn’t feel all that strongly about it. Person A is maybe being a little overly touchy. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/3 "2013-01-08T07:14:09Z")
I guess I can mentally hear how Person B’s response could sound dismissive, if it’s said less as “Eh, tonight’s not as cold as last night” and more as “Jesus, tonight isn’t THAT cold, you crazy loonpants!” But otherwise, I don’t think not giving a yes or no is inherently rude. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/4 "2013-01-08T07:15:07Z")
Not rude, B is implicitly saying that tonight is not cold enough for the heat. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/5 "2013-01-08T07:20:12Z")
I wouldn’t say Person B was being rude, I’d say they were just giving their opinion to the question asked (which would imply a “no” answer, I feel). ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/6 "2013-01-08T07:43:39Z")
Person A should have been more direct and said “I want to put the heat on, I’m cold.” If they didn’t want the other persons opinion, why ask? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/7 "2013-01-08T08:15:22Z")
I think person A and B have deeper issues than the heat. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/8 "2013-01-08T08:20:32Z")
I think person A and B have deeper issues than the heat. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/9 "2013-01-08T08:23:38Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I think person A and B have deeper issues than the heat. 🙂 Yes, yes, quoted for truth. I maintain that person B is not being rude, but if my **ex** husband was person A, the accusation of rudeness by B would be there. Also “you never f—king answer my questions, you always have to have your opinion, are you never happy giving a straight answer!” Notice the word in bold in the above sentence. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/10 "2013-01-08T09:06:34Z")
Not rude. “A” is overreacting. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/11 "2013-01-08T09:47:24Z")
Yeah, Person A and Person B should maybe have a nice talk about what’s really bothering Person A. ---
**Author:** ![glaeken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@glaeken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glaeken)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/12 "2013-01-08T10:42:20Z")
People have different sensitivities to temperature so I don’t see how it’s rude for you to express your opinion that it’s not cold to you. ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/13 "2013-01-08T11:15:46Z")
I’d consider B’s answer _slightly_ rude but not complain about that but ask for clarification. B 's answer is ambiguous because the ‘that’ in ‘Tonight’s not that cold’ can refer to last night’s temperature (tonight’s temperature \> yesterday night’s temperature) or to the notional temperature below which the heating should be switched on (tonight’s temperature \> heating threshold temperature). As (heating threshold temperature \> tonight’s temperature \> yesterday night’s temperature) could be true, B’s answer is badly designed. ---
**Author:** ![midnight-dreary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@midnight-dreary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/midnight-dreary)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/14 "2013-01-08T11:20:16Z")
A is obviously upset over something else, if they think that is rude. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/15 "2013-01-08T11:39:32Z")
The only way I’d consider B’s response rude is if nearly every response to A’s opinion is to subtly deny their wishes/beliefs/feelings. Otherwise, in reading the text - and without the benefit of vocal inflection - I would interpret B’s answer as being “I don’t think it’ll call for the heat, but it’s OK either way.” ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/16 "2013-01-08T12:05:39Z")
A is being a bit touchy. B is being non responsive. Why give an implicit no, when a real no takes a tenth of a second to say? “No, tonight is not that cold.” A is asking for B’s opinion on using the heat, not a restatement of the weather forecast. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/17 "2013-01-08T12:13:49Z")
It’s rude to be somewhat indifferent to a particular yes/no question? That’s news to me. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/18 "2013-01-08T12:30:53Z")
Rudeness is 50% what is said and 50% how it’s said. We’ve only got one half of the equation here. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/19 "2013-01-08T12:37:16Z")
It’s very similar to this: Person A: “I’m going to have people over for dinner tonight. How does chili sound?” Person B: “I had chili for lunch.” Person B is giving Person A information, but stopping short of saying, “Don’t do that.” because that implies that his preference is the deciding preference. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458/20 "2013-01-08T13:40:50Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Person B is giving Person A information, but stopping short of saying, “Don’t do that.” because that implies that his preference is the deciding preference. I still think it’s non-responsive because A is specifically asking for B’s preference, and B is refusing to give it. If you’re indifferent, I fail to see how refusing to state your indifference is a better way to communicate than to say “Feel free to choose, I’m fine either way.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-person-b-being-rude-in-their-response/646458.md?page=2)