# Is plain water and a quick scrub the simplest/best thing to get dried semen out of cotton? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 14, 2013, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170 "2013-01-14T15:20:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/1 "2013-01-14T15:20:36Z")
See subject. I expect there will be a variety of answers. ---
**Author:** ![qualityleashdog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/9f8e36/32.png) [@qualityleashdog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/qualityleashdog)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/2 "2013-01-14T16:12:03Z")
Bedsheets? Clothing? How do you know it’s semen if it dried? What practical use will you put the answer to? If it is clothing, I’d put it in the washing machine. Bedsheets, I’m sure I’d do the same. Are you trying to conceal the semen from discovery, or does its mere existence bother you? Is the stainage happening so frequently that the washing machine isn’t practical? Is the stainage infecting clothing, so you wish to conceal it before sending the cotton items to the laundry? More details, please! ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/3 "2013-01-14T16:14:35Z")
Maybe the cotton in question is a blue dress? ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/4 "2013-01-14T16:51:14Z")
> [@qualityleashdog](#): > > Bedsheets? Clothing? How do you know it’s semen if it dried? What practical use will you put the answer to? If it is clothing, I’d put it in the washing machine. Bedsheets, I’m sure I’d do the same. Are you trying to conceal the semen from discovery, or does its mere existence bother you? Is the stainage happening so frequently that the washing machine isn’t practical? Is the stainage infecting clothing, so you wish to conceal it before sending the cotton items to the laundry? More details, please! I have three (3) freshly dried semen stains–or had at 10:20 AM–on the left side lower portion of the front of a black t-shirt. One, looking slightly like Japan tilted East-West, is approximately two inches long. The second, larger and in the shape of Hungary, pre-Trianon Agreement, is two (2) inches North with the same center line, running S-NW. The third, a small non-descript island, lies an inch to the East. I wished, at the time, to conceal the stains so as to get a second day to wear the shirt without alerting observers of same of a recent–because not yet yellow, but perhaps that is immaterial, as it were, with a black shirt–sexual act, said stains being more reprehensible in the public eye than those accruing from work in a dusty attic, gardening, or futzing with your car, for example. ETA: I know it’s semen, and mine, if that information is helpful, because I was there when it happened. And I have an eyewitness to uphold my alibi. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/5 "2013-01-14T16:58:43Z")
“Need answer fast” ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/6 "2013-01-14T18:24:09Z")
Also: why does dry semen turn yellow? And no, these are not questions I think of in the afterglow. Of sex, that is, not reading SD. ---
**Author:** ![Sevencl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sevencl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevencl)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/7 "2013-01-14T18:29:55Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > Also: why does dry semen turn yellow? …what? ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/8 "2013-01-14T18:44:30Z")
Protein stains like semen and blood typically require a detergent - which is not the same thing as soap - to remove. A detergent with enzymes that specifically attack proteins would be better. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/9 "2013-01-14T19:23:30Z")
To the Op: sorry, but I don’t believe you. Geez…how stupid do you think we Dopers are?—that we’ll just fall for any lie you tell us, huh? Sorry,---- but your facts just don’t make sense, and don’t hold up to the standards we expect here. You try to claim that the second stain , the _larger_ one, is shaped like Hungary. But the [area of Hungary, pre-Trianon agreement](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treaty_of_Trianon) , is 14% _smaller_ than the [area of japan](http://www.nationsencyclopedia.com/economies/Asia-and-the-Pacific/Japan.html). Please–if you must spill stories --do not disseminate ignorance.\* \*(yes, thank you. I thought it was a pretty good pun, too. I’ll be here all night… In my bunk 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/10 "2013-01-14T19:36:51Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > \*(yes, thank you. I thought it was a pretty good pun, too. I’ll be here all night… In my bunk 🙂 ) Fair enough, however if you are going to be in your bunk, you might want to subscribe to this thread so that you can get tips on how to get rid of any…uh… messes that might develop while in your bunk. ---
**Author:** ![TheChileanBlob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thechileanblob/32/435_2.png) [@TheChileanBlob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheChileanBlob)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/11 "2013-01-14T20:37:45Z")
Umm…it’s kind of yucky to wear a semeny shirt. Why not just put on a clean one? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/12 "2013-01-14T20:47:30Z")
> [@TheChileanBlob](#): > > Umm…it’s kind of yucky to wear a semeny shirt. Why not just put on a clean one? Yeah - or if circumstances absolutely impose the necessity of rewearing the garment, contrive to spill some ketchup or gravy on it to conceal the embarrassing stains. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/13 "2013-01-14T20:59:59Z")
Has anyone noticed you’re showing some spunk? ---
**Author:** ![Sevencl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sevencl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevencl)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/14 "2013-01-14T21:01:50Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Yeah - or if circumstances absolutely impose the necessity of rewearing the garment, contrive to spill some ketchup or gravy on it to conceal the embarrassing stains. Post 9 years old, ketchup and gravy stains are pretty embarassing too. Funny-embarassing though, not ew-embarassing, so yeah, do that. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/15 "2013-01-14T21:06:12Z")
> [@Sevencl](#): > > Post 9 years old, ketchup and gravy stains are pretty embarassing too. Funny-embarassing though, not ew-embarassing, so yeah, do that. Exactly - “I can’t believe I spilt gravy all down my damn shirt! Silly old me!” = funny. “I can’t believe I jizzed on this shirt - right here - see?” = awkward silence… ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/16 "2013-01-14T21:09:42Z")
> [@Sevencl](#): > > > [@Leo Bloom](#): > > > > Also: why does dry semen turn yellow? > > …what? Is that “what” as in “that doesn’t jibe with my experience,” or “what” as in “who you callin’ _yellow_?” ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/17 "2013-01-14T21:11:19Z")
> [@NitroPress](#): > > Protein stains like semen and blood typically require a detergent - which is not the same thing as soap - to remove. A detergent with enzymes that specifically attack proteins would be better. A drop of dish washing liquid? What is a detergent with enzymes that specifically attract proteins? And the above as opposed to liquid hand soap, you say? What is the difference? I will, if I see fit, respond in due course to the additional queries put to me, aspersions included. For now, yes, semen stains on white cotton does turn yellow, as can easily and not-unpleasurably found by experiment. I don’t know why the color change occurs. ---
**Author:** ![Sevencl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sevencl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevencl)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/18 "2013-01-14T21:15:52Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Is that “what” as in “that doesn’t jibe with my experience,” or “what” as in “who you callin’ _yellow_?” As in, “holy shit, that’s a thing?” ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/19 "2013-01-15T10:36:30Z")
> [@Sevencl](#): > > As in, “holy shit, that’s a thing?” Very much so. As a teenager, I became quite aware of how semen turns in paper towels over time. Yes, I was disgusting. I was a male teenager. ---
**Author:** ![bardos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bardos/32/1069_2.png) [@bardos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bardos)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170/20 "2013-01-15T11:31:48Z")
A s a teenager, when some semen was deposited on any material be it clothes, towels or bedsheets or whatever, we used to say: “Zap, instant cardboard.” Hadn’t thought of that in years. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-plain-water-and-a-quick-scrub-the-simplest-best-thing-to-get-dried-semen-out-of-cotton/647170.md?page=2)