# Is Polygamy Really Wrong? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [June 27, 2012, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-polygamy-really-wrong/626440 "2012-06-27T09:03:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 2\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Strassia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@Strassia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strassia)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-polygamy-really-wrong/626440/221 "2012-08-10T03:32:58Z")
> [@IWLN](#): > > I don’t see a way to intelligently answer the three questions. I’m guessing there would not be very much participation, due to the social taboos. Most of us were raised to think our partner belongs to us. The women I know who were raised in big poly families typically want to re-create that in their marriages. Most of them came from other countries where polygyny is acceptable. The American Muslims that I know have chosen to be co-wives for various reasons, but many don’t because of the laws. Imo, most men are not capable of sharing. Women are more ‘tribal’. We get closer to each other and being co-wives can be a positive experience. We are fully capable of nurturing other women. I think biology gets in the way for most men. > > I just read that China has 32 million extra men, if I understood that right. That seems like it would seriously alter the world average? I am 59 and I realize the ‘pool’ is shrinking for me. I know some Muslim couples where the men married someone their own age and also married an older woman to help her out, but that is not for me. I can only imagine how ancient I would feel next to a 30 or 40 year old.:eek: > > Regardless of whether or not there would be much participation of polygamy in the U.S., it is wrong for our government to criminalize different family choices. That makes one kind of family right, based only on the fact that it has been the main custom in the U.S. I hear the excuses about how awkward it would make things for divorce, etc, if there is more than one spouse. That is why marriage shouldn’t be part of our government’s rules and regulations. It should be a private contract and a religious commitment if the couples want that. Even if there were good reasons for not legalizing it (not!), I have not seen anyone come up with a valid reason for criminalizing it. I have never heard any logical explanations for why it would harm marriage or society. It is legal to have a wife and girlfriends, but illegal to have a wife and take a second wife. It is illegal to make a real commitment to two women, but okay to just use one of them. > > I think what women are running into right now is the men who are available often are not that successful. The economy isn’t helping. Since women can do well on their own, they are alot less likely to marry the guy who hasn’t done very well. There’s probably not statistics for that. I guess it seems kind of harsh, but it’s not unreasonable to want a man who is independent. The men are available, but not so desirable. Love stretches pretty thin, when the lack of money wears people down. In most places it is not illegal to have more than one spouse. It is illegal to fraudulently have more than one spouse, and the state will not recognize more than two people per marriage. Like SSM federally, and in non-SSM states, it is decriminalized, but not recognized. ---
**Author:** ![IWLN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5ac83/32.png) [@IWLN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IWLN)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-polygamy-really-wrong/626440/222 "2012-08-10T08:11:57Z")
> [@Strassia](#): > > In most places it is not illegal to have more than one spouse. It is illegal to fraudulently have more than one spouse, and the state will not recognize more than two people per marriage. Like SSM federally, and in non-SSM states, it is decriminalized, but not recognized. Everywhere I look, it says that polygamy is illegal in all 50 states. You would think that it isn’t really polygamy, if there isn’t more than one legal marriage; but from what I understand, cohabitation can and has been considered common law marriage. I think it was Utah that used that to prosecute someone and their supreme court upheld the findings. I don’t see how the courts could assume a common law marriage, unless the people involved made the claim. Not that long ago, it was made public that the family on the Sister Wives show had to leave Utah in the middle of the night because they were tipped off that they were about ready to be arrested for polygamy. Adultery, fornication and sodomy are still laws in some of the states and they’ve been know to dust those off a few times, when it serves their purpose. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-polygamy-really-wrong/626440.md?page=11)