# Is "proposing" on your knees really a thing in the US? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 18, 2026, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790 "2026-01-18T14:44:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2026, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/81 "2026-01-19T22:44:35Z")
> [@Al128](#): > > ok then: do you have anybody in your family who did proposed on the knee? … or in your social circle/work/etc? I did it. Canadian here. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2026, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/82 "2026-01-19T23:05:00Z")
I didn’t. I wouldn’t. I’d have stopped her if she tried. It’s a disgusting custom that has no place in a modern world. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2026, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/83 "2026-01-19T23:25:02Z")
When I proposed officially to my now ex-wife, I got down on one knee. I say “officially” because we’d been together for a few years at that point, and had already made the decision in the abstract to get married. But she didn’t know when or where I was going to do it. ETA: I’m currently 52, this was about 14 years or so ago, southern Indiana. ---
**Author:** ![aurora\_maire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aurora_maire/32/328_2.png) [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/84 "2026-01-20T00:15:11Z")
My niece got engaged at Disney World. Her husband-to-be got down on one knee with Cinderella’s castle and fireworks in the background. My sister took the photos. I can’t remember now if my niece knew beforehand. My sister’s family are big Disney fans and they go there often so it’s possible she didn’t. But it obviously took some planning to find that perfect spot and time. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/85 "2026-01-20T00:43:55Z")
^^ That’s the most American thing I’ve ever read on this board. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/86 "2026-01-20T01:00:36Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > That’s the most American thing I’ve ever read on this board. But in a good way, actually. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![aurora\_maire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aurora_maire/32/328_2.png) [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/87 "2026-01-20T01:03:37Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > That’s the most American thing I’ve ever read on this board. Heh. They also went there for their honeymoon. 😁 ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/88 "2026-01-20T03:14:13Z")
Well that’s just overkill. 😄 ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/89 "2026-01-20T05:01:13Z")
When I proposed to my Chinese wife in Tokyo, it was just the two of us. I got down on one knee, took off the Tibetan buddhist ring that I wore on my ring finger, and put it on her ring finger. We went shopping for an engagement ring the next day, since I knew she wanted to pick the ring. Actually, we ended up getting custom rings made by her cousin a few months later in Hong Kong. Married about 30 years, divorce in progress. 🤣 ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/90 "2026-01-20T06:21:54Z")
> [@Ancient\_Nerd](#): > > Thirty years later, she was comparing notes with a friend and complaining. I’m sure she must have her good qualities, but I can’t imagine holding onto anything for 30 years, let alone a proposal. > [@Ancient\_Nerd](#): > > The traditional approach cannot go wrong. Actually, it can because there are a lot of people who dislike traditional approaches. > [@doreen](#): > > I’m not talking about having a party after the fact. I’m talking about a gathering of family and friends all there (perhaps after traveling to a vacation destination) to witness the “proposal” with a professional photographer. My nephew and his fiancée did that, with friends and family there. Apparently quite the occasion. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/91 "2026-01-20T07:11:41Z")
For many people, getting down on one knee isn’t the right way to do it. But for me it was. That was 24 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/92 "2026-01-20T10:04:12Z")
It would be every bit of a mistake to not do it with someone who wants that gesture and if you want to, as it would be for the reverse. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/93 "2026-01-20T13:34:08Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > Married about 30 years, divorce in progress. 🤣 I hadn’t heard about this. My simultaneous condolences and congratulations. At least that’s how I felt about mine. A strange brew of feelings. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/94 "2026-01-20T13:34:42Z")
> [@Ancient\_Nerd](#): > > Thirty years later, she was comparing notes with a friend and complaining. That’s weird. After we agreed to get married, and shopped for rings, i asked my fiance if he was planning to take a knee to ask me to marry him. He pointed out that I’d already agreed to marry him, and that would be pointless. I couldn’t argue his logic. And until this thread, i haven’t thought about it since the wedding. Probably not much before the wedding, either, although i don’t remember. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/95 "2026-01-20T13:35:15Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > Married about 30 years, divorce in progress Best wishes that this turns out well for both of you. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/96 "2026-01-20T17:00:41Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Yes, sometimes the man pops the question to a surprised woman. That’s what I did; shocked the shit outta her (she did say yes & we’re still together three years later). It was big enough & unique enough that it got picked up as a local news story; the reporter had to do some work to track us down; phone calls to three or four people who each got him a little closer until he got lucky enough to make my phone ring - This was in an area with no to, at best, _very_ limited cell service (so I usually keep my phone in airplane mode there so as not to drain the battery by boosting power to look for service); we were somewhere where we could steal some wifi to let family know at that time; otherwise I wouldn’t have realized he called for a couple more days. Separately, I’ve videoed a number of proposals in the balloon. In most cases the guy will let us know in advance & we can work with him (video, coordinate timing to make sure we don’t burn/make _loud_ noise during the magic moment, etc.) but sometimes even we are surprised. > [@LSLGuy](#): > > @Ancient_Nerd … > Nothing says “You’re special” like a 50,000 seat concrete venue w food wrappers on the floor. Or unique enough that it’s a $tandard $ervice they offer…for a $tandard fee but then again, most people only do this once (or twice) in their life; not everyone is super creative. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/97 "2026-01-20T17:20:50Z")
Upthread, someone described a relative’s proposal at Walt Disney World. Presumably that place was special to the couple in question. And I expect that there are couples for which a sports team is special as well, so that the recipient of the proposal would appreciate it being made at the stadium. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/98 "2026-01-20T17:33:48Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I’m going to guess that a large fraction of Americans discuss getting married while sitting on the couch, eating dinner, or brushing their teeth. And they hash out those details. The formal proposal is sort of romantic theater that many couples go through afterwards. This, I think, is the only “uniquely American” aspect of this custom: the relatively high proportion of couples who still want or enjoy a “formal proposal” even though the mutual decision to marry has already been made and discussed. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/99 "2026-01-20T17:33:50Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > It’s a disgusting custom that has no place in a modern world. What’s disgusting about it? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790/100 "2026-01-20T17:37:55Z")
I mean, I guess I could see how somebody might be disgusted by the symbolic exaggerated self-abasement of the traditional posture. (Literal genuflection? Really?) Or might be disgusted at the idea that a woman expects a man to assume such a self-abasing posture when proposing marriage. Or might be disgusted at the “theatrical spectacle” aspect of this very personal life decision if it’s performed in public… …Actually, I have no real idea. @LSLGuy, why did you call this practice “disgusting”? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-proposing-on-your-knees-really-a-thing-in-the-us/1026790.md?page=6)