# Is putting on a tie a private activity? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 9, 2015, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017 "2015-10-09T12:21:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/21 "2015-10-09T15:01:42Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I voted for it depends. Our office is business casual so the guys here wear slacks and dress shirts but are not required to wear a tie. Every once in a while something will come up where it is appropriate to wear one for a short period of time, such as a meeting or a client presentation, and they’ll sometimes just put it on sitting at their desk. It doesn’t occur to me to think it tacky because it’s almost like a costume or something that they take off as soon as the event is over. However, if you’re going to be wearing a tie all day, I have a vague sense of “you \*can \*be arsed to put it on before you leave the house” . Not a big whoop, but it does seem a bit unprofessional. Mind, if you have your own office, close the door and do whatever you want. Bonus for you if you have a sexy secretary who can tie it for you 😉 I 100% agree, and am thankful that someone who makes some sense typed it all out because if I had tried, it wouldn’t have made any sense whatsoever. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/22 "2015-10-09T15:12:18Z")
I’m with those who think of it not as private or rude, but as unfinished. If a woman is unlucky enough to work at a job that requires hose, putting them on at work has the same connotation to me of someone who didn’t get dressed fully and who didn’t actually show up to work in the proper work clothes. This is all about cultural expectation, though. Lots of women wear sneakers to work then change into heels. Lots of men who have to wear suits will carry the jackets. These things strike me as normal and expected. But carrying a tie, though equivalent, seems more sloppy and unprofessional, just because it is less done. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/23 "2015-10-09T17:09:45Z")
Maybe the guy who puts his tie on in the bathroom needs to use the mirror, not because he thinks it has to be done in private. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2015, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/24 "2015-10-10T01:11:21Z")
I suggest you embrace the tie. Men wear them for some reason and I can’t believe it is only to show conformity. Put the tie on before you need to and wear it longer than you have to. Wear it out. Tell your friends you’re trying something new. Buy one that you really like and wear it like you mean it. I did that for years and still don’t particularly like wearing a tie but I did get a few compliments and I never worry about a tie event anymore. And you put on the tie before you go out. Don’t attempt a full Windsor in public until you’re an expert. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2015, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/25 "2015-10-10T01:41:05Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > One should get dressed at home–not at one’s desk, or in the office bathroom. > > To the extent clothes say something about you, publicly pouting while acting out conformity (which is what putting on the tie at work is) is a straight up middle finger at those who want to see adherence to a dress code. Anyone who is that concerned about how other people are dressed and use their power over others’ need to pay their bills to force them to conform or otherwise punish them should not be able to live through a waking hour without someone giving them a “fuck you” of one kind or another. ---
**Author:** ![velomont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/8491ac/32.png) [@velomont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velomont)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2015, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/26 "2015-10-10T01:59:01Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > One should get dressed at home–not at one’s desk, or in the office bathroom. Putting a tie on is not “getting dressed”. It’s just an accessory which is mandatory in some places and optional in others. I’m fortunate that they’re only required with specific clients. > [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > To the extent clothes say something about you, publicly pouting while acting out conformity (which is what putting on the tie at work is) is a straight up middle finger at those who want to see adherence to a dress code. Seriously? As others have said, it’s no different from putting on a jacket or sweater. If I’m putting a tie on at my desk I’d love to know how that is equivalent to pouting. To me it is the equivalent of putting a tie on at my desk, no more, no less. And “but don’t be surprised if your brazen self-confidence isn’t met with commensurate respect. If the right people notice, you may as well show up wearing a tattered Rolling Stones T-shirt and manky denims.” Good lord, how you can attach so much symbolism, importance and meaning to a tie. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2015, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/27 "2015-10-10T05:15:10Z")
> [@kbear](#): > > He can probably only do the knot while looking in the mirror. > > Putting on a tie at your desk doesn’t seem like a faux pas to me. Maybe if you unzipped your trousers to tuck in your shirt… Agreed. But putting on - or even more, taking off - a belt in public seems over the line, and a bit creepy, to me. Illogical, but there you go. No one ever said humans had to make sense. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2015, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/28 "2015-10-10T05:46:00Z")
Putting on your tie in front of family members is ok. At work, it should be done in the bathroom. I feel it’s unprofessional to do this at my desk. I know I’m in the minority here. I have some pretty old fashioned ideas about professional dress. I know. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2015, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/29 "2015-10-10T05:52:25Z")
I think he was excusing himself for the rest room because he needed a mirror. I never thought much of a 4 in hand knot myself, I’ve seen a lot of those worn crookedly. When I was in the service and needed to wear a tie daily, I used a half windsor. It’s symmetrical and easy to center without a mirror. It’s not like any naughty bits will possibly be exposed (unlike when putting on hose) while putting on a tie. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2015, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/30 "2015-10-13T13:36:26Z")
> [@velomont](#): > > Putting a tie on is not “getting dressed”. It’s just an accessory which is mandatory in some places and optional in others. I’m fortunate that they’re only required with specific clients. > > Seriously? As others have said, it’s no different from putting on a jacket or sweater. If I’m putting a tie on at my desk I’d love to know how that is equivalent to pouting. To me it is the equivalent of putting a tie on at my desk, no more, no less. > > And “but don’t be surprised if your brazen self-confidence isn’t met with commensurate respect. If the right people notice, you may as well show up wearing a tattered Rolling Stones T-shirt and manky denims.” > > Good lord, how you can attach so much symbolism, importance and meaning to a tie. Because the OP flat out said that’s what they are doing. And because we know many employers say you must be ready to work by the time your job starts, not busy finishing up something. I think it’s really weird myself. If you have an employer that cares about appearance enough to make you wear a tie, I suspect they also care about appearance enough to not have you still getting into uniform when you arrive. I suspect they would also see putting on a coat or sweater the same way. But apparently I’m wrong–at least, based on the norms where Dopers live–though I’m not 100% convinced we’re all on the same planet. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2015, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/31 "2015-10-13T13:41:57Z")
If putting on a tie is a private activity you’re tying it just under the wrong head. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2015, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/32 "2015-10-13T15:09:39Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > Agreed. But putting on - or even more, taking off - a belt in public seems over the line, and a bit creepy, to me. > > Illogical, but there you go. No one ever said humans had to make sense. Taking it off suggests that you’ve just seen someone who needs his ass beaten, and people will want to get out of your way. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2015, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/33 "2015-10-13T15:27:43Z")
> [@velomont](#): > > Putting a tie on is not “getting dressed”. What? Of course it is. Everything you wear, down to a ring or a watch, is part of getting dressed. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2015, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/34 "2015-10-13T15:34:39Z")
You’re all crazy. Watching a man put on a tie is sexy. Way sexy. Totally fine to do in company, or at work. Then laugh as gracer’s knees give way. It’s intimate, romantic. That quiet concentration. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it’s inappropriate. I just think it’s beautiful. And sexy, did I mention sexy? Mmmm men. Like men. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2015, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/35 "2015-10-13T15:47:52Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > You’re all crazy. Watching a man put on a tie is sexy. Way sexy. Totally fine to do in company, or at work. Then laugh as gracer’s knees give way. > > It’s intimate, romantic. That quiet concentration. > > Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it’s inappropriate. I just think it’s beautiful. And sexy, did I mention sexy? Mmmm men. Like men. Are you serious?:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2015, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/36 "2015-10-13T15:51:36Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > What? Of course it is. Everything you wear, down to a ring or a watch, is part of getting dressed. I think the point is that you are not “undressed” if you don’t have a tie on. Compare, say, showing up to work bare-chested. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2015, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/37 "2015-10-13T15:54:12Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Are you serious?:dubious: Yes. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2015, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/38 "2015-10-13T15:58:51Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I think the point is that you are not “undressed” if you don’t have a tie on. Compare, say, showing up to work bare-chested. Agreed. But there is still something “un-put-together” about not having all the pieces in place, with cultural exceptions like not having a jacket on. Does not having a tie on yet fit into that cultural exception? I don’t know. I don’t work in a place that requires a tie. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2015, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/39 "2015-10-13T16:09:49Z")
I don’t think I would be bothered by someone putting a tie on at their desk but I also don’t think I’d ever do it myself. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2015, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017/40 "2015-10-13T16:29:18Z")
I’m voting with the something else option. It’s not that it’s a private activity, it’s just not a professional business activity. I’d rather have my co-workers think of me hard at work being professional and not have them thinking of me putting on my tie. Perhaps a silly and meaningless concern, but it is kind of an image thing that I would think about. Since heading for a bathroom is hardly an inconvenience to me, something like that would be my preferred option. (However, my guess about the OP’s co-worker is along the lines of others: he needs a mirror. I prefer to have one myself.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-putting-on-a-tie-a-private-activity/734017.md?page=3)