# Is quoting the contents of a PM against the "rules?" **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [July 30, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811 "2009-07-30T21:33:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/121 "2009-08-01T00:15:32Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Frankly, I’d be satisfied just to get some of my PMs responded to. You have PMS? I’ve only known on one other male to have PMS. (When the teached did not believe him, he puked on the teacher.) ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/122 "2009-08-01T00:16:37Z")
Ok–I’ll agree to that those points. I don’t think Seven would have misquoted Tuba–but clearly that’s just based on what I know of Seven. So, fair cop for the “out of context”. I was thinking “sentence is out of context” not “entire post is out of context”. I hope I was clear that I didn’t think that Tuba’s e-mail was anything close to a Duke/Phelps e-mail. I was just using that for an example. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/123 "2009-08-01T00:24:37Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Ok–I’ll agree to that those points. I don’t think Seven would have misquoted Tuba–but clearly that’s just based on what I know of Seven. So, fair cop for the “out of context”. I was thinking “sentence is out of context” not “entire post is out of context”. > > I hope I was clear that I didn’t think that Tuba’s e-mail was anything close to a Duke/Phelps e-mail. I was just using that for an example. I don’t think he would have actually made shit up, either. I have little doubt those words are there. But without his mail to her\*, we can’t say how appropriate the response was- which seemed not all that bad to me. (IMHO, and I can see how you might feel differently) Well, you have been slinging the term “hate speech” around a lot in this context. Can we agree it’s not even close? I can buy you think it’s “unprofessional”. - odd that _that_ has not been posted, but of course I am not a Member at Giraffes board, so perhaps it has and I haven’t seen it. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/124 "2009-08-01T00:27:57Z")
> [@Gfactor](#): > > And there are exceptions even to that rule, I assume, for example that your code of ethics has a self-defense privilige like this one from my jurisdiction: > > A lawyer may reveal: > > Is that correct? Yes, and also if required by law, if ordered by a court, or if there is imminent risk of death or serious bodily harm (including serious psychological harm). ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/125 "2009-08-01T00:38:09Z")
> [@InvisibleWombat](#): > > I can tell you that mods do _not_ have the ability to read other people’s PMs That’s because with their ability to read other people’s minds, they don’t need the ability to read other people’s PMs. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/126 "2009-08-01T00:41:26Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I don’t think he would have actually made shit up, either. I have little doubt those words are there. But without his mail to her\*, we can’t say how appropriate the response was- which seemed not all that bad to me. (IMHO, and I can see how you might feel differently) > > Well, you have been slinging the term “hate speech” around a lot in this context. Can we agree it’s not even close? I can buy you think it’s “unprofessional”. I think I’ve been saying Hate-email, but point taken. Yes. I’ll agree that what Tuba posted wasn’t even close to anything resembling hate-speech and I was grossly overstating it to say so. > [@](#): > > - odd that _that_ has not been posted, but of course I am not a Member at Giraffes board, so perhaps it has and I haven’t seen it. I don’t know if it has. I’ll check Giraffe and see. I’ll also ask if Seven has a copy and can post his as well, if he hasn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Xploder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a183cd/32.png) [@Xploder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xploder)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/127 "2009-08-01T00:48:58Z")
Again. Here’s the (unwritten) rule. Do NOT quote **Tuba** in public when she has chastised you in private. You will immediately be removed. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/128 "2009-08-01T01:01:34Z")
For me, it’s a matter of free speech. There has to be one hell of a powerful reason before I am willing to have my freedom fettered. The sensibilities of PMers who do not want their words exposed to the light of day do not come anywhere close to justifiying such a fettering. It is in their power to prevent disclosure by me by simply not PMing me in the first place. Once they communicate with me, they have made their choice. PMing is just one of many ways of communicating, which when contrasted against posting on a board, makes conversations between two people more easy without derailing or excessively dominating a thread. There is no inherent double handshake super secret aspect to PMing – PMs are not routed through Vegas. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/129 "2009-08-01T01:03:53Z")
> [@Xploder](#): > > Again. > > Here’s the (unwritten) rule. > > Do NOT quote **Tuba** in public when she has chastised you in private. You will immediately be removed. This is, of course, a gross over-simplification of the whole kerfuffle. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/130 "2009-08-01T03:02:23Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I don’t think he would have actually made shit up, either. I have little doubt those words are there. But without his mail to her\*, we can’t say how appropriate the response was- which seemed not all that bad to me. (IMHO, and I can see how you might feel differently) In my view, I don’t think the response being appropriate or not should make any difference, or at least that seems to be the way the board is run. If someone insults me in a rule-breaking way, and I do the same back, we’re _both_ going to get moderated, not just him because my response was “appropriate”. In general, i’d really not say that the board culture as to this kind of thing was “it’s alright to break rules or behave badly, so long as you’re provoked into it” - we’re generally expected to be able to control ourselves. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2009, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/131 "2009-08-02T23:56:30Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > That’s because with their ability to read other people’s minds, they don’t need the ability to read other people’s PMs. Dangit! Who told you about that? … Oh. I see. I’ll have a chat with him. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2009, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/132 "2009-08-03T00:43:09Z")
We have ways to make you think. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2009, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/133 "2009-08-03T02:00:06Z")
> [@Sapo](#): > > We have ways to make you think. If only. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2009, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/134 "2009-08-03T04:13:09Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > This is, of course, a gross over-simplification of the whole kerfuffle. Is it really? In my experience with TubaDiva, she has a very short fuse. She can be extremely kind and gracious, as when she signed the guestbook on the site we have dedicated to our grandson, and when she corresponded with us (my wife and me) approaching a Christmas years ago. Then at other times, she can be cold, snarky, and quite frankly insulting — especially when she is in board admin mode. Just to give a typical paraphrase, it’s kind of like this. Good TubaDiva: Thank you so much for your kindness. I don’t know how I can repay you. Bad TubaDiva: Just knock it off. All of you. Thread closed. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2009, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/135 "2009-08-03T05:06:00Z")
Sure, we know Tuba-like all good Divas- also has a “not so nice” side. So do most of us. But really, the quote wasn’t the entire thing. Here, he called you names that were unacceptable, and was warned: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=11109455#post11109455](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=11109455#post11109455) He got another warning here, for insulting other posters in ATMB; [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=10976022#post10976022](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=10976022#post10976022) and yet another warning here: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=11310420#post11310420](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=11310420#post11310420) I think they found yet another. And there was the whole bit about the “snark” board, where he went far beyond a simple mention of another board. Now sure, quoting Tuba from a PM, and then making it his sig was likely the thing that drew the final lightning bolt, but I can’t see where anyone would say that’s not “being a jerk”, even if a rule against it is not spelled out. So, yes, your statement was “a gross over-simplification of the whole kerfuffle”. I don’t know what’s been up with Seven for the past few months, but his posting has gotten increasing strange, antagonistic and angry. All he seemed to do is push the limits, and you should know full well what that leads to. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2009, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/136 "2009-08-03T06:33:31Z")
For the record, it was not my statement. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2009, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/137 "2009-08-03T16:56:30Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > If only. I didn’t say “intelligently”. ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2009, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/138 "2009-08-04T12:00:16Z")
Why aren’t Ed and Tuba sounding in to this thread? ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/139 "2009-08-06T09:26:53Z")
Ah those chirping crickets…🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811/140 "2009-08-08T06:15:06Z")
**Mods** , would it be jerkish behavior to discuss Private Email sent between two other people if they haven’t brought it up for discussion? I know it would be childish and mean, but would it be a no-no? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-quoting-the-contents-of-a-pm-against-the-rules/504811.md?page=6)