# Is Raj gay? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 17, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307 "2012-12-17T15:00:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![sachertorte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sachertorte/32/3727_2.png) [@sachertorte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sachertorte)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/21 "2012-12-17T18:22:28Z")
> [@N9IWP](#): > > There was also the Halloween Party girl (she was drunk but he wasn’t - she complimented him on his litening skills) > > Brian Very true. Early BBT had Raj as the most successful in getting with girls. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/22 "2012-12-17T18:24:48Z")
Raj is a transsexual who is not fully aware of it yet. He is also attracted to women. This makes him a future lesbian after his SRS. It also explains his speech problem around women. Internally he knows he’s a woman and is self-conscious about his masculine voice around people who naturally speak in a feminine way. So, gay, sort of. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/23 "2012-12-17T18:29:45Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Total frustrated hetro horndog. Seconded. Also excrutiatingly shy - or even mentally disabled - in his typical inability to speak directly to women. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/24 "2012-12-17T18:46:11Z")
No. First off, he identifies as straight. And that should be enough for everyone, otherwise you open the opportunity for people to tell gay people they aren’t gay. (That also covers why he’s male and not female.) But, pretending that it is not, what evidence to we actually have that he is gay? He’s heavily into fashion. He likes to do parties. He’s really into looking good. Why are these gay characteristics? Yeah, in someone you don’t know at all, you might see that and start wondering. But we know a lot about this guy. Why are those superficial traits the ones that tell us of his sexuality, and not the women he’s slept with (when drunk, no less, so his inhibitions are down) or his shyness around women or his own stated preferences that he has, even when alone? Could they eventually make him gay? Sure. They made Willow into a lesbian on _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_, despite being perfectly obviously straight before that. But, as of now, he is not gay, and, if he were a real person, we would have no reason to think he might later discover he was gay. As for the claim that he might be trans: he doesn’t seem at all uncomfortable with his own body, either. People refer to him as male, and he shows no distress at that. So he doesn’t seem to want to change either his sex or his perceived gender. He is what he says he is: metrosexual–a guy with a few superficial gay characteristics. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/25 "2012-12-17T18:48:39Z")
He says he’s not, and just as in real life that’s good enough for me. I don’t insist on telling people they’re gay because they engage in behaviors (short of exclusive romantic or sexual attachment to members of the same sex/gender) that I’ve decided are “gay.” I know it is supposed to be a sign of how enlightened we are that we’re willing to determine that someone is gay, even in the face of their protestations otherwise, and not be bothered by it, but I just find it kind of annoying. Yes, Raj could be gay and just pursues women out self-denial. Or he could be straight and engages in behaviors that comedy writers think of as “gay.” If we treat this as fiction, then we’ll know when the writers tell us. If we pretend it’s real, then I leave it to Raj to figure it out. ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/26 "2012-12-17T21:09:52Z")
He’s not gay. Last week I thought he might be a woman in a man’s body, but that’s not right either. He’s straight but he likes to hang out with the girls. I guess I’d classify him as metrosexual. A clueless metrosexual. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/27 "2012-12-17T21:11:53Z")
As presented, he’s definitely straight. He fares poorly with women because of his pathological shyness, and he’s not in tune with all of the Western cultural cues concerning sexuality because he comes from a different culture. Neither of those makes him gay. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/28 "2012-12-17T21:18:16Z")
He’s not gay. That’s the joke. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/29 "2012-12-17T21:40:06Z")
Even his ‘ersatz gay marriage’ with Wolowitz is not based on sexuality. They bonded heavily over shared lonliness and geek interests and filled the companionship role for each other until Bernadette replaced him. ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/30 "2012-12-17T21:45:50Z")
Don’t forget his Bernadette daydreams. Definitely not gay. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/31 "2012-12-17T21:49:14Z")
Has anyone else ever thought if Raj did come out of the closet he’d gain the ability to talk to women while sober, but loose the ability to talk to men? ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/32 "2012-12-17T22:38:21Z")
What in the world on the show would lead one to think he is gay? ---
**Author:** ![minlokwat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minlokwat/32/2844_2.png) [@minlokwat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minlokwat)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/33 "2012-12-17T23:06:55Z")
I voted 'Other" since I honestly thought you were talking about Raj from **What’s Happening!** I don’t think it’s worth setting up a companion poll but I would vote that, while not the most manly of men, Raj was definitely not gay. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/34 "2012-12-18T00:17:23Z")
> [@Saltire](#): > > Don’t forget his Bernadette daydreams. Who doesn’t have Bernadette daydreams? ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/35 "2012-12-18T00:21:59Z")
I hope not. It seems to me it would be such a cop out if he is. (Or, rather, if he _discovers_ that he is, because clearly he does not currently believe himself to be gay.) Also, it does not seem to make much sense to me. If he were actually gay, why would he be so afraid of attractive women that he can’t speak? It is straight guys who care too much about about making a good impression on women who wind up getting themselves too anxious to speak to them. I never really thought his dependence and “couplish” relationship with Howard meant that he was gay, just that he was lonely and very dependent on Howard for company. (And seriously, would a gay man fall for Howard?!) In any case, that has wound down now since Howard has moved on. However, in the last couple of series, the writers seem to have been giving Raj more and more stereotypically gay characteristics, while at the same time making him gradually less needy and dependent, so I really do wonder whether we are building up to a climax where Raj finally discovers his gayness, and comes to terms with himself. Maybe it will be with Stewart, who has somehow changed from someone relatively suave by nerd standards (after all, he got a date with Penny the first time she walked into his store), to being even more pathetic than any of the main characters were when the show started. In a way, he seems a more plausible repressed gay than Raj does. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/36 "2012-12-18T00:37:25Z")
Incidentally, what has happened with Amy’s lesbian tendencies? I think it would have been rather cool if she had actually managed to bed Penny (even if we didn’t get to watch ⭕p). Penny is not gay, of course, but she is enough of a slut that I could see it happening as a one off, and maybe enabling Amy to “find herself”. But it seems like Amy’s crush on Penny is being phased out in favor of an actual relationship with Sheldon. Surely Sheldon can’t end up in a real couple though! ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/37 "2012-12-18T00:50:31Z")
On second (or is it third) thoughts, an overtly straight, sympathetic main character (and an “ethic” one at that) “turning” gay is probably _far_ too radical for an American network sitcom, even in the second decade of the 21st century. I guess I have talked myself round. Now I hope he is gay, but I don’t think he is going to be.☹ ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/38 "2012-12-18T01:11:45Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Who doesn’t have Bernadette daydreams? Gay guys. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/39 "2012-12-18T01:37:45Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > What in the world on the show would lead one to think he is gay? Well it was hinted at by his webcam conversations with his parents or maybe with Priya, IIRC. Or, I should say, it was hinted at that his parents thought he might be gay. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307/40 "2012-12-18T01:48:44Z")
> [@Small\_Clanger](#): > > - Slept with that fat girl > - Slept with (drunk) Penny > - Hit on summer Glau > … Also ended up in bed with a drunk girl after the first season’s Halloween party, and the gold-digging deaf chick. He acts in a way we might assume is gay, but he has never really shown any physical attraction to men (robo-kissng machine with Howard notwithstanding, they weren’t kissing each _other_). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-raj-gay/644307.md?page=3)