I was raped nearly 20 years ago. While I’m not happy with the sentence the SOB got, I do not think the death penalty is appropriate for rape.
Pretty much, I believe the death penalty is only appropriate for particularly heinous murders. I do not think rape is as bad as murder and it’s a very important point for me.
After my rape, I had a couple well-meaning friends tell me they’d “rather die than have that happen.” I know they didn’t mean to make me feel worse, but I came away thinking I was so damaged that many people would rather be dead than be like me. However, I didn’t feel that way–I felt damn glad to be alive. As warped as it sounds, that made me feel really guilty. What was wrong with me that I was happy to have survived when others would prefer death?
Add that to the incredible feelings of guilt I had about maybe not fighting back hard enough or smart enough, and I was a wreck for a while. I was wallowing in so much guilt for a while that I actually thought maybe I would have fought harder if I had been willing to die rather than be raped.
It’s hard for me to type this. Not so much because the event still traumatizes me, but because my thoughts at the time really make no sense now and they’re difficult to describe. They made no sense then either (as a very patient therapist helped me realize), but feelings don’t always follow logic.
As I mentioned earlier, I don’t believe in the death penalty for anything other than particularly heinous murders. Even then, while I don’t oppose it in theory, the way it works in reality (particularly the likelihood of convicting the wrong person) makes me think we’re not ready for the death penalty. However, even if we were, I don’t think I’d support it in rape cases.
Rape is terrible, but it’s not as bad as dying. Like alice_in_wonderland, I don’t think I’m a total fuck up now because of the rape. I sure was for a while, but I like to think I’m a reasonably healthy gal these days. I could recover from the rape. If I had been murdered, well, I’d still be dead. The penalties for rape should be severe, but they shouldn’t be the same as for murder.