# Is removing a door from its hinges cruel and unusual punnishement for a teenager? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 11, 2010, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089 "2010-05-11T19:48:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/41 "2010-05-12T02:27:13Z")
> [@Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](#): > > I don’t know how this will actually achieve anything. Whatever they’re doing in their room, they can do in someone else’s room, somewhere else. Sounds like the dad’s complaint is that the pot smoking is happening in the house, though, rather than elsewhere. In that respect, smoking it in someone else’s house is the goal. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/42 "2010-05-12T03:39:59Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > And, ummmm … I know all the males out there are gonna go :eek:😕:eek:😕 but … I didn’t know \*how \*to masturbate back then. All I can say is, it’s not as intuitive for many girls as it seems to be for guys. Word. I didn’t start masturbating until I was in my 20s. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/43 "2010-05-12T03:50:43Z")
Well, to be fair, for many girls it’s even more intuitive. Most of the early learners re masturbation that I’ve known were girls. Guys seem to do it around like 11-12, but I’ve known a lot of girls who started around 4-5. I was four when I started. Though I have never heard of a guy not starting till his twenties and I guess that is common for girls. ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/44 "2010-05-12T03:54:21Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Forget masturbation – what did you do about _getting dressed_? Yeesh. > > . Dress in the bathroom. Close the door and hopes no one opens it. It happens once that my mum barged in while I was dressing, and I was really fluttered, but all she aid was, “Please, do you think anyone would want to look at you?” ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/45 "2010-05-12T03:56:00Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I reiterate what another poster said–how did you masturbate? really surreptitiously? Lying down in bed, under the covers, usually after my folks had gone to bed. Isn’t that normal? I didn’t feel a real need for privacy as a teen. Until my stepdad moved in and we got a two-bedroom apartment (I was 12), my mom and I shared a double bed. Once I had my own room, it never occurred to me to close the door unless 1) I was changing clothes and my stepdad was home 2) I was up to something that my parents wouldn’t approve of or 3) I had friends or boyfriends over and we were up to teen-stuff. Other than that, the door was always at least slightly ajar. There was no rule telling me I had to leave it open, it was just how I did things. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/46 "2010-05-12T03:58:33Z")
> [@The\_Urban\_Spaceman](#): > > That’s not what I said. If that’s not what you said, then your point is unclear to me after re-reading your post. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/47 "2010-05-12T05:25:55Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > It seems a bit harsh to me, but since nothing else was working… Second. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/48 "2010-05-12T08:01:53Z")
I’ve seen it work a lot. I actually had my lock taken out for a little bit when I was really young. I could shut the door, but I couldn’t lock anyone out. My cousin, on the other hand, had his whole door removed. He stayed out of trouble until he graduated, at least. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/49 "2010-05-12T08:52:05Z")
My daughter was having some problems in getting her homework done and turned in on time when she was in middle or high school. My husband and I went to a session with one of her teachers, who told us of several discipline options, and one was removal of the bedroom door. The mere thought of this caused Lisa to turn pale. I think that this is a viable punishment option, especially when combined with some form of grounding. Cruel? Well, the child absolutely doesn’t like it, but that’s the point of punishment, to give the transgressor a reason to change his/her ways. Privacy is not some kind of right. My husband grew up in a three bedroom, one bathroom house, with three boys and five girls. All of the same sex kids changed in front of each other, and all the girls put on their makeup in the girls’ bedroom. My sister and I slept in the same bed until I was 14 and she was 11, and I didn’t get my own bedroom until I was 15. I think that the removal of a bedroom door is an extremely effective way for a parent to get a point across. Yes, the child will think it’s horrible, but I think when a child abuses his/her privacy to commit a forbidden, illegal activity, then the child should not expect the parent to facilitate that activity. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/50 "2010-05-12T09:12:30Z")
Throughout my childhood I always had a door with a lock. I would have went ballistic if anyone had attempted this. That being said, I never smoked weed in my room. I did it outside. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/51 "2010-05-12T13:22:39Z")
> [@Oni no Maggie](#): > > Lying down in bed, under the covers, usually after my folks had gone to bed. Isn’t that normal? > > I didn’t feel a real need for privacy as a teen. Until my stepdad moved in and we got a two-bedroom apartment (I was 12), my mom and I shared a double bed. Once I had my own room, it never occurred to me to close the door unless 1) I was changing clothes and my stepdad was home 2) I was up to something that my parents wouldn’t approve of or 3) I had friends or boyfriends over and we were up to teen-stuff. Other than that, the door was always at least slightly ajar. There was no rule telling me I had to leave it open, it was just how I did things. I had a bedroom with a locking door, which I rarely implemented. Like **Oni no Maggie** , I figured out how to be discreet by employing the “late at night under the covers” method when it came to masturbating. I didn’t have my own bedroom until I was at least 7 or 8, and even after that point, I didn’t feel a need to have the door closed unless I was doing something noisy like watching tv or listening to music. In my first two years of college, I shared a dorm room with other people, and was used to what one does to get around the privacy issue that not having your own room presents, so it wasn’t a big deal. I really don’t think the punishment of removing a bedroom door is a bad idea, and it’s pretty effective for the “hiding something from us” behavior. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/52 "2010-05-12T13:44:08Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Kid should be doing it with friends somewhere else anyhow. Seriously. I never smoked or drank anything in my parents’ house. That’s what every other place on the planet were for. > [@Lakai](#): > > Based on my upbringing I was always amazed when I heard that kids could keep their parents out of their rooms. How was this done I asked? You just asked them to respect your privacy? 😕 Are you my sister, because we have the same mom. Apparently I needed to be checked in on every few hours all the way until I was 18 and left for college. Did she think I drowned in there? That I was deeply engrossed in my meth habit, or what? I hear stories about teenagers sneaking out of the house, and I couldn’t if I wanted to (and I wanted to). My parents _always_ knew I was home because they just barged into my bedroom whenever they felt like it. I think I was allowed something like five minutes after a shower, or when getting dressed in the morning. If the door were closed for too long, they’d get suspicious and just make themselves present in my bedroom. Asking them to respect my privacy… LOL! That was a good one. Re: wanking > [@Valgard](#): > > I know that I wasn’t the only teenager who spent more time in the bathroom than strictly necessary from a sanitary standpoint. > [@Oni no Maggie](#): > > Lying down in bed, under the covers, usually after my folks had gone to bed. Isn’t that normal? This is how I did it. I seriously think the worst part of taking a teen’s door off the hinges is that it makes it very difficult for him to make special fun time with himself, and \*that \*is cruel. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/53 "2010-05-12T14:15:41Z")
It’s a little extreme but it seems like it was an extreme situation. And it worked. Certainly not cruel - a beating is cruel, this is just unpleasant. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/54 "2010-05-12T14:24:55Z")
I’m sure that the teen thinks it’s cruel. But that just shows just how spoiled the little rat is. The only “Rights” a kid has is that they’re properly fed, housed, and educated. Hearing folks talk about a right to privacy is like listening to my downstairs neighbor in grad school talk about his “Right” to party loud and proud at 2 am on a Tuesday. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/55 "2010-05-12T14:36:55Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > I’m sure that the teen thinks it’s cruel. But that just shows just how spoiled the little rat is. > > The only “Rights” a kid has is that they’re properly fed, housed, and educated. Hearing folks talk about a right to privacy is like listening to my downstairs neighbor in grad school talk about his “Right” to party loud and proud at 2 am on a Tuesday. Yeah, you should all listen to Vernon here. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/56 "2010-05-12T14:42:22Z")
Well, it’s not the teen’s room anyway. It’s a room in my house where I let my teenager sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/57 "2010-05-12T14:58:59Z")
> [@OccamsTaser](#): > > I think it’s brilliant. Nothing my parents ever tried with me, and I’ve never heard of it before. It would have driven me absolutely insane as a kid, and been very effective. This^^^. It’s unusual, but only cruel in the “teenage embarrassment” sense. I’m gonna have to remember that one when my child gets to be that age. ---
**Author:** ![Zulema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/db5fbb/32.png) [@Zulema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulema)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/58 "2010-05-12T15:33:15Z")
We did it to my son when he would go in his room and pretend to do his homework. First we took everything except his bed and clothes out of his room so there was nothing else to do. Then when we found out he was just lying on his bed doing nothing we took his door off. It worked. My nieces who are younger than him were visiting at the time and asked why he didn’t have anything in his room and his door was gone. When they found out their eyes got huge with shock that something like this could happen. Now my sister can threaten the door and they instantly behave. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/59 "2010-05-12T15:45:38Z")
Cruel? Ha! Sounds like PC opinion. A loving and caring home is a benevolent dictatorship. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089/60 "2010-05-12T15:46:32Z")
While I would’ve hated my parents 4EVR if they had ever taken my bedroom door away, I now see this as good parenting. Privacy is a privilege, not a rule. If he can’t be trusted with it, it goes away. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-removing-a-door-from-its-hinges-cruel-and-unusual-punnishement-for-a-teenager/539089.md?page=4)