# Is sex better when it's "dirty"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 9, 2026, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528 "2026-02-09T22:15:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/1 "2026-02-09T22:15:37Z")
I wouldn’t normally start this type of thread, but I was specifically asked because of a comment I made in another topic. In the Christian tradition, and others, there’s a longstanding sense of shame and sin associated with sexuality. It’s nearly impossible for me to imagine it being otherwise, despite books like Brave New World and Stranger In a Strange Land. Even in our porn-soaked world, sex is still not for polite discussion under many circumstances. I’d posit that “sex is dirty” has led to many problems. But I’m also sort of grateful! With the right frame of mind (one without _actual_ shame), I think it makes sex more fun. Difficult for me to envision sex being as aboveboard as sneezing or eating. What say you? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/2 "2026-02-09T22:21:14Z")
I say hell yes. I have a thing for priests which might be how I found The Scarlet Letter tolerable. It’s always more fun if you’re not supposed to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/3 "2026-02-09T22:23:42Z")
I have been in situations in the past where legal sex was not considered to be something to be ashamed/guilty of. No meant no, of course, but saying no was never accompanied by a sneer or a nasty look. I found it to be rather refreshing- a learning experience, if I may. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/4 "2026-02-09T22:25:10Z")
Judaism considers sex in marriage to be a mitzvah. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/5 "2026-02-09T22:25:24Z")
Assuming it’s not illegal or harmful, sure, it’s better dirty. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/6 "2026-02-09T22:38:18Z")
As an aside, when I was about six years old I asked my mother if sex was illegal. She said, “Of course not. How do you think I got you? Why did you think that?” It’s just that adults were always so secretive about it around kids, using hushed voices and covering our ears, I assumed it was like drugs or something you’re not supposed to do. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/7 "2026-02-09T22:39:52Z")
“Is sex dirty? Only when it’s being done right.” ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/8 "2026-02-09T22:44:13Z")
I disagree, as a woman. Its a bonding of two souls to me. Thats beautiful, not dirty. ---
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/9 "2026-02-09T22:50:10Z")
> [@susan](#): > > Judaism considers sex in marriage to be a mitzvah. I love the soup they make out of that stuff. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/10 "2026-02-09T22:58:17Z")
Is a couple cans of whipped cream considered dirty? ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/11 "2026-02-09T23:03:52Z")
TMI, really. No need to get specific. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/12 "2026-02-09T23:07:29Z")
Ok. No specifics then. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/13 "2026-02-09T23:08:14Z")
One of the immensely huge downsides of the religious condemnation of sex is the idea that virginity must be preserved until the wedding night. Which has caused no end of anguish and disappointment in this sorrowful world. I can at least say that on the night after our wedding we had a lot of fun, much of it of the kind that would not be approved of by religions. Which has considerably modified my opinion of religions. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/14 "2026-02-09T23:08:26Z")
Woody Allen can still be quoted? Fine with me. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/15 "2026-02-09T23:18:13Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > I disagree, as a woman. Its a bonding of two souls to me. Thats beautiful, not dirty. Interesting. As a woman, I don’t feel that strongly about it. It’s fun. Nice for stress relief. I’ve certainly had some special moments with my partner. But when I think of the bonding of two souls I think of conversation, emotional support, those kinds of things. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/16 "2026-02-09T23:18:52Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > It’s just that adults were always so secretive about it around kids, using hushed voices and covering our ears, I assumed it was like drugs or something you’re not supposed to do. My kids _wish_ my wife and I were secretive. She and I are always snuggling and smooching and telling each other how sexy we find one another, and our kids are all EWWWW. 😆 ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/17 "2026-02-09T23:20:23Z")
This is good modeling for their future relationships, however gross they find it now. My kid is going to grow up with parents who make relentless fun of each other. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/18 "2026-02-09T23:21:09Z")
> [@susan](#): > > Judaism considers sex in marriage to be a mitzvah. As long as you wait seven days after her period. (But the “sheet with a hole in it” thing is fake.) ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/19 "2026-02-10T00:23:49Z")
Since my wife and I grew up in an era where sex was done in the dark and consisted mainly of kissing and PIV activities and anything outside of that was considered ‘dirty’, she and I are all for hot, dirty, sweaty, creative sex. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/20 "2026-02-10T00:33:31Z")
Yes! Absolutely yes! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528.md?page=2)