# Is sex better when it's "dirty"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 9, 2026, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528 "2026-02-09T22:15:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/21 "2026-02-10T00:38:43Z")
Do you intend dirty to mean exciting, or forbidden? ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/22 "2026-02-10T01:23:45Z")
“Dirty” is shame based and nah. > [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > It’s fun Agree. I happen to be bonded to the only person I’ve had sex with for the last … gosh probably 45 plus years (and let’s face it, not so many before then) … but to me sex is neither dirty nor bonding of souls: it is _play_. > [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > My kid is going to grow up with parents who make relentless fun of each other. I’m struck that there are two sorts of couples in movies and that I find have chemistry that is believable: those who you can feel some lusty attraction together; and those who bicker and tease well and without shame. Honestly the latter more believable than the former! For my taste it is a better role model than lots of lover dovey talk and PDAs. ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/23 "2026-02-10T02:15:08Z")
Maybe thinking about whether or not it is “dirty” is too cerebral, when you could— should!— be going at it like a couple of (or more) wild beasts. That is the reason why certain monks and priests are supposed to remain celibate: not that fucking is “dirty” or there is anything wrong with it, but it is what any animal is programmed to do, versus you could be devoting your mental and physical energies to a higher sphere. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/24 "2026-02-10T02:26:00Z")
Only if you think clinically. The genitals are not really pretty. And they leak, lots of stuff. Add smells and saliva and any artificial substances you might find fun. Yeah, it’s gonna get down and dirty. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/25 "2026-02-10T02:31:12Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > and those who bicker and tease well and without shame. My husband literally wrote into our wedding vows that he’s allowed to make fun of me. We’ve got a lot of good memories. There was a time early in our relationship where he squirted water at me. I went and got a full glass of water and chased him down and dumped it over his head. Then there was the time I was putting on my pants while pontificating about my own intelligence, I think I said something like, “I do value wisdom, don’t I?” And looked down and discovered I had put on my pants inside out. We laughed so hard I fell on the floor. _That_ kind of stuff is where I find intimacy. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/26 "2026-02-10T02:38:26Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Yeah, it’s gonna get down and dirty. I have a friend who is a sex-repulsed asexual. Some people give her a hard time about it. I said to her, “I mean if you aren’t actually feeling all those good feelings, then objectively sex is pretty disgusting.” She felt validated. One of the things that makes it good for me is that sensory stuff I would normally be really freaked out by does not matter one iota in the throes of pleasure. One of the guys in my writing group couldn’t even talk about one of my romance scenes without blushing. He said, “You are _filthy._” Course that’s a compliment in my industry. But yeah there’s a huge recurrence of the forbidden love theme in romance novels. Clearly a lot of people find it fun to sin. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/27 "2026-02-10T02:41:37Z")
I have had sex many times while being bored, going through the motions. It took me 11 partners before I found my ex and everything was better. To add the humor that Spice likes, once when he finished, I went All Right! Like Linda Belcher. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/28 "2026-02-10T09:34:35Z")
> [@Llama\_Llogophile](#): > > What say you? By “dirty” do you mean “kinky”? If so, I’d have to say no, the best sex I’ve had has been fairly normal. I mean, I’m not kink-shaming here, and I’ve happily tried lots of thing that fall under the kink umbrella, but the best sex was just two people + the time to enjoy each other. Then again, I’ve never had a threesome or moresome, so it’s always _possible_ I’ve missed out on even better sex. Although my common sense says no. Or does “dirty” just mean religious guilt? In which case I couldn’t say, I’ve never suffered from it and neither have any of my partners. There were times with various partners (when I was _much_ younger) when we had to be circumspect around _their parents_’ religious sensibilities, but I don’t think that made our own activities shameful. Just careful. And that pretty much went out the window by the end of uni and everyone involved living on their own. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/29 "2026-02-10T10:26:03Z")
I grew up in a really conservative religion where any sexual contact was a sin. Even masturbation was wrong Until you got married, and then you were supposed to flip a switch and suddenly sex was supposed to be not a sin, but tell your body that. I was surprised to discover there are people who could just have sex without the guilt. I’m past that now, but sex = feeling guilty took up too much of my life. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/30 "2026-02-10T10:43:48Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Since my wife and I grew up in an era where sex was done in the dark and consisted mainly of kissing and PIV activities and anything outside of that was considered ‘dirty’, she and I are all for hot, dirty, sweaty, creative sex. In some other thread, I think you posted a picture of yourself and your wife, and my comment was how it was a perfect image of a life well lived. **That** is what it’s ultimately all about, and you’ve got it. You’ve captured the Holy Grail. Congratulations. All else is fluff. ETA: I don’t mean to say that relationships are all about sex. I mean to say that they’re about enduring commonalities. ---
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/31 "2026-02-10T10:52:44Z")
like taboo? ---
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/32 "2026-02-10T10:54:08Z")
ala ‘be fruitful and multiply” ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/33 "2026-02-10T11:12:13Z")
Definitely. As long as both parties consent (including being old enough to legally consent) and no one is hurt then go for it. It reminds me of olden times where a husband and wife wore a sleeping smock to bed with a slit in it so sex could happen for procreation. Sure, it serves a purpose but is that “better” than losing the smocks and having a fun tussle? I do not think so. If you find a like-minded person sexually then enjoy getting your freak on (with the caveats above). Have fun! ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/34 "2026-02-10T11:26:08Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > It reminds me of olden times where a husband and wife wore a sleeping smock to bed with a slit in it so sex could happen for procreation. Never happened. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/35 "2026-02-10T11:28:38Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Never happened. Seems you are correct. My bad. Still, it illustrates the point raised in the OP so works for that (if we imagine that was the case as a “less dirty” means to have sex which would then be only for procreation and never gratification). ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/36 "2026-02-10T12:39:39Z")
I don’t see how an entirely fictitious practice illustrates anything other than how fertile human imaginations are. I also don’t see how even if it were true, there’d be no gratification involved. It’s still PinV sex, and not even as restrained as Mormon soaking. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/37 "2026-02-10T13:26:04Z")
Made-up or not I really am not sure how to tell you that PinV sex with smocks on differs from the more “dirty” version of no smocks. If you know, you know. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/38 "2026-02-10T13:49:23Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > Made-up or not I really am not sure how to tell you that PinV sex with smocks on differs from the more “dirty” version of no smocks. I’m sure it differs. Whether it’s dirtier is up to the participants - clothed sex is some people’s kink. > [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > If you know, you know. I know it’s made up, so yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/39 "2026-02-10T14:03:57Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I don’t mean to say that relationships are all about sex. I mean to say that they’re about enduring commonalities. I agree. I’m just happy that one of my wife and my enduring commonalities is dirty sex. And that picture you mention was two pics, us at ~age 16 and then recreating the pose 50 years later. We’re now over 52 years since that original pic. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528/40 "2026-02-10T14:43:09Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > > [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > > > Made-up or not I really am not sure how to tell you that PinV sex with smocks on differs from the more “dirty” version of no smocks. > > I’m sure it differs. Whether it’s dirtier is up to the participants - clothed sex is some people’s kink. Sex through a hole in cloth sounds really kinky to me. (Much moreso than sex through an open fly and around underpants.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-better-when-its-dirty/1027528.md?page=3)