# Is sex overrated? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 30, 2012, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849 "2012-07-30T14:04:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/41 "2012-07-31T00:38:10Z")
For me personally, sex is a necessary part of an intimate relationship. Hell, it’s a vital part of life itself! I was married for four years, and for two of them my wife was on Prozac, which totally took away her sex drive. We went for months at a time without sex. The constant rejection on such an intimate, personal level really damaged me for quite a while; the man I am today wouldn’t put himself through that. I won’t start a relationship with someone whose sex drive is drastically different from mine, and if my present partner and I drifted that far sexually, I would either end the relationship or find another way to fulfill my drives. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/42 "2012-07-31T00:44:37Z")
Female. Not overrated at all. One of the funnest things there is to do. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/43 "2012-07-31T00:53:05Z")
Yep, right up there with huffing air duster and throwing rocks at cars. ---
**Author:** ![Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hero_From_Sector_7G)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/44 "2012-07-31T01:05:24Z")
> [@MyFootsZZZ](#): > > a big one is that I’m on anti-depressants. If you’re talkin’ about what I think you’re talkin’ about, I feel ya dude. At first it was like “shit I’m superman!” now it is like “um, we good here?” ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/45 "2012-07-31T01:09:11Z")
Male here, and I’ll be honest, I’ve always thought it was overrated. It seems like a lot of work, and frankly, I enjoy masturbation more: always have. I have enjoyed sex when it’s spontaneous and unexpected. Sex with an ongoing partner, for me, has been boring, obligatory, and dutiful. Yep. I’m aware this isn’t the norm, but there you have it. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/46 "2012-07-31T01:15:09Z")
Impossible to answer with any validity. All I know is I had what was probably the best sex of my life last week. Male, mid 50s. It was worth the wait. ---
**Author:** ![GovernmentMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e9c0ed/32.png) [@GovernmentMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GovernmentMan)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/47 "2012-07-31T01:33:18Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Female. Not overrated at all. One of the funnest things there is to do. wtf. seriously? ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/48 "2012-07-31T02:11:15Z")
> [@GovernmentMan](#): > > wtf. seriously? What part of even sven’s comment leaves you all agog? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/49 "2012-07-31T02:34:49Z")
> [@Arrendajo](#): > > What part of even sven’s comment leaves you all agog? Total shot in the dark here but I wonder if **GovernmentMan** misread **even sven** ’s post as “funniest” instead of “funnest”, thus causing his confusion. Maybe? ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/50 "2012-07-31T03:40:04Z")
> [@Farmer\_Jane](#): > > Having _great sex_ with someone you care about is totally under-rated. I’ve decided that at the age of 27, I’m not settling for anyone where the sex isn’t great and the relationship isn’t amazing. Me too-sticking to my guns so rigorously that I haven’t had anyone in 14 years. Before that (i.e. before that one person, where I appeared to have finally found someone with whom I clicked on all levels, until that is she dumped me 2 weeks in, a week after a single afternoon of passion), it was definitely always “that’s it, that’s what all the excitement is about?” And frankly that’s fine, and appears to become less and less worth worrying about with each passing year as I find more and more other things with which to keep my life filled with joy and meaning. 4 minutes of squelching noises, full of sound and fury signifying nothing? Utterly pales in comparison. For mostly prostrate-related reasons I “test” the plumbing twice weekly, but get very little out of it anymore. \ ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/51 "2012-07-31T05:03:51Z")
sex is overrated. it is no wheres more important than lots of things; like for example let me think a bit. i’ll get back to you. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/52 "2012-07-31T11:31:12Z")
> [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](#): > > If you’re talkin’ about what I think you’re talkin’ about, I feel ya dude. > > At first it was like “shit I’m superman!” now it is like “um, we good here?” \*\*VT’s Experience with Paxil, a Brand-new Medication **(_c. 1993_) \*\* Starting Dose**: “Wow, I can last _forever_!” **Increased Dose:** “Wow, this is taking forever.” \*\* Prolonged Use:\*\* “Wow, I haven’t even thought about it in… forever.” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/53 "2012-07-31T12:56:29Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I have enjoyed sex when it’s spontaneous and unexpected. Sex with an ongoing partner, for me, has been boring, obligatory, and dutiful. It is for everyone if you let it be. For a good long-term fulfilling relationship - and I think I have at least _some_ grounds to speak, being in a relationship for fifteen years and we still have sex 5-6x most weeks, both partners need to be aware of the propensity for real life to get in the way, and for the fact that sex can get boring if you don’t work at it. Like anything else, it requires maintenance. That doesn’t mean it has to be bad or dull or routine…but it does create closeness. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/54 "2012-07-31T13:41:49Z")
The dynamics of sex in a relationship make it interesting. My first marriage lasted 20 years and we had sex nearly every night. It never seemed routine even though it probably was, lots of affection but the act itself proably averaged less than 20 min. Second wife, lasted 5 years. 90% of the time I felt like she was just getting me off. I tried to save her the trouble and speed things up as much as possible. Present releationship has been chaotic over the past 17 years. Both if us have cheated numerous times, many break ups and seperations. Our sex has anever been routine, sometimes angry, sometimes extremely loving, sometimes just crazy lustful monkey sex. I really enjoy it because after all these years we both have an almost constant state of sexual tension going on. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/55 "2012-07-31T14:04:47Z")
> [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](#): > > If you’re talkin’ about what I think you’re talkin’ about, I feel ya dude. > > At first it was like “shit I’m superman!” now it is like “um, we good here?” YES! Haha. Very much like that. When I’m… alone, things go better. Why is that I wonder? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/56 "2012-07-31T14:25:03Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I’m not questioning that it happened, it happened with me too. But that shouldn’t be an excuse for considering sex overrated. Why does he need an excuse? You don’t need an excuse to like or dislike something. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/57 "2012-07-31T14:44:03Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > Why does he need an excuse? You don’t need an excuse to like or dislike something. I thought he meant that I’m not in a position to say it’s overrated when I’m on meds… but I still don’t know what I would think of sex without them. I guess I’ll get a little personal since I don’t really care what people think of me. They say women are aesthetically more beautiful than men, which I would agree to so long as their legs are crossed. I haven’t been with many partners, but I’m SOMETIMES turned off by women when it comes to “down there”. The smell and the taste can differ… but for the most part, I’m just not use to it I guess. On top of that, all the porn I watch is lesbian. I’m not grossed out by there being a man in the mix, but it doesn’t do anything for me either. I wonder if years of not having anyone to ‘relate to’ in my porn has effected me. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/58 "2012-07-31T15:28:52Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > Male, 51. > > I miss it, haven’t functioned in that area since 2004, due to my disability. It used to be very important. I’m sorry to hear this ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/59 "2012-07-31T15:36:48Z")
Well if you don’t like it, it’s overrated for you. That doesn’t mean its overrated in general. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849/60 "2012-07-31T15:47:51Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Well if you don’t like it, it’s overrated for you. That doesn’t mean its overrated in general. Oh yeah, I know. I really wanted to hear from at least one other male that it was “overrated” to them. I wouldn’t feel so alone. I should definitely not give up on it yet. Like I said, I haven’t had much experience. Most of you make it sound so great, I feel like I’m missing out. 🙂 Sorry if I got too personal… I probably shouldn’t have done that, knowing for a fact people that know who I am IRL read my posts here. But I like to be as open as possible. I also want people here to understand why I might find it “overrated”, maybe get some advice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-overrated/629849.md?page=4)