# Is sex with a hooker "essentially masturbation"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 17, 2015, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117 "2015-08-17T21:26:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/1 "2015-08-17T21:26:28Z")
In a thread I’m too lazy to link to, a Doper whose name I have forgotten in a middle-aged-haze has asserted that sex with a hooker is “essentially masturbation” – meaning, I presume, that the lack of emotional connection between prostitute and client results in the devaluation of the former, or the latter, or both, as a human being, so that one or the other might as well be a dildo or Realdoll. Or something like that. I dunno, it’s not my position. I think it’s a claim that requires contorting the word “masturbation” into meaninglessness. But I could be wrong. Anyway, I thought it would make an interesting poll topic, so I’m starting one. Thoughts, anyone? ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/2 "2015-08-17T21:36:15Z")
I think the presence of actual physical contact makes it different. I tend to think of sex with another person, even if its a business transaction, as having at least SOME (if involuntary) emotional connection - now it may not be that much, but a least a little bit. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/3 "2015-08-17T21:43:02Z")
I have only had sex with a couple of hookers but I would have to rate it as excellent! You get what you pay for sometimes. Years ago I had a $40.00 hooker that did me from 2 am until well past daylight with a midnight run for a snack inbetween. Just depends on the hooker I would say. She was a real bargain! cheaper than a date and a better lay than most. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/4 "2015-08-17T21:56:33Z")
Does a Dutch Rudder count? ---
**Author:** ![polar\_bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@polar\_bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/polar_bear)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/5 "2015-08-17T21:56:54Z")
No, no it is not. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/6 "2015-08-17T22:22:56Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I have only had sex with a couple of hookers but I would have to rate it as excellent! You get what you pay for sometimes. Years ago I had a $40.00 hooker that did me from 2 am until well past daylight with a midnight run for a snack inbetween. Just depends on the hooker I would say. She was a real bargain! cheaper than a date and a better lay than most. Where does one find these $40 hookers who fuck for hours and then go out to get food? ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/7 "2015-08-17T22:34:15Z")
No, they seem to me to be completely different things. Even if you’re not making an emotional connection with a prostitute, he or she is still a human being, and a human being is different than a dildo or a blow-up doll or your own hand. ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/8 "2015-08-17T22:37:34Z")
> [@Rodgers01](#): > > No, they seem to me to be completely different things. Even if you’re not making an emotional connection with a prostitute, he or she is still a human being, and a human being is different than a dildo or a blow-up doll or your own hand. Agreed. Though I made an emotional connection with my right hand about 45 years ago. I still love my hand - it has never let me down. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/9 "2015-08-17T22:38:58Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Does a Dutch Rudder count? Thank you for expanding my vocabulary today… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/10 "2015-08-17T22:39:19Z")
What if the hooker’s name is Rosie? ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/11 "2015-08-17T22:40:03Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Where does one find these $40 hookers who fuck for hours and then go out to get food? No kidding, a lot of girlfriends would be out of business in a hurry if this was common. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/12 "2015-08-17T22:42:12Z")
Is she jerking you off? Then yes. It’s masturbation. Otherwise it’s sex with a hooker. > [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Where does one find these $40 hookers who fuck for hours and then go out to get food? Brazil ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/13 "2015-08-17T22:50:10Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Is she jerking you off? Then yes. It’s masturbation. > > Otherwise it’s sex with a hooker. Huh? A hand job is not masturbation. Masturbation is by definition the sexual stimulation of one’s own genitals, by oneself - no? Or am I being whooshed? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/14 "2015-08-17T22:50:16Z")
The opinion that sex with a hooker is no better (or not much better) than whacking off is a common opinion. Or, more precisely perhaps, is the opinion that _after a while_ it’s no better. (“After a while” means, after doing business with whores for weeks or months – not simply doing business with a hooker once, after the first fifteen minute.) There’s allegedly more to a real relationship than just fucking (everybody seems to agree with this, or pretend to because it’s all sooooooooo PC) and there’s more to a real relationship than having the emotional connection. Like what? In a real relationship, the lucky couple can engage in a variety of social and recreational activities that involve spending lots of time together, going places – beach, museums, hiking, dining/theater/clubs/other-night-life-on-the-town, boating, skiing, sports (either participating or watching spectator sports), etc. – the list can go on and on and on of things one can enjoy doing that _two_ can enjoy doing all the more. That doesn’t happen with hookers, and only a little bit (at great expense) with professional “escorts”. Then, there’s the more physical things, short of actually having sex (in any of its forms). There’s the making out, hugging and cuddling, petting, massage. Those are all of somewhat limited availability with hookers, and what there is, is no substitute for “the real thing”. You can get an hour for a price that some well-employed johns can afford. Those all-nighters, I would expect, are exorbitantly expensive. And still no substitute for “the real thing”. Then there’s the overt out-and-out (or in-and-out) plain old sex. Okay, you can get that from a hooker. It’s the absence of all the other stuff that stays absent when you do biz with a hooker. That’s why a certain percentage (I suspect a large percentage) of customers give up on whores sooner or later, saying it’s just expensive masturbation. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/15 "2015-08-17T22:50:50Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Is she jerking you off? Then yes. It’s masturbation. I don’t think even this qualifies. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/16 "2015-08-17T22:53:06Z")
Unless you’re a complete, textbook sociopath, the fact that there’s another person in the room has to have some sort of effect on you during sex. Maybe not even a good effect, but _something_. If nothing else, I’ve never been concerned during masturbation that my right hand might shank me and steal my money when I’m done. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/17 "2015-08-17T22:53:53Z")
If sex with a hooker is really “essentially masturbation,” then why wouldn’t you just masturbate instead? It’s cheaper and safer. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/18 "2015-08-17T22:56:09Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > In a thread I’m too lazy to link to, a Doper whose name I have forgotten in a middle-aged-haze has asserted that sex with a hooker is “essentially masturbation” – …? He just got a lazy, or very inexpensive one. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/19 "2015-08-17T23:23:39Z")
No. Hookers are human beings. Seriously, wtf? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/20 "2015-08-17T23:46:59Z")
Anyone who thinks sex with another person is the same as masturbation really needs to try sex with another person. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117.md?page=2)