# Is sex with a hooker "essentially masturbation"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 17, 2015, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117 "2015-08-17T21:26:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/41 "2015-08-18T12:49:22Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I can’t get oral by myself. One word: Yoga. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/42 "2015-08-18T13:17:19Z")
> [@scootergirl](#): > > Agreed. Though I made an emotional connection with my right hand about 45 years ago. I still love my hand - it has never let me down. 😛 _high-fives **scootergirl** _ ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/43 "2015-08-18T14:22:43Z")
Somehow I think my fiancée would react differently to finding me with a prostitute as opposed to finding me amusing myself by abusing myself. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/44 "2015-08-18T16:30:39Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I’ve never been concerned during masturbation that my right hand might shank me and steal my money when I’m done. Just the same, I’m keeping mine right where I can see it. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/45 "2015-08-18T17:48:19Z")
If there’s another live human in the room, it ain’t masturbation. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/46 "2015-08-18T17:51:02Z")
> [@Master\_Wang-Ka](#): > > If there’s another live human in the room, it ain’t masturbation. Ok, you opened the door. Sex with a corpse, masturbation or not? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/47 "2015-08-18T18:15:26Z")
Which of the poll options means “no”? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/48 "2015-08-18T18:19:40Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Which of the poll options means “no”? None of them. Rhymers are jerks. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/49 "2015-08-18T18:29:11Z")
> [@Master\_Wang-Ka](#): > > If there’s another live human in the room, it ain’t masturbation. It’s performance art. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/50 "2015-08-18T18:31:55Z")
> [@Master\_Wang-Ka](#): > > If there’s another live human in the room, it ain’t masturbation. In the room, you say? Does that include the class of preschoolers over in the other end of the swimming pool? 'Cause if so, the life guard who kicked me out was totally in the wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/51 "2015-08-18T18:42:04Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > None of them. Rhymers are jerks. Well, I feel better about choosing the face-punching option now. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/52 "2015-08-18T18:50:53Z")
> [@Balthisar](#): > > I wonder if sex with your wife with whom you no longer have an attraction counts, in lieu of hooker. Being with such a wife might definitely be not as good as masturbation. Word. Immensely degrading when the truth of it dawns that she’s just making you go away. If you’re particularly slow on the uptake, sometimes she has to actually say it when you’ve finished: “OK?” Solo is better than that. I wonder if that’s what the “hooker = masturbation” crowd is getting at–you both know there’s nothing there but your dick and a meat sock, everything else is just pretend. I never went with a hooker, so I really don’t have an opinion one way or the other. It’d be hard for me to not call her later for a proper date. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/53 "2015-08-18T19:18:24Z")
> [@Master\_Wang-Ka](#): > > If there’s another live human in the room, it ain’t masturbation. BTW, I suppose that you’re the expert on this subject, going by your username. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2015, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/54 "2015-08-19T06:05:46Z")
> [@Blaster\_Master](#): > > I have not had, nor do I have a desire to have, sex with a prostitute, but I do sort of agree with the sentiment put forth in the OP. The idea being that sex with a romantic partner encompasses more than just the act of copulation itself but, hopefully includes some degree of fulfillment of emotional and spiritual desires as well. I suppose it’s possible, but it’s unlikely to really have a meaningful emotional or spiritual connection with a prostitute and, considering that you’re paying her, she’s not willing in even the same way a one-night stand you picked up at a sleazy bar would be. In that sense, it seems to make a prostitute tantamount to a sex toy that’s attached to a person who is a professional in using it. Yes, it’s a dehumanizing view, but dehumanization is pretty much par for the course for sex work, no? Pretty much this. It is as if one person in a play thought the action was real while the others were working off a script. I’d think any positive feedback you get, any semblance of an emotional connection, would seem like acting, to be repeated to the next john. It ain’t masturbation. It’s much worse. ---
**Author:** ![polar\_bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@polar\_bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/polar_bear)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2015, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/55 "2015-08-19T10:14:13Z")
Always funny how people that “never had, nor had a desire to” try something, seem to have a very specific view on how it is. As with anything in life, there is no such thing as a “prositute visit”, ymmv on about 298 different variables. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2015, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/56 "2015-08-19T15:43:03Z")
I’ve never had any sort of sex with a hooker, but if sex with a hooker was essentially masturbation, who would pay for a hooker when masturbation is free? Obviously a fair number of men discern a difference. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2015, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/57 "2015-08-19T16:24:27Z")
To the question: no (Notice he cleverly does NOT poll the question). Saying sex with a prostitute is essentially masturbation is saying the prostitute does not exist. That an interaction is exploitive or objectifying does not make the person an object. If there were really no difference in the eyes of the customer, why would he choose paying over free? And even if he is seeing the prostitute as an object, why should it be HIS call? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2015, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/58 "2015-08-19T16:45:41Z")
> [@polar\_bear](#): > > Always funny how people that “never had, nor had a desire to” try something, seem to have a very specific view on how it is. Isn’t it? Especially when it comes to things where they feel that they have a moral high ground. Drugs, prostitution. “I have zero practical experience with this bad thing! And precisely because of that, I am supremely qualified to speak about it!” People, first walk a mile in a man’s moccasins, and \*then \*maybe you can talk about how his blisters feel. As for the OP, I have an answer. But I have learned not to share too much on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2015, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/59 "2015-08-19T17:32:48Z")
> [@polar\_bear](#): > > Always funny how people that “never had, nor had a desire to” try something, seem to have a very specific view on how it is. > [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Isn’t it? You’re right - there’s absolutely no way to draw inferences about things we haven’t directly experienced. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2015, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/60 "2015-08-19T23:56:44Z")
The “logic” in claiming whore sex is masturbation is all sorts of weird and would also, if you extrapolate things out, mean that a lot of even more unsavory stuff like rape or child molestation would also be masturbation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117.md?page=4)