# Is sex with a hooker "essentially masturbation"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 17, 2015, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117 "2015-08-17T21:26:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/61 "2015-08-20T00:03:29Z")
Besides, if sex with a hooker is just masturbation, it kind of removes the very problems with sex with hookers that would lead someone to call it just masturbation in the first place. If that makes any sense at all. I can masturbate all day, and not feel bad about it. (Not that I am. Heck, apparently, I’m at an age now where an erection is a rarer commodity than it used to be, and I’m not wasting one on just anything, as it might be a while until the next one. But anyway.) Masturbation is an innocent activity that doesn’t hurt anyone, at least not if you do it right. If I have sex with hookers all day, I should probably look myself in the mirror and ask myself some questions. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/62 "2015-08-20T11:01:17Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > If I have sex with hookers all day, I should probably look myself in the mirror and ask myself some questions. “OK smarty pants, how are ya topping this tomorrow?” ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/63 "2015-08-20T12:21:38Z")
It’s a metaphor, goodness. Nobody is saying “sex with a hooker is exactly like masturbation in every way.” It’s more like “sex with a hooker, while often pleasant and satisfying, ultimately is a little too self-focused to be as satisfying and meaningful as a sexual experience with a partner that’s as in to it as you are.” ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/64 "2015-08-20T13:50:56Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > It’s a metaphor, goodness. > > Nobody is saying “sex with a hooker is exactly like masturbation in every way.” > > It’s more like “sex with a hooker, while often pleasant and satisfying, ultimately is a little too self-focused to be as satisfying and meaningful as a sexual experience with a partner that’s as in to it as you are.” I agree it’s a figure of speech, but it doesn’t really work as a metaphor when the two things are so closely related. I’d call it “an exaggeration for effect.” ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/65 "2015-08-20T13:53:34Z")
If it works one way, it should work the other way, too, right? Let’s try : “Masturbation is essentially like sex with a hooker”. No, that doesn’t work at all. Because it isn’t. Q.E.D. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/66 "2015-08-20T16:42:17Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > It’s a metaphor, goodness. > > Nobody is saying “sex with a hooker is exactly like masturbation in every way.” > > It’s more like “sex with a hooker, while often pleasant and satisfying, ultimately is a little too self-focused to be as satisfying and meaningful as a sexual experience with a partner that’s as in to it as you are.” Might want to look up ‘essentially’: if two things are _essentially_ the same, they’re not _exactly_ the same, but they’re pretty damn close, and they don’t differ appreciably in any important way. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/67 "2015-08-20T16:48:40Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > If it works one way, it should work the other way, too, right? > > Let’s try : “Masturbation is essentially like sex with a hooker”. > > No, that doesn’t work at all. Because it isn’t. > > Q.E.D. Why not? It’s an odd comparison because you end up emphasizing an uncommon experience to a nearly universal one, so it comes out sounding more like “riding a bike is like riding a unicycle” than like “riding a unicycle is like riding a bike.” But I’d argue that if you are on a budget or in an area where prostitution is illegal, masturbation is an excellent alternative to going to a hooker. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/68 "2017-10-30T05:37:37Z")
> [@polar\_bear](#): > > Always funny how people that “never had, nor had a desire to” try something, seem to have a very specific view on how it is. > > As with anything in life, there is no such thing as a “prositute visit”, ymmv on about 298 different variables. I actually booked a meeting with an escort a couple weeks ago. I was in England where it’s legal: I wouldn’t do it here in America, since it isn’t. Partly because I wanted to see what it was like, and partly because I strongly disagree with the current trend of describing all sex work as inherently exploitative. Besides the actual sex & making out, we spent most of the time drinking wine, talking about her career goals and what got her into escorting (she really wanted to move to New Zealand b/c she’d heard it was the best country to work as an escort), about my life, and about the immigration crisis in Europe (she was a bit more liberal than me on the issue, but still pretty conservative). Sounds pretty far from “essentially jerking off” to me. Semi off topic, but for what it’s worth, sex workers actually have surprisingly high job satisfaction (at least, surprising to me). Ronald Weitzer has published some review papers on the topic citing data from Australia, but there are also published studies from Switzerland, New Zealand, and England which arrive at the same conclusion. I think a lot of people’s vision of sex work is either based on 1) the most miserable possible slice of it, i.e. people who are trafficked or sell sex on street corners, or else 2) their intuition that they themselves wouldn’t like to sell sex. Neither of those is a very good guide to reality, especially the second, and the literature I’ve been able to find leads to a different conclusion. ---
**Author:** ![Annoying\_Buzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Annoying\_Buzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annoying_Buzz)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/69 "2017-10-30T05:48:57Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Anyone who thinks sex with another person is the same as masturbation really needs to try sex with another person. I would disagree. Anyone who thinks sex with another person is the same as masturbation should stick with masturbation, for everyone else’s sake. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/70 "2017-10-30T10:23:13Z")
Anyone who says sex with a hooker is the same as masturbation is trying to explain things to a significant other. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/71 "2017-10-30T14:50:03Z")
Anyone heard from **Skald** lately? How’s he doing? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/72 "2017-10-30T15:00:20Z")
> [@Hector\_St\_Clare](#): > > … > > Sounds pretty far from “essentially jerking off” to me. > > … More expensive too. Plus putting your junk where who knows who (or what) has done who knows what before you visited. You really trust a 0.070mm thick piece of latex to protect you from cock rot? ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/73 "2017-10-30T15:44:47Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > More expensive too. Plus putting your junk where who knows who (or what) has done who knows what before you visited. You really trust a 0.070mm thick piece of latex to protect you from cock rot? So you only have sex with verified virgins? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/74 "2017-10-30T15:48:11Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > Anyone heard from **Skald** lately? How’s he doing? This struck me as such a non-sequitur, until I realized who started the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/75 "2017-10-30T16:21:12Z")
> [@Hector\_St\_Clare](#): > > Besides the actual sex & making out, we spent most of the time drinking wine, talking about her career goals and what got her into escorting (she really wanted to move to New Zealand b/c she’d heard it was the best country to work as an escort), about my life, and about the immigration crisis in Europe (she was a bit more liberal than me on the issue, but still pretty conservative). Her version of the story: I had this john and all he wanted to do was talk about immigration, like I cared. Oh and he asked me about my job. That’s all these losers want to talk about. It’s like they think they’re being sympathetic or something, trying to get to “know” me, like I’m their girlfriend or something. These guys, they’re all the same - they pay money to fuck, and spend the whole time talking. Easy money, I say. I just nod and pretend I find it all so fascinating. THIS would be why I think the “just like masturbation” sentiment isn’t entirely hooey. You think these women like you? That they care? Wake up - it’s all play acting. And the best ones are very good. There is no “connection” with them. They’re just doing a job. (If you’re cool with that, then fine.) They can’t afford to get emotionally invested with every client. Sincerity - if you can fake that, you’re set. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2017, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/76 "2017-10-31T00:15:21Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > Anyone who says sex with a hooker is the same as masturbation is trying to explain things to a significant other. I think this is at the root of things, yes. One could phrase the question differently: Is sex with a sex worker cheating? With the exception of folks who have given permission for such things, I would say that most people would call this cheating, whereas most people would not say this about self-love. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2017, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/77 "2017-10-31T00:35:48Z")
Never saw this thread before., Fisrt reaction: Is sex “masturbation” if it is for any other purpose than going forth and multiplying? ---
**Author:** ![Weisshund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba8739/32.png) [@Weisshund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weisshund)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2017, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/78 "2017-10-31T00:52:33Z")
Why does the poll not allow you to pick an answer that actually addresses the question? Sex with a hooker is, sex with a hooker ---
**Author:** ![Mixolydian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@Mixolydian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mixolydian)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2017, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/79 "2017-11-01T20:27:01Z")
Not according to my wife it’s not. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2017, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117/80 "2017-11-01T20:55:32Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > Anyone heard from **Skald** lately? How’s he doing? [And…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=840530) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-with-a-hooker-essentially-masturbation/728117.md?page=5)