# Is sex worth it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 6, 2020, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168 "2020-04-06T03:43:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![a\_ant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ec9cab/32.png) [@a\_ant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a_ant)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/61 "2020-04-08T20:02:20Z")
Some people really don’t care for sex that much. I do not relate, but it is true. Someone close to me had no interest in sex until she met the man who became her husband, and has always enjoyed it with him. Some people never have any interest. I was once with a woman for whom sex didn’t feel like anything more than skin touching. Personally, I have always had a higher than normal sex drive and it was always a matter of time before I jumped in the sack with someone as a young man. So, I would say if you’re not missing out then you’re not missing out. Meaning don’t feel like you should try it out just because you haven’t tried it out. Sex truly is a different thing for everyone. Take your time. ---
**Author:** ![Mallard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Mallard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mallard)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/62 "2020-04-09T01:59:36Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > The proper analogy is sex is like pizza. When it’s good it’s great. When it’s bad it’s still pretty good. > > I’ll be here all week, tip your wait staff. When you’re young, sex is like pizza, it’s always good. When you’re old sex is still like pizza, you only have it once in a while and when you do you have to pay for it. :o ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/63 "2020-04-09T02:04:43Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > 45 dollars? That’s what the spam mail I get offers for it… Aw, come on! All these posts and still no “$10, same as in town”? ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/64 "2020-04-09T02:14:41Z")
Actually I can relate to both sides on this. I was a bit of a late starter, and I was about as far from the stereotype of “losing virginity and doing cartwheels” as you can get. I was kind of squicked out by it, and then later, due to still being hopeless at talking to girls, it was difficult to get excited about the possibility of sex. It seemed like a heck of a lot of effort to get back to that “squicky” situation. Then I got much better at getting such opportunities, and, one would hope, better at sex. And now I’m like most folk, where even to go without sex for a couple weeks can be unbearable. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/65 "2020-04-09T03:26:37Z")
> [@Tatterdemalion](#): > > Was there a hen involved? No but there is a henway. ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/66 "2020-04-09T04:36:11Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > No but there is a henway. And a greek urn? ---
**Author:** ![toefungus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b487fb/32.png) [@toefungus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toefungus)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/67 "2020-04-09T09:52:24Z")
> [@aaronhernandez](#): > > My question is, is it as mind shattering as some people claim? No. …and that’s completely the wrong way to approach the subject. The actual “sex” part is only a small percentage of the “being really intimate with another person” part. Unfortunately most people can’t separate the two. If you’re not ready to be _that_ intimate with another person yet then don’t worry about the physical act in itself, it’s just a distraction. Life is complicated enough without obsessing over that. ---
**Author:** ![GoodOmens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@GoodOmens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GoodOmens)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/68 "2020-04-09T12:56:10Z")
> [@Sangahyando](#): > > Or – opinion at least attributed to another English man of letters, Evelyn Waugh: “I don’t understand why people make such a fuss about sex; I’d rather have to go to the dentist, any day.” Mind you, though, Waugh was (1) a devout Catholic, (2) misanthropic, and (3) weird. Up until this very moment I always assumed Evelyn Waugh was a woman. This is primarily because literally the only thing I knew about Evelyn Waugh is his name. ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/69 "2020-04-09T13:01:55Z")
> [@GoodOmens](#): > > Up until this very moment I always assumed Evelyn Waugh was a woman. This is primarily because literally the only thing I knew about Evelyn Waugh is his name. That’s “misanthropic”, not “misogynistic” 🙂 He _was_ a man, though, “the nastiest-tempered man in England.” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/70 "2020-04-09T13:03:07Z")
His parents named him Arthur Evelyn St. John Waugh, so naturally he went by Evelyn. ---
**Author:** ![aaronhernandez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@aaronhernandez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aaronhernandez)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/71 "2020-04-09T13:07:03Z")
> [@toefungus](#): > > No. > > …and that’s completely the wrong way to approach the subject. The actual “sex” part is only a small percentage of the “being really intimate with another person” part. Unfortunately most people can’t separate the two. > > If you’re not ready to be _that_ intimate with another person yet then don’t worry about the physical act in itself, it’s just a distraction. Life is complicated enough without obsessing over that. I kind of get what you mean. It’s the connection and bonding with the other person that the sex is supposed to enhance. That’s why people say sex with someone you know is more euphoric than a random stranger. Would you say it changes someone? ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/72 "2020-04-09T13:07:41Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > His parents named him Arthur Evelyn St. John Waugh, so naturally he went by Evelyn. He didn’t want anybody confusing him and his wife. ---
**Author:** ![aaronhernandez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@aaronhernandez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aaronhernandez)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/73 "2020-04-09T13:08:59Z")
> [@a\_ant](#): > > Some people really don’t care for sex that much. I do not relate, but it is true. Someone close to me had no interest in sex until she met the man who became her husband, and has always enjoyed it with him. Some people never have any interest. I was once with a woman for whom sex didn’t feel like anything more than skin touching. Personally, I have always had a higher than normal sex drive and it was always a matter of time before I jumped in the sack with someone as a young man. So, I would say if you’re not missing out then you’re not missing out. Meaning don’t feel like you should try it out just because you haven’t tried it out. > > Sex truly is a different thing for everyone. Take your time. It’s interesting that women are said to be more “asexual” than men. If you go to asexual communities, there’s a disproportionate amount of women to men. An asexual man is almost seen as oxymoronic, some believe it’s central to what a man is. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/74 "2020-04-09T14:22:27Z")
> [@Lucas\_Jackson](#): > > OP, do you masturbate? \You’re soaking in it!\ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/75 "2020-04-09T14:45:35Z")
The OP might find [this book](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/161054.Is_Sex_Necessary_or_Why_You_Feel_the_Way_You_Do) useful. ---
**Author:** ![MrLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f8ce5/32.png) [@MrLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrLee)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/76 "2020-04-11T13:27:29Z")
When you consider the extraordinary lengths some people - young men, especially - will go to for what is a fleetingly pleasurable physical sensation, some could reasonably conclude that sex is not worth “it” (if we consider _it_ to be the pre-requisite endeavours that enable/cause sexual encounters to take place). This arguably applies much more to young and single people, for whom the processes of seduction and selection arduously apply. For those in stable, sexually active relationships… not so much (as sex can happen with a lot less time, investment and effort). But sex isn’t just about the momentary hedonistic pleasure of the act, it’s also about the intimacy and validation of being seen as attractive (and, for men in particular, a kind of kudos/bragging rights/social currency). Add all of _that_ into the package, and sex becomes considerably more valuable. I have had horifically embarrassing, awkward and unpleasant sexual experiences in my life - I don’t subscribe to the notion that bad sex is better than no sex. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/77 "2020-04-11T14:10:37Z")
> [@MrLee](#): > > I have had horifically embarrassing, awkward and unpleasant sexual experiences in my life - I don’t subscribe to the notion that bad sex is better than no sex. [That’s what he said.](https://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/horse-sex-man-caught-tennessee/747685685/) ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2020, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/78 "2020-05-11T23:56:04Z")
> [@GreenWyvern](#): > > It certainly [wasn’t Johnson](https://quoteinvestigator.com/2017/04/16/pleasure/) who said that. They were riffing on a well-known theme: St Gregory: “Pleasure is momentary, but the punishment due is eternal” ---
**Author:** ![sunstone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunstone/32/3372_2.png) [@sunstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunstone)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168/79 "2020-05-12T02:27:27Z")
Sex is pretty much a required drive for me. Like getting water or oxygen, it is a need that exists and if there are no restraints, one that will be fulfilled. Yes, it can be delayed or ignored. But the drive doesn’t go away. Sex can be amazing. It can be Meh… Depends on me, my partner, health, age, medications, mutual expectations and so many other factors. But ultimately it is really a wonderful experience to share with a loved one. I don’t know of any other activity that connects me so closely to another person. So quality varies with what is going on in the relationship. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sex-worth-it/851168.md?page=3)