# Is she hitting on me? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 8, 2008, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477 "2008-04-08T16:59:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/21 "2008-04-08T19:33:23Z")
Well, you can always nonchalantly rub your clothed crotch against her hip “by accident” and see what happens. Note: An erect penis may be necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Sigene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sigene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigene)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/22 "2008-04-08T19:43:02Z")
This sounds sooo much like a friend of mine. He constantly calls me to tell me about some chick that was flirting with him. His Flirtdar is totally screwed up. “Did you see that girl that waited on me at the Hardee’s? She gave me a BIG smile when I gave her my order; I think she wants me.”\* I think you’re reading too much into it, unfortunately. Especially if you think this same behavior has happened before. Hell, my daughter is constantly brushing up against both me and my wife with her 42DDs. Annoys the piss out of both of us. \*actual real conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/23 "2008-04-08T20:01:27Z")
This is the best thread I’ve read in a while. These suggestions are great! Hell, why not just ask her out for a drink? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/24 "2008-04-08T20:05:47Z")
The next time she does this, pull away slightly. If she leans in again, she’s flirting. ---
**Author:** ![Dumbguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dumbguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dumbguy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/25 "2008-04-08T20:16:10Z")
I doubt you’ll figure out what she’s up to. Either take a shot or don’t, but you won’t unravel the mysteries of the female mind. Although I would tend to agree with Sigene. The best indicator of mutual attraction (in my experience) in conversation. The fact that you only mentioned her boobs and her smile suggests to me that there isn’t really anything going on between the two of you. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/26 "2008-04-08T20:24:34Z")
I am fairly well endowed and I wouldn’t notice right away if someone brushed up against my breasts or if I brushed up against someone else with them. Also, there are women who have genetic issues or have been in accidents that have caused them to lose feeling in their breasts. My roommate has this problem and I could come up behind her and grope her breasts and if she didn’t see me or hear me she wouldn’t know it was happening. A third option is that maybe she wears one of those wonderbras with the gel thingys in it to enhance her breasts. If she does she may not feel it if her tits caught fire until the flames burned through the silicone padding. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/27 "2008-04-08T20:27:16Z")
[QUOTE=pbbth] A third option is that maybe she wears one of those wonderbras with the gel thingys in it to enhance her breasts. If she does she may not feel it if her tits caught fire until the flames burned through the silicone padding. [/QUOTE] Hypothesis is nothing without experimentation. Ego, light her boobs on fire, see what happens. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/28 "2008-04-08T20:28:18Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] I would say it’s a flirt of some sort. Doesn’t matter. Don’t shit where you eat. [/QUOTE] Don’t fish off the company pier. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/29 "2008-04-08T20:29:36Z")
[QUOTE=ZipperJJ] What is her position at the company relative to you? [/QUOTE] :snerk: ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/30 "2008-04-08T20:34:04Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] :snerk: [/QUOTE] I think your screen name is the answer to all the OP’s questions. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/31 "2008-04-08T20:39:33Z")
Does she find reasons to talk with you that when you look back seem flimsy…or is it always with good reason? ---
**Author:** ![Renob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8c91f0/32.png) [@Renob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renob)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/32 "2008-04-08T20:40:17Z")
At a previous job there was an intern with a pretty good rack who had the habit of standing behind me when I was trying to show her something on the computer and pressing her boobs against the back of my head. She did that to some other guys in the office, too. She was merely a flirt, though, and I think enjoyed teasing the guys. So your situation may be the same. Or it may be different. But I don’t think there is a, pardon the pun, hard and fast rule about why women do certain things. Each one seems to have a mind of her own, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/33 "2008-04-08T20:40:25Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] I think your screen name is the answer to all the OP’s questions. [/QUOTE] But no more so than the OP’s. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/34 "2008-04-08T20:40:59Z")
[QUOTE=Gfactor] Don’t fish off the company pier. 😉 [/QUOTE] Don’t dip your pen in the company ink. This piece of advice is very annoying, because of the many attractive women at my work. Fortunately (?), they are married, so I know I don’t have a chance, and don;t have to worry about it. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/35 "2008-04-08T20:44:00Z")
It’s a good question. My initial reaction is along the lines of “don’t shit where you eat,” but I hear more and more people are meeting at work because they don’t have the time to hassle with finding dates outside it. Suppose she _is_ coming on by doing that. What does it say about her? I mean, shouldn’t people have a more extensive repertoire that doesn’t involve such flagrant behavior? Something a little less dramatic for starters, and build to the bolder moves? I wouldn’t go after her if you have any power over her evaluations etc. If you have any trusted colleagues (especially female ones) you might try triangulating on this. Ask them to observe and tell you what they see. Try conversation…see if she seems to be hanging on your every word. If you go for it and she screams harassment, it would be nice to have a female witness or two who can say she was throwing herself at you. BTW a counselor once told me that there are seductive types of women who will rub you up and down—and they’re in such denial they don’t even know they’re doing it. Any qualified therapists in here want to corroborate that? Unfortunately, they haven’t passed a law requiring them to be tattooed on the forehead for easy identification. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/36 "2008-04-08T20:46:53Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] But no more so than the OP’s. 🙂 [/QUOTE] I was actually thinking of his screen name as part of the question/dilemma. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/37 "2008-04-08T20:49:00Z")
[QUOTE=Renob] At a previous job there was an intern with a pretty good rack who had the habit of standing behind me when I was trying to show her something on the computer and pressing her boobs against the back of my head. She did that to some other guys in the office, too. She was merely a flirt, though, and I think enjoyed teasing the guys. So your situation may be the same. Or it may be different. But I don’t think there is a, pardon the pun, hard and fast rule about why women do certain things. Each one seems to have a mind of her own, dammit. [/QUOTE] Women are different from men. They are also different from other women. ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/38 "2008-04-08T20:53:35Z")
My guess is anyone brazen enough to flirt by pressing her breasts against you probably won’t hesitate to keep upping the ante until you get the message. Don’t do anything that sends a clear “not interested” signal, and wait and see if she does anything else in the same vein. If not, I’m guessing it’s incidental contact. This kind of reminds me of a girl I knew in college who I always thought was flirting with me, but I tend to be a bit dense about this sort of thing and I didn’t want to assume. Eventually, she started introducing me to people by saying “This is my friend Tim. I have a big crush on him but he hasn’t realized yet.” ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/39 "2008-04-08T22:01:26Z")
Is this a repeated pattern? Can you tell if she’s wearing pads? My gut says this is definite flirting. When she’s not laying her puppies on you, how does she interact? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477/40 "2008-04-08T22:35:47Z")
I disagree that women with big breasts would feel if they were brushing against something. I think as a general rule, larger breasts are less sensitive than smaller ones. I still think she’s probably flirting. I wouldn’t stand that close to anyone at work unless I was into them. And even then, I still wouldn’t. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-hitting-on-me/444477.md?page=3)