# Is She Trying To Kill Me? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 11, 2007, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420 "2007-07-11T21:06:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/1 "2007-07-11T21:06:05Z")
Yes, welcome to everyone’s favorite game show! (audience yells, on cue) Is She Trying To Kill Me? Yes, that’s right, your favorite show. Now, let’s get to today’s topic…salami! Yes, salami. It was in the freezer. The female birth giver pulled a brick-size bag of salami out of the packed freezer and noted that it was in the house for me to eat. She pointed out the date, written on the bag, which corresponds to roughly…last year! (audience groans collectively. an errant “Boo!” can be heard.) “It’s still good!”, she said. “I wrapped it up real good in that bag.” “So, what about freezer burn? It’s been in the freezer for a year!” “No, I wrapped it up real good. Here, I’ll make you some salami sandwiches.” (audience greets the last sentence with collective aural disapproval) So folks, I throw it to you. Is the female birth giver, the reason my immune system is ironclad, finally trying to kill me?? ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/2 "2007-07-11T21:14:09Z")
If it’s wrapped well and still frozen, it’s fine. Wrapped unwell so that there’s freezer burn, it’ll taste bad, but it won’t kill you. Really, as long as it’s frozen, it’s not gonna kill you. You’re being mean to your mother. Go say you’re sorry. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/3 "2007-07-11T21:16:32Z")
Listen to your mother – she always knows what’s best for you. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/4 "2007-07-11T21:18:49Z")
This is the same woman who will buy meat the day it expires (at half price) and leave it in the shopping bag on the floor for a day before she remembers to put it in the fridge. Then she’ll pass it off as fine the next day for dinner. I’ve gotta be on top of my game…either that or I’m tougher than Rasputin. I’m just praying there are no weird after effects. _shoulder twitches a couple times_ ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/5 "2007-07-11T21:22:38Z")
I told you not to tell her you listed her as ‘beneficiary’ on your company life insurance policy. But did you listen? Noooooo… ---
**Author:** ![percypercy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8baadc/32.png) [@percypercy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/percypercy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/6 "2007-07-11T21:29:20Z")
Freezer burn doesn’t taste so good, but it’s perfectly safe to eat. If the salami was in the freezer the whole year, it won’t kill you. Or if you’re not happy with what your mother gave you, find something else to eat. And then apologize. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/7 "2007-07-11T21:30:42Z")
Meh. People used to sail halfway around the world eating unrefrigerated salted meat from five or ten year old barrels. You’re eating a highly preserved product that’s been in the freezer. No bacterial action to speak of (except maybe for the occasional freezer defrost cycle). I think all you’d have to worry about would be an off-taste or two. Heck, half the food you eat is probably almost a year old. That apple? From last fall. That jar of peanut butter? Expires in Jul '08. Year-old hamburger, I’d be somewhat more dubious about. But it still wouldn’t kill you. ---
**Author:** ![Most\_Creative\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Most\_Creative\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Most_Creative_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/8 "2007-07-11T21:31:03Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] This is the same woman who will buy meat the day it expires (at half price) and leave it in the shopping bag on the floor for a day before she remembers to put it in the fridge. Then she’ll pass it off as fine the next day for dinner. [/QUOTE] Now that is disgusting and wrong. About the salami. Personally I think a year is cutting it too close. But if it truly was wrapped up really good, and not freezer burnt, color was good, smell was fine, then you should be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/9 "2007-07-11T21:53:45Z")
Damn it. I think **MCUNE** should ask for a name change. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/10 "2007-07-12T01:09:55Z")
“Female birth giver”? No wonder she slipped you the salami. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/11 "2007-07-12T04:49:37Z")
We’re working on the frozen blueberries from the 2000 crop right now…and we’re all perfectly healthy. A year? And salami, which comes with preservatives no extra charge? Child’s play. Eat well. ---
**Author:** ![Ms.Pumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@Ms.Pumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms.Pumpkin)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/12 "2007-07-12T05:37:24Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] This is the same woman who will buy meat the day it expires (at half price) and leave it in the shopping bag on the floor for a day before she remembers to put it in the fridge. Then she’ll pass it off as fine the next day for dinner. [/QUOTE] Oh…my… Based on that alone, I’m voting for yes, she’s trying to kill you. [sub]ick. ick. ickickick.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/13 "2007-07-12T09:45:01Z")
[sup]ahem…[/sup] As I’ve had to point out numerous times to my beloved wife; **the expiration date is not the last day that it could possibly still be good** –it is the earliest possible date it might go bad, **minus a significant margin for extra safety.** Your safety? No. The producer’s safety from lawsuits? Yes. Your Mom isn’t trying to kill you any more than I’m trying to kill Mrs. Mann (despite her infuriating practice of freezing stuff that should be in the fridge and refrigerating many things that last longer at room temp.) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/14 "2007-07-12T10:09:39Z")
Hell, beef for a start is more tender and sweet when it’s just starting to think about decomposing. Fresh-killed beef is hardly worth eating. Just boil or sear the hell out of any microorganisms on its surface and you’re ready to rock and roll. As for frozen salami, what they said. It should keep by itself in a cool cave for bloody ages, never mind freezing. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/15 "2007-07-12T11:21:56Z")
> [@](#): > > This is the same woman who will buy meat the day it expires (at half price) and leave it in the shopping bag on the floor for a day before she remembers to put it in the fridge. Then she’ll pass it off as fine the next day for dinner. For a brief period of time, I worked part-time in the meat department of a major chain supermarket; I have seen meat that was at or very close to its expiration date repackaged with a new expiration date. The only test to determine safety was the sense of smell of the meat department supervisor. That practice disturbed me, especially when the subject was chicken. To be fair, the meat and chicken were always refrigerated and not left on the floor. IIRC, ground meat was never repackaged, or if it was, I never saw it done. So, I stopped worrying about it. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/16 "2007-07-12T11:29:18Z")
Dead man walking! ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/17 "2007-07-12T13:34:54Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] Hell, beef for a start is more tender and sweet when it’s just starting to think about decomposing. Fresh-killed beef is hardly worth eating. Just boil or sear the hell out of any microorganisms on its surface and you’re ready to rock and roll. As for frozen salami, what they said. It should keep by itself in a cool cave for bloody ages, never mind freezing. [/QUOTE] I knew some people who lived in Pakistan for several years as missionaries. They were back in town on furlough, and were telling us about how their meat was **always** tough and had to be slow cooked. I asked them about how they got it. The process was 1. arrange for an animal to be killed. 2. be there as it was killed 3. take meat home, butcher and freeze before it got warm :smack: You see, dead animals go through rigor mortis as the ATP in muscle cells get used up. If you freeze the meat immediately, this process changes, and causes muscle to shrink (this is called _cold shortening_). You need to hang the meat until (at least) rigor passes before freezing. You may want to age it longer for taste. Modern slaughterhouses use electrical stimulation on the carcass to use up ATP and reduce hanging time. So quick freezing in an attempt to prevent the meat going off was actually making it tough. Oops. Si ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/18 "2007-07-12T13:48:11Z")
The worst risk you run from a salami that’s been in the freezer for a year is someone beating you to death with it. That shit would hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/19 "2007-07-12T14:27:10Z")
I’ve found with the odd freebie pheasant (friends or neighbours who shoot, plus the very occasional roadkill if it’s in excellent condition) there’s quite a fine line to tread with hanging - too soon and it’s tough and bland, too late and it stinks to high heaven when it’s cleaned. But I’ve never had one taste bad, far less make me ill. (Anyone remember the pheasant story in _Shogun_?) ---
**Author:** ![Flea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d78d45/32.png) [@Flea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flea)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2007, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420/20 "2007-07-12T14:36:25Z")
[This milk is expired when I say it is.](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34102) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-she-trying-to-kill-me/411420.md?page=2)