# Is someone trying to tell me something? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 22, 1999, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473 "1999-11-22T19:24:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/1 "1999-11-22T19:24:00Z")
I received this anonymously… any opinions on what it says ohh experts in the love field? It was a column in Ann Landers is all I know. LOVE OR INFATUATION? Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another. Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows - one day at a time. Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream. Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his/her presence, even when s/he is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him/her nearer. But near or far, you know s/he is yours and you can wait. Infatuation says, “We must get married right away. I can’t risk losing him/her.” Love says, “Be patient. Don’t panic. Plan your future with confidence.” Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you will admit it is difficult to be in one another’s company unless you are sure it will end in intimacy. Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers. Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. S/he feels that trust, and it makes him even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you’ll regret later, but love will never. Tell me what you think? * * * “Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good things.” --Edgar Degas ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/2 "1999-11-22T19:57:00Z")
I think people shouldnt send things anonymously. If they have something to say… then they should just say it. * * * I am me… accept it or not. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/3 "1999-11-22T20:00:00Z")
Well, as someone who has no idea what love is, it sure ain’t ME telling you anything… * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/4 "1999-11-22T20:07:00Z")
It’s not the anonymous part that interests me. I read it and it seemed to make some sense, and then I asked myself. What is the person who wrote it really saying? Is this what real LOVE is? And what qualifies the person who wrote it to make those assumptions? I was hoping for a few opinions of my fellow dopers. * * * “Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good things.” --Edgar Degas ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/5 "1999-11-22T21:32:00Z")
This was high school, but it is the closest I’ve come to trying to define love. She She doesn’t have the beauty of a sunset, But for warmth I’d rather her than any fire. She doesn’t have the purity of an angel, But her voice equals any heavenly choir. She may not have the genius of an artist, But she more that makes up for with her charm. She may not have the strength of the lioness, But she knows I’ll protect against any harm. She may not have the perfection of my dreams, But my love is truly far more than she seems. -KS * * * [http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com) The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/6 "1999-11-22T21:39:00Z")
**MadPoet** ’s high school poem, continued: [fake quote] And she’s uglier than Hell, so I know she’ll never leave. [/fake quote] Gimme a break, **MadPoet**. A _ **LOVE** _ poem from a guy who says this? > [@](#): > > Show me a faithful woman and I’ll show you an unattractive woman. In [http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/002636.html,](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/002636.html,) for anyone who cares. * * * Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, dogs are from Pluto. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/7 "1999-11-22T21:41:00Z")
Sheeeyite! Try this one instead: [http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/002636.html](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/002636.html) ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/8 "1999-11-22T22:10:00Z")
Canthearya pulls up at the three-point line and fires over her defender, Mad Poet…and nothin’ but the bottom of the net. That was a _clutch_ shot, Cant. * * * Then he said, “That is that.” And then he was gone. -Dr. Seuss, \* The Cat in the Hat\* ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/9 "1999-11-22T22:17:00Z")
clutch shot = good? **Flypbaby** I know a bit about b-ball, but don’t recognize that term. I didn’t mean to get mean, but _man_ it pissed me off when he said that. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/10 "1999-11-22T22:19:00Z")
And, in the tradition of all marquee NBA players: \BOOYAH!\ ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/11 "1999-11-22T22:21:00Z")
> [@](#): > > If they have something to say… then they should just say it. I think they should say it, but not spray it. ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/12 "1999-11-22T22:24:00Z")
Cant-clutch shots are one that make or break a game. If you sink a three pointer in a tie game with 3 seconds left, you’ve made a clutch shot. Loosely applied, it’s any really nice shot. Also goes for hockey. * * * Then he said, “That is that.” And then he was gone. -Dr. Seuss, \* The Cat in the Hat\* ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/13 "1999-11-22T22:28:00Z")
::cursteying to the **FlypyOne** :: I thank you for the compliment, kind sir. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/14 "1999-11-23T02:55:00Z")
Back to the OP: PCW: I think that anyone who has felt all of those emotions knows what the author was saying in that passage. I have felt infatuation many times and I was definately insecure each time. When I was engaged before, I was practically running down the aisle! I believe the author was saying that love is something deeper that gives us peace, not worry. Now that I’ve met the man of my dreams, I’m no longer afraid of losing him. I feel a calm that I’ve never felt before in my life. We’re getting married next Sept, but I was in no particular hurry this time. ## BTW, that passage is so beautiful, I’m going to use it as a reading in my wedding! Thanks, Purple! 🙂 “There comes a time in a man’s life when he asks himself, 'Who will float my corpse down the Ghanges?” – Apu ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/15 "1999-11-23T03:00:00Z")
::tiptoes back in:: Don’t mind me–I just realized I spelled Ganges with an ‘H’. DUH! Is this better? ::tiptoes away:: * * * “There comes a time in a man’s life when he asks himself, 'Who will float my corpse down the Ganges?” – Apu ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/16 "1999-11-23T03:47:00Z")
I know what Ann Landers was getting at. I’ve had that quote for years. It is true. When you love someone, no matter the distance, you always feel a connection to them. It’s very hard to explain. Maybe it’s the quietly increasing Visa bill or the way the laundry pile never dips below the one more load and your done mark. Love is a stealthy thing 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MrKnowItAll](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrknowitall/32/87_2.png) [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/17 "1999-11-23T04:37:00Z")
You want a good definition of love? Dust off your Bibles and check out I Corinthians chapter 13. Possibly the only truly inspired thing the apostle Paul ever wrote. ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Hall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ebca7d/32.png) [@Rich\_Hall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Hall)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/18 "1999-11-23T04:47:00Z")
Love is like a stomach ache. You’ll get over it. ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/19 "1999-11-23T13:41:00Z")
Knew I shouldn’t have left for the day right after writing that. What I was trying to say in the poem, is that love isn’t about finding the perfect person, but rather finding the pefect person for you. I picture several rocks with jagged edges… most pairs of rocks are not going to fit together very well. But if two rocks that fit very closely are found they can settle together, and eventually the edges will rub down and they will fit together perfectly. The rubbing down, is of course the fun part. The girl I wrote the poem about wasn’t the most beautiful girl in the world, nor the smartest… but I adored her features, and we shared so many interests that when we were together we never lacked for something to talk about. Too bad it was high school, so she wound up cheating on me three times and breaking up with me in about the bost painful and evil way I can think of at the moment. My comment about faithful=unattractive was meant in a physical sense, and was just me being angry and bitter. All the physically attractive girls I know (especially the ones I’ve dated) cheat. A lot. I don’t blame them, if I got as much attention for nothing more than having a pretty smile as one of them I’d be hard pressed to settle for just one lover as well. * * * [http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com) The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473/20 "1999-11-23T14:00:00Z")
PCW, I’m a little intrigued over the “received this anonymously” thing. Are you involved with someone and running off to get married? If not, that seems like a strange thing to send someone anonymously. The question posed in the OP and the thread title is “Is someone trying to tell me something”. I would say that they probobly are. ## Re: the passage. I agree with some of it, but after 6 years together, my husband and I still have an element of “sexual excitment”, and our “glands still call to one another”. The passage also says “Love is the maturation of friendship”. That was not the case for us- we started out as an “infatuation”- pretty much a sexual thing, and found quickly that we had fallen completely in love. From there things have progressed into marriage- I"m glad I didn’t give up on my “infatuation”. [Click here for some GOOD news for a change](http://www.binghamtonpress.com/binghamtonnews/local/Sanews5.html) [Zettecity](http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/index.html) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-someone-trying-to-tell-me-something/11473.md?page=2)