# Is "Sorry, no" an impolite answer? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 9, 2012, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sorry-no-an-impolite-answer/631012 "2012-08-09T23:04:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sorry-no-an-impolite-answer/631012/121 "2012-08-13T20:07:35Z")
Re-ordered > [@BigT](#): > > means you’ve already labeled the person to be an entitled person, and thus are deliberately not giving them because of that. Or, worse, you’re the type of impolite person who never does anything for anyone unless it is required. > > It doesn’t matter that you aren’t entitled to an explanation. Giving one is the polite thing to do. Not giving one is the entitled position: “It doesn’t matter that doing this might make our interactions smoother and make the other person happy. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do. In fact, fuck them for even daring to ask.” > > Calling them entitled is just deflection and possibly projection I’ll start with these. Simply put, these comments have nothing to do with any of my posts. > [@](#): > > Yes, they do. No they don’t. You have no moral obligation to answer a stranger’s questions at all, certainly not matters of personal information. It would be rude of them to ask, and if politeness dictates an explanation for an implied request then a polite response need not have a truthful basis. I’m not advocating telling them a substantial lie, but if you have to provide an explanation and it’s a matter you don’t want to discuss you can say something innocuous even if technically untrue. There are plenty of other circumstances where you have no moral obligation to provide a truthful answer to a question and may even lie with being immoral. Having said that, I’ll add that truthfulness is always preferred where no harm is done. > [@](#): > > True, but the context of the usage still makes it a lie, not because you aren’t sorry, but because you aren’t intending to be polite. When you are intending to be polite, this idea: That is absurd because the very context of using the word sorry is to be polite. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sorry-no-an-impolite-answer/631012/122 "2012-08-13T20:13:15Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > You have no moral obligation to answer a stranger’s questions at all, certainly not matters of personal information. “Moral obligation” is not the standard for politeness. > [@](#): > > That is absurd because the very context of using the word sorry is to be polite. It’s not always sufficient. Depending on the context, it might not be enough to get you to “polite.” ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sorry-no-an-impolite-answer/631012/123 "2012-08-13T20:14:11Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > [snip] > > If the question is “is Sorry, no” an impolite answer" - no it isn’t. If the question is is “Sorry, no” perceived as an impolite answer - the answer is yes, often it is. But it is inappropriate to expect anything other than “sorry, no.” If an action is often perceived as impolite then it _is_ impolite. It is the real-life reactions of real people that make actions polite or impolite, not rules written down in a book. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sorry-no-an-impolite-answer/631012/124 "2012-08-13T21:00:55Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > “Moral obligation” is not the standard for politeness. Correct. I didn’t say it was. It is the standard for morality though. There’s a difference between being rude and immoral. And simply being moral doesn’t make one polite either. > [@](#): > > It’s not always sufficient. Depending on the context, it might not be enough to get you to “polite.” I’m learning people regard it that way more than I previously thought. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sorry-no-an-impolite-answer/631012/125 "2012-08-13T21:03:47Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > If an action is often perceived as impolite then it _is_ impolite. It is the real-life reactions of real people that make actions polite or impolite, not rules written down in a book. That’s true enough. But if you read this thread there’s no consensus on this subject, so what is often enough to make something impolite? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sorry-no-an-impolite-answer/631012/126 "2012-08-13T22:05:43Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > That’s true enough. But if you read this thread there’s no consensus on this subject, so what is often enough to make something impolite? If you had wanted to compiled more precise statistics, you could have made this thread into a poll. More often than not, people have said “sorry, no” _can_ be impolite, given the context. The fact that you have said yourself that you wouldn’t say “sorry, no” shows that you have some understanding about why it can be seen as a curt response. In other words, you know the answer to your question. It seems kind of trolly of you to keep posting as if you don’t. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sorry-no-an-impolite-answer/631012/127 "2012-08-13T22:17:04Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > If you had wanted to compiled more precise statistics, you could have made this thread into a poll. > > More often than not, people have said “sorry, no” _can_ be impolite, given the context. The fact that you have said yourself that you wouldn’t say “sorry, no” shows that you have some understanding about why it can be seen as a curt response. > > In other words, you know the answer to your question. It seems kind of trolly of you to keep posting as if you don’t. I didn’t make a poll because: A. I’m lazy B. The result of polls like these are inconclusive and meaningless C. I’m more interested in peoples comments. It’s easy to tell if there’s only a couple of outliers or there’s a split in opinions. I asked a specific question: Is “Sorry, no” impolite. That hasn’t been clearly answered because the standard for politeness isn’t agreed upon, and simple politeness is not the only standard for determining a wise course of action, and people still disagree on whether or not it is impolite. That’s why this is in IMHO. And I don’t see anything wrong with responding to specific posts on this subject either. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sorry-no-an-impolite-answer/631012/128 "2012-08-14T01:33:05Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > In other words, you know the answer to your question. It seems kind of trolly of you to keep posting as if you don’t. This. I keep getting the impression the OP wants some “consensus” that technically speaking “sorry, no” is “not impolite”. So, basically he wants his position in the OP to be technically “right”. I think this thread is mostly an echo chamber for socially clueless people. Rather than most of them going “darn, I never thought that would socially (statistically speaking) be considered rude” they hear “hey, some other socially clueless people agree with me so I must be right”. Not far removed from conspiracy theory logic if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sorry-no-an-impolite-answer/631012/129 "2012-08-14T01:54:11Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > This. I keep getting the impression the OP wants some “consensus” that technically speaking “sorry, no” is “not impolite”. So, basically he wants his position in the OP to be technically “right”. > > I think this thread is mostly an echo chamber for socially clueless people. Rather than most of them going “darn, I never thought that would socially (statistically speaking) be considered rude” they hear “hey, some other socially clueless people agree with me so I must be right”. > > Not far removed from conspiracy theory logic if you ask me. Do you have some inability to comprehend simple things? I want to know the answer to a question, and it hasn’t been clearly answered here, and I’m not the one who is desperately trying to prove himself right. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sorry-no-an-impolite-answer/631012/130 "2012-08-14T14:01:53Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > But if you read this thread there’s no consensus on this subject, so what is often enough to make something impolite? Sorry, no. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-sorry-no-an-impolite-answer/631012.md?page=6)