# Is Supergirl doomed to a life of only oral sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 27, 2015, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910 "2015-10-27T22:12:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/41 "2015-10-28T05:13:38Z")
Invulnerability. A super-strong but not invulnerable penis being pressed against a Kryptonian hymen is going to have a bad day. Best case scenario is a penile fracture, worst case is a hymen with some gaps in it and what we at the clinic refer to as the “spaghetti effect”. ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/42 "2015-10-28T05:25:32Z")
> [@3trew](#): > > Invulnerability. A super-strong but not invulnerable penis being pressed against a Kryptonian hymen is going to have a bad day. Best case scenario is a penile fracture, worst case is a hymen with some gaps in it and what we at the clinic refer to as the “spaghetti effect”. Spaghetti effect??? Pulls up chair and sits down. “Tell us more sir.” ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/43 "2015-10-28T05:33:51Z")
> [@3trew](#): > > Invulnerability. A super-strong but not invulnerable penis being pressed against a Kryptonian hymen is going to have a bad day. Best case scenario is a penile fracture, worst case is a hymen with some gaps in it and what we at the clinic refer to as the “spaghetti effect”. Is that related to Snow White Syndrome? what’s pink and has 7 little dents? Snow White’s Hymen ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/44 "2015-10-28T05:34:12Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/1D5PgxTrke0/hqdefault.jpg "My new IKEA Apple Cutter") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D5PgxTrke0) Skip to about 42 seconds in, and you’ll get the idea. In the official reports we call it an extrusion injury. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/45 "2015-10-28T05:44:32Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Her problems are going to be similar to the ones Larry Niven wrote about Superman in “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex”: [Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex](http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html) > > I think a kryptonite dildo should take care of her super-hymen. But the involuntary orgasmic spasms of her vagina on orgasm would probably squeeze any non-Kryptonian penis to jelly. There’s no cure for snu-snu. ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/46 "2015-10-28T05:56:08Z")
> [@3trew](#): > > Skip to about 42 seconds in, and you'll get the idea. In the official reports we call it an extrusion injury. Just so we’re clear on this: the apple is the penis? Hmmmmm, I think I’ll pass. ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/47 "2015-10-28T06:01:16Z")
It’s not that big of a deal when your boyfriend is a superhorse. No, I’m not being disgusting. I’m talking [canon](http://i0.wp.com/geekdad.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/action311-superhorse-love.jpg) here. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/48 "2015-10-28T06:45:00Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > No, I’m not being disgusting. I’m talking [canon](http://i0.wp.com/geekdad.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/action311-superhorse-love.jpg) here. Let’s be fair - you’re being canonically disgusting :D. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/49 "2015-10-28T06:47:43Z")
> [@The\_Tooth](#): > > There’s no cure for snu-snu. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised! ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/50 "2015-10-28T07:29:57Z")
I haven’t seen this new series, what exactly do they say regarding her “impenetrability”? And if she came to Earth at 13 how do you know she didn’t lose her hymen already? (if not from sex, maybe horseback riding or say, sitting on a washing machine?) ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/51 "2015-10-28T07:35:48Z")
:rolleyes: Silly Earthlings. Who says Kryptonians have hymens? > [@Tamerlane](#): > > Pish, tosh - what’s with all this squeamishness? 1rst cousin marriage is perfectly legal in a number of states :). > [@Acsenray](#): > > First cousins can marry in most places. However, Kal and Kara came from a Kryptonian culture that didn’t practice first-cousin marriage. I suspect this was introduced into canon specifically to sink that ship. As for the “Man of Kleenex” meme, I endorse Skald’s answer in post #11. > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Superman has lost his powers, including his invulnerability, due to psychosomatic factors at least once; and by all accounts, he and Lois had a vibrant sex life before the latest reboot, without her complaining that his skin felt like steel. From this I conclude that Kryptonian invulnerability can be deactivated subconsciously. If some hump like Libra was trying to rape Supergirl, he’d find her adamantium-like to the touch; if it were Brainiac 5, whom she thought groovy and WANTED to do, she’d be silky. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/52 "2015-10-28T14:17:14Z")
Basically she is a walking castration machine. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/53 "2015-10-28T14:59:15Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > However, Kal and Kara came from a Kryptonian culture that didn’t practice first-cousin marriage. I suspect this was introduced into canon specifically to sink that ship. Kal, at least, wasn’t raised in that culture. He is a product of a rural American upbringing. ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/54 "2015-10-28T15:29:09Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > :rolleyes: Silly Earthlings. Who says Kryptonians have hymens? Well, they seem (other than the whole super thing) to be pretty much indistinguishable from humans. There’s no reason to think the ladies wouldn’t have a hymen. It seems an odd place to start differing. Now that I think of it though, the Coneheads, as shown in the shower scene in the movie, didn’t have butt cracks. Given their eating of mass quantities this raises some interesting questions. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/55 "2015-10-28T15:33:51Z")
So… why can’t Supergirl use her own fingers to break her own hypothetical Kryptonian hymen while playing with herself? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/56 "2015-10-28T16:37:19Z")
Come to think of it, image performing oral sex to climax on Superman. Talk about sex giving me a headache! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/57 "2015-10-28T17:02:57Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > :rolleyes: Silly Earthlings. Who says Kryptonians have hymens? > > However, Kal and Kara came from a Kryptonian culture that didn’t practice first-cousin marriage. I suspect this was introduced into canon specifically to sink that ship. > > As for the “Man of Kleenex” meme, I endorse Skald’s answer in post #11. As I recall, the specific context was that the then fifteen-year-old Kara thought the mid-30s Kal needed a wife. Clearly despising both Lois Lana for some reason (\*\*Anaamika \*\*can explain why), she searched for an appropriate bride for her only living relative, and found a super-powered blonde who looked exactly like Kara herself, only a decade older. The commitment-phobic Man of Steel found an excuse not to wed UltraWoman or whatever the fuck her name was, and at the end of the story told Kara that if he were going to [marry anybody it would be her](http://i48.tinypic.com/24xe889.jpg), but since Kryptonians didn’t believe in that backwoods shit he was doomed to his unholy but unconsummated lust for that trust fund baby in the flying rat suit. Why Wonder Woma never chose to avail herself of Superman’s attentions suddnenly became clearer. Clark was into jailbat. Sick freak. ETA: Oh, and I ignored Lori Lemaris on purpose on account of her being a damn fish. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/58 "2015-10-28T18:27:10Z")
Superman just needs a super condom and he’s pretty much set. The involuntary muscular spasms only serve to push out ejaculate, and the super condom could contain them. Heck, depending on the continuity, it could be that a regular condom would work, just like Superman’s invulnerability force field goes around his clothes. The question would be whether the force field was bidirectional. That forcefield is also why Kryptonians are not hard as a rock. If it did, then Clark Kent would never be able to let anyone touch him, and would constantly look weird when his skin never moved. It seems that the response is fairly proportional. But that doesn’t deal with the involuntary muscle contractions of orgasm–but sex does not require going all the way. And I’m sure they could come up with some supertoys to add to the experience. There are women today who can’t orgasm with penile stimulation alone. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/59 "2015-10-29T02:29:24Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Basically she is a walking castration machine. Walking decapitation machine if you hit the mark providing oral. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2015, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910/60 "2015-10-31T03:53:08Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Superman just needs a super condom and he’s pretty much set. The involuntary muscular spasms only serve to push out ejaculate, and the super condom could contain them. Heck, depending on the continuity, it could be that a regular condom would work, just like Superman’s invulnerability force field goes around his clothes. The question would be whether the force field was bidirectional. > > That forcefield is also why Kryptonians are not hard as a rock. If it did, then Clark Kent would never be able to let anyone touch him, and would constantly look weird when his skin never moved. It seems that the response is fairly proportional. > > But that doesn’t deal with the involuntary muscle contractions of orgasm–but sex does not require going all the way. And I’m sure they could come up with some supertoys to add to the experience. There are women today who can’t orgasm with penile stimulation alone. IIRC that’s was Byrne’s concept. Is the “Kryptonian force field” now canon re Superman’s invulnerability? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-supergirl-doomed-to-a-life-of-only-oral-sex/735910.md?page=4)