# Is teaching your daughter racism? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [December 24, 2002, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776 "2002-12-24T22:05:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![verybdog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/49beb7/32.png) [@verybdog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verybdog)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/1 "2002-12-24T22:05:13Z")
The story goes: (A) a white father’s telling her daughter to study hard to be a lawyer and (B) a white father’s tell her daughter not to marry a Black. Some people here told me already that (B) is racist; I reasoned, if (B) is racist, then (A) must also be racist because first, the daughter may not want to be a lawyer but a hooker, secondly, the father is discriminating the profession of hookers by telling so. Please tell me I am wrong. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/2 "2002-12-24T22:06:38Z")
You’re wrong. One’s profession is independent of one’s race. Haj ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/3 "2002-12-24T22:14:52Z")
Again, you are equating marrying outside your race with prostitution. If you think your daughter marrying outside of her race is just as immoral/unacceptable/demeaning/detrimental as becoming a hooker, than you are teaching your daughter racist values. And since you asked nicely. Your wrong. Here’s a link to the thread this started in. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=152418](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=152418) ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/4 "2002-12-24T22:18:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by verybdog \* > \*\*The story goes: (A) a white father’s telling her daughter to study hard to be a lawyer and (B) a white father’s tell her daughter not to marry a Black. > > Some people here told me already that (B) is racist; I reasoned, if (B) is racist, then (A) must also be racist because first, the daughter may not want to be a lawyer but a hooker, secondly, the father is discriminating the profession of hookers by telling so. > > Please tell me I am wrong. \*\* You’re wrong. Happy? You’re wrong because it’s a completely false analogy. (B) is an issue of race. (A) does not involve race in the slightest. By using the label “racist” the issue of race must be in play. ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/5 "2002-12-24T22:21:18Z")
You’re wrong. The difference between the two is this: (A) You advise you’re daughter not to be a doctor. Fine. No one is forced to be a doctor and anyone who is a doctor is free to pick up and quit. They are doctors by choice. Same with any other profession. (B) Someone who is Black, is born that way, cannot help being that way (unless you’re Michael Jackson 🙂 ) and will die that way. They cannot pick up and quit being black, nor can someone choose to be black, if they are not. That’s why the latter is racist and the former isn’t. OK? Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![Hamish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Hamish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamish)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/6 "2002-12-24T23:00:20Z")
Well, I don’t want to add a “me too!” I also find it bizarre that you’d think of “prostitute” as a race. If your point was to start a debate on social prejudice against people in the much-maligned sex trade, there are better ways to have started the OP. > [@](#): > > _The OP’s location line:_ > > **Location: Houyhnhnms** Watch out for those Houyhnhnms. If I remember my\* Gulliver’s Travels\*, they tended to make enormous leaps of logic which discredited their arguments. ---
**Author:** ![verybdog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/49beb7/32.png) [@verybdog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verybdog)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/7 "2002-12-24T23:08:35Z")
That got me thinking: Why is a White grandfather prefering his grandchild to look like him a racist? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/8 "2002-12-24T23:19:22Z")
Why wouldn’t White grandfather’s kids look like him if his daughter married outside his race? Oh, that’s right. You seem to have some strange ideas about 'breeding stock" and genetics. ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/9 "2002-12-24T23:22:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by verybdog \* > \*\*That got me thinking: > > Why is a White grandfather prefering his grandchild to look like him a racist? \*\* It’s not. It’s may be slightly petty (more than slightly, if grampa holds it against the kid). If that’s his excuse for preferring his child marry within the race, then I’d say he’s lying, and has other issues with race. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/10 "2002-12-24T23:37:13Z")
**vbd:** _Why is a White grandfather prefering his grandchild to look like him a racist?_ What’s racist is to automatically assume that your grandchildren’s skin color is what determines whether they “look like you”. Your grandchildren can still look like you in lots of ways no matter what the color of their skin is: if the skin color is all that matters to you, you’re being racist. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/11 "2002-12-24T23:52:30Z")
[hijack] What is the b in the OP’s name? Bored? Barmy? Blithering idiot? [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/12 "2002-12-24T23:58:11Z")
**Moderator’s Note:** **Hamlet** , let’s leave the speculating on what the “b” stands for out of GD, please. ---
**Author:** ![verybdog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/49beb7/32.png) [@verybdog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verybdog)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2002, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/13 "2002-12-25T00:12:37Z")
Before continuing the discussion, I’d like to ask a question: Why my “edit” button doesn’t work? Is it a policy that once you have posted you can’t go back to make changes? (typos, grammars, etc.) I got this message when clicked on the “edit” button of my own posts within seconds after the posting: # ====================================== You do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons: You do not have permission to access the page that you were trying to. Are you trying to edit someone else’s post or trying to access administrative features? Check that you are allowed to perform this action in the Forum Rules. If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation. ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2002, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/14 "2002-12-25T00:19:03Z")
You cannot edit your own posts on the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2002, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/15 "2002-12-25T00:22:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by verybdog \* > Is it a policy that once you have posted you can’t go back to make changes? [Yes](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=103503). ---
**Author:** ![perspective](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f475e1/32.png) [@perspective](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perspective)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2002, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/16 "2002-12-25T00:22:47Z")
If A. a cat is a pet and B. a dog is a pet, then if the cat’s breath smells like cat food then obviously the dog’s must too. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2002, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/17 "2002-12-25T00:51:43Z")
> [@](#): > > Is teaching your daughter racism? Your question should have been - "Is teaching your daughter discrimination? [/quote] And even then - teaching and commanding are two entirely different things. “do not marry a black man” is not the passing on of knowledge/understanding (teaching) it is simply a command. ---
**Author:** ![localbrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2acd7d/32.png) [@localbrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/localbrew)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2002, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/18 "2002-12-25T01:10:10Z")
What was the topic again? Teach your daughter as you wish to be taught. Exactly what are you trying to do here? ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2002, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/19 "2002-12-25T01:32:01Z")
Well, it sounds to me, **verybdog** , that NEITHER of your examples is _“teaching”_ the daughter – or rather it only “teaches” her about her father’s personality. The father in both cases is just expressing to her his preference, which in case “a” (choice of career) is reasonable and practical and can be sustained with rational cost-benefit arguments, and in case “b” is not. It has been explained previously in this thread and in the other one where this question came from. Given the reality most of us live in, a strong presumption that the cause for Father’s preference in case “b” is racism is not farfetched; but, hey, who knows, maybe he’s not racist, maybe he’s just pathetically shallow about physical appearance. In any case, the fact remains that the daughter can upon reaching adulthood and going her own way – maybe going for a career as an aviation mechanic – tell dad she pities him for thinking that way. ---
**Author:** ![verybdog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/49beb7/32.png) [@verybdog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verybdog)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2002, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776/20 "2002-12-25T01:39:03Z")
The father does not deserve to be called ‘racist’. Consider the following conversation between father and daughter, see if you agree: Daughter: Daddy, when I grow up I want to have one boy, one girl. Dad: That’s wonderful, honey. I wish your baby girl is just as beautiful as you are - blonde hair, blue eyes, and a pretty nose. Would you promise me that? Daughter: Yes, Daddy, I promise. Daddy: (smile and hug her) I love you! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-teaching-your-daughter-racism/144776.md?page=2)