# "Is that your baby? My God, you guys are so young!" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 10, 2003, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663 "2003-09-10T02:04:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/141 "2003-09-12T17:04:38Z")
Please show me where I said it was representative? YOU are the one who said “Good, because you can actually find the women that fits that description I would love to know.” And so I did. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/142 "2003-09-12T18:09:04Z")
I used to get the same comment too! I was only 18 when my daughter was born. Like duh? I didn’t know I was young?!?! Doctors never took my concerns seriously because they thought I was too young of a mother to know what the heck I was talking about. It is rude and insensative and I would have snapped at the woman! ---
**Author:** ![burundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/143 "2003-09-12T21:28:33Z")
It doesn’t matter what you think about young parents; it is never appropriate to make that kind of comment about a stranger’s age. If you feel absolutely compelled to make remarks to strange parents, you should limit them to “What a beautiful baby.” I’m in my mid-20s, but I look younger. I’m the director of education at a museum. I’m always amazed that so many museum visitors have no qualms about asking my age. If I tell them, I frequently get comments such as, “Well, you don’t look old enough to be out of high school.” I’m always tempted to respnd with “Yeah, and you look ready to be in a Home, Grandma.” Why on earth do they think it’s appropriate to ask my age? I certainly don’t ask theirs. ---
**Author:** ![superstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@superstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/superstar)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/144 "2003-09-12T22:40:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lezlers \* > \*\ ***superstar** > > I don’t get your point. No one ever made the assertation that they didn’t know they could get pregnant from having sex. \*\* It was just all the talk of people getting pregnant by accident, or at least not expecting it at such a young age. And the shock of birth control methods not working. And I was simply saying that there should be no shock at 16 or 45years old, because we all know that what we are doing could result in babies. That’s all, in fact it’s been so long since I’ve posted I starting to wonder what the point was to. But it seemed important at the time??? ---
**Author:** ![frixxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@frixxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frixxxx)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/145 "2003-09-12T23:20:44Z")
**SanibelMan,** You and Natalie have a very rough road ahead of you, not because your young, but because your parents! First, Congratulations! Second, Good Luck! Third, usually when people say to _ **YOU** _ “you’re too young or inexperienced to do that” respond with something like, “You may be right, so be there when I need some answers or help” Turn the tables on them by showing that you acknowledged their concern or belief but show them you at least recognize that their is responsibility behind your youth. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/146 "2003-09-12T23:25:23Z")
Damn hamsters ate my last post. **Superstar** Of _course_ you’re going to be shocked when you get pregnant on the pill. The pill is what, 99.7% effective or something? It’s not like it’s the least bit likely it’ll happen. Are you shocked when you’re in a bad car accident, even though you’re driving carefully? Why? You should _expect_ it right? I mean, you’re _driving_ after all… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/147 "2003-09-12T23:33:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\* > Ok, Ok. What age _is_ too young to get married? seventeen? Sixteen? How about twelve? Yes, you’ve convinced me. We should encourage _all_ teenagers to get married in fucking middle school and start shitting babies before they’re fourteen. Of course teenage preganacy is a _wonderful_ thing. What the fuck was I thinking? :rolleyes: \*\* While I don’t like to agree with our cynical Greek friend I have to agree with him now. For the most part I don’t think 19 or 20 year old people are ready for marriage or childrearing. As with most things there’s always an exception. As for the comments about age I occasionally make them now and I’m only 27. I get weirded out when I meet an adult born in 1985 who never saw Star Wars. Marc ---
**Author:** ![superstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@superstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/superstar)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/148 "2003-09-12T23:38:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lezlers \* > \*\*Damn hamsters ate my last post. > > **Superstar** > > Of _course_ you’re going to be shocked when you get pregnant on the pill. The pill is what, 99.7% effective or something? It’s not like it’s the least bit likely it’ll happen. Are you shocked when you’re in a bad car accident, even though you’re driving carefully? Why? You should _expect_ it right? I mean, you’re _driving_ after all… > > :rolleyes: \*\* What? How did it come to this? ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/149 "2003-09-12T23:41:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pencilpusher \* > \*\*I’m putting MY baby in for cutest baby too lol [my baby boy](http://www.growthspurts.com/drivee/images/412603488583.jpg) \*\* Awwww what a cutie pie and that smile is simply heart melting. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/150 "2003-09-13T00:10:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by superstar \* > \*\*What? How did it come to this? \*\* You said people shouldn’t be suprised that they’re pregnant, even when using birth control right? Why shouldn’t they be? It’s not like the odds are against them. I’m just displaying how ridiculous your position is. For someone who doesn’t _want_ children, they’ll _never_ be ready for them. So if you’re saying that someone should wait until they’re ready for kids before they have sex, you’re essentially saying that those who don’t want children should never have sex. I told you that’s stupid. You then said you weren’t _saying_ that and that you were saying people shouldn’t be suprised when their birth control fails. I explained why _that_ theory is stupid as well. Still confused? ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/151 "2003-09-13T02:32:06Z")
**pencilpusher,** you may have a challenger there… he shows a lot of personality. He’s very cute. The bit about being older and pregnant resonates, too… Natalie’s mother got pregnant very unexpectedly after Natalie did, and Michael now has an uncle who’s younger than him. What’s annoying is how amazingly surprised people are by this and how they go on. I mean, it’s one thing to say “Wow, that’s really something,” but the nurse at the maternity ward where her mom was giving birth went on and on. “Wow, that’s really weird! That’s, like, Jerry Springer or something!” She ran down the hall to the nurses’ station and repeated the story. Nice and tactful, that one. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/152 "2003-09-13T07:21:24Z")
My oldest brother is 10–that’s 21 years younger than me. I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters. My youngest sister is 3. My son is almost 8. It’s pretty weird. ---
**Author:** ![AfterAugust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AfterAugust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AfterAugust)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/153 "2003-09-13T08:16:19Z")
I’m 19, and I can’t even imagine having a baby right now. I have too many things I want to do first - like earn a decent living, enough to where when I have a baby, I won’t have any doubts in whether or not I can properly support it. I also don’t feel that I am emotionally ready for motherhood…not even close. This is why I take birth control, and when having sex - the boyfriend wears a condom. I know it’s not 100% perfect…but we do are best. I don’t like to judge people by their age when it comes to having children - it’s usually by the circumstances. However, I do think the teenage years are bit too young. However, as long as they own up to the responsibility and make the best of the situation, that’s fine. Accidents happen, even when you use protection. I do get irritated when girls get pregnant because they didn’t use protection, then bitch because they didn’t want a baby. Well, \WHY THE HELL WEREN’T YOU ON BIRTH CONTROL!?\ I have a hard time feeling sorry for people who didn’t even bother to be smart about it. Sorry, one of my close friends just found out she’s pregnant…she just turned 19, and she’s in the navy. She admits to sleeping with a lot of people, and parties a lot. I’m not going to say that’s bad, but she should have been using protection, which she never did. I don’t know how she could have been that fucking stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/154 "2003-09-13T08:16:20Z")
I don’t know about it being like _Jerry Springer_, but possibly _Father of the Bride Part 2_. F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/155 "2003-09-13T22:01:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lokij \* > \*\*I’m going to get flamed for saying this but I don’t think it’s particularly wonderful for middle aged people to be cranking out children. 35 is way too old to be single or have kids, especially both. If I see a middle aged woman with a baby, I think she fucked up and was irresponsible, who wants kids at that age? Call me judgemental, I don’t give a shit. Most healthy young people have a hard time parenting children, much less frail geezers (and the OP may be an exception but 99.99% of all middle aged people suck ass as parents). > It’s perfectly normal for a healthy young woman to be surprised or distressed at the thought of two old people putting a defenseless young infant at greater risk of Down’s Syndrome and the instability inherent with the greater mortality rate of middle aged people. Way to go putting infants at greater risk of a disability and orphan them early in their lives because of your selfish desire to have children late in life. This is why I encourage abortion among these people. \*\* I know you were being sarcastic, but I actually agree with that, **if** you raise the age to 40, and **if** the parents-to-be already have kids. [bitter]A late baby is a very bad idea. S/he will never fit into the family. The older siblings already have their dynamic set: they will only see the new baby as a nuisance, an attention thief, and someone to be talked down to, dominated, or even abused. The mom will probably be going through menopause at the same time the kid is going through puberty, and that will be hell. The parents will probably be too tired and been-there-done-that to do the usual kid things, like waiting to see Santa. The older kids will do the stuff like go to college and have weddings first, so by the time the “baby” is ready for that, the parents will be thinking about retirement, and not equipped financially or emotionally to deal with that.[/bitter] Of course, I wouldn’t say that to anyone in their forties, unless they asked me. But someone did ask me once. Not like they were going to value my opinion above all others: they were asking pretty much everyone. In addition to the stuff I said above, I told them what I thought was most crucial: “I was a late baby, and all through my childhood, the phrase I heard most, besides “shut up”, was “I don’t have time”. If you’re serious about doing this, I hope all your time hasn’t already been used up.” Yeah, yeah, I know: there are tons of people out there who had late babies that brought so much joy and laughter and rediscovery. Wonderful, if it is that way. I’m just telling you how it looked from my perspective. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/156 "2003-09-13T22:17:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > **I only mentioned blow jobs as an example, not as an exclusive substitution for intercourse. I think it’s essential that all oral sex be reciprocated, of course…and there is always the option of mutual masturbation.** Mutual masturbation can lead to pregnancy. If one party gets semen on their hand, then touches the vagina, well, those little buggers can travel awfully fast, and only one of them has to reach the egg. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/157 "2003-09-13T23:53:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rilchiam \* > \*\*“I was a late baby, and all through my childhood, the phrase I heard most, besides “shut up”, was “I don’t have time”. If you’re serious about doing this, I hope all your time hasn’t already been used up.” \*\* Well heck, that’s all I heard and I was an only child. My mom (single parent) would come home and go in her room and close the door, and I would get in trouble if I knocked on the door “disturbing” her. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/158 "2003-09-14T00:49:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*Also, only vagimnal intercourse causes pregnancy, so abstinence isn’t necessary. No one ever got pregnant from a blow job. \*\* Boris. Becker. Yeah, I know, it’s pretty incredible. But possible. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2003, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/159 "2003-09-14T01:08:37Z")
Boris Becker got pregnant from a blow job? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663/160 "2003-09-14T17:15:27Z")
WHAT? Coldfire, please clarify. That’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever read here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-baby-my-god-you-guys-are-so-young/200663.md?page=9)