# "Is That Your Natural Hair Colour?" "Screw You." **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 28, 2006, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518 "2006-08-28T13:57:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Septima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/81 "2006-08-30T12:54:19Z")
[QUOTE=WotNot] My wife gets the hair-colour questions, and she’s a brunette – that so-dark-it’s-almost-black type colour. Of course, she’s also in her 60s (and on a bad day, in an unforgiving light, she almost looks it) so people seem to assume that it can’t be natural, but of course it is. I think she wouldn’t mind the question if people wouldn’t all but call her a liar to her face when she tells them the truth. Reply With Quote [/QUOTE] Thats strange. I (assume I) have the same hair-colour, or a similar one. and get the “do you dye your hair?” all the time, and I’m in my early twenties, so they don’t even have that “exuse” for being rude. These people usually fall into two categories: 1. People who won’t believe my hair colour is a real colour for human hair. 2. People who like my hair. The second group are met with a friendly negation, and usually a smile. The second are given a curt “no”, and a RL equivalent of an ignore. (If I could be bothered, I’d chalenge them to fin a bottle of dye that would give a light-haired woman a dark-as-darkest-chocolate haircolour that turns to a deep bronze in fireligt. A rather neat effect 😃 . My fathers hair is red, and I just asume mine is too, buried under all that other pigment.) (BTW, I believe everyone is alowed on vanity. Mine is my hair. Can you tell?) ---
**Author:** ![Septima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/82 "2006-08-30T12:57:02Z")
\*One vanity. One, not on. Preview is my friend…sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/83 "2006-08-30T13:27:19Z")
[QUOTE=GingerOfTheNorth] However, the carrot top references have _got_ to stop. [/QUOTE] Gingy, Just point out to them that the top of the carrot is the green part. Tris ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/84 "2006-08-30T13:49:07Z")
This reminds me of the thread on being half-Jewish. I posted that I found it inappropriate and rude when, if the topic of my ethnicity came up, people would “show their deep smarts” by asking if it was my mother or father who was Jewish and then declaring whether I was “officially Jewish” based on their knowledge of the Jewish matriarchal progression. (FTR, I’m not). Oy. \*\*Ellen Cherry \*\* - I love your response (“My privacy is more important to me than satisfying your idle curiousity”) and will plan to use it. I guess we should never underestimate the capacity for your average conversationalist to be a clueless dweeb - ourselves included. I like to think I have not made any of the transgressions listed in this thread - certainly not recently or as an adult - but am convinced that I did countless times as a stoopid kid, solipsistic, clueless teen and an arrogant young adult. I wonder how much of it is sheer, ill-mannered cluelessness and how much of it is trying to make fill-in-the-vacuum small talk and slipping into a dumb subject before you know it because talking about the weather has been exhausted? ---
**Author:** ![Lobelia\_Overhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@Lobelia\_Overhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobelia_Overhill)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/85 "2006-08-30T14:01:19Z")
[QUOTE=Carlyjay] Anyone else have examples of this kind of rude behaviour? [/QUOTE] How tall are you?!?!?! People cross the street to ask me that question. I’ve bought a t-shirt that says \*\* no I don’t play basketball\*\* :rolleyes: (6ft2) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/86 "2006-08-30T20:23:35Z")
[QUOTE=Frelling Tralk] Nothing, though, can compare to being pregnant. Something about having a baby growing inside you makes everyone in the world think that they can comment, advise, tease, and TOUCH. What the heck is with people that makes them think that it’s their right to know all of this information? [/QUOTE] This is what came to my mind immediately. When I was rather hugely pregnant, a woman stopped me in front of a bookstore and went on for about 20 minutes, just nattering away about my future son (I had a daughter) while my husband, and her husband and kids stood there. When she finally left, my sweetie and I looked at each other trying to figure out if the other knew who the heck she was. We didn’t. Very, very bizarre. If nothing else, she made me very aware of what is and isn’t welcome to the ears of an expectant mom. Hint: advice is unwelcome. So are tales of your personal 327 hours of labor with no drugs. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/87 "2006-08-30T21:13:22Z")
Ivyboy was born with a full head of hair. We have a picture of him as a toddler where he has curls to rival Goldilocks. I was lugging him, the stroller, the diaper bag and my purse into a deli, when the woman at the counter cooed, “Ooooh…is that his real hair?” 😕 “No, Dingbat, my two-year-old is wearing a wig. Here’s your sign.” ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/88 "2006-08-30T21:25:21Z")
[QUOTE=tremorviolet] I think there’s a difference between someone asking about your hair color which is really intended as a compliment and someone criticizing a lack of tanning, obviously not a compliment. One is awkward, one is rude. [/QUOTE] I find both to be equally rude. A remark about hair color that would be a compliment is something like “Your hair is such a pretty color.” Asking outright whether it’s dyed goes beyond the boundaries of taste, IMHO. I might ask someone after I got to know her quite well, but I would never ask such a thing of a stranger. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/89 "2006-08-30T21:50:56Z")
[QUOTE=Carlyjay] ? Prime example: I have red hair. At least a hundred zillion times a month people ask me different variations of the question, “Is your hair NATURALLY red?”Look, that question is rude Furthermore, MEN: asking if my hair is natural isn’t just rude, it’s creepy. Particularly when you ask in such a way as to find out if my pubic hair is red. Under whose system of etiquette is it okay to walk up to a stranger and say, “Are you anorexic”? [/QUOTE] (snippage) 1. _“Not so much”_ 2. Are you sure? How is it worded? 3. Now, that is rude. \*\*Aangelica \*\* “Oh don’t even get me started on the “are your boobs real” question.” I am suprised that none of our other Guy posters here have said the usual "Cite? 😉 ". (I am not asking for a “cite”, I am just saying that’s usually the response within a post or two) ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/90 "2006-08-30T21:53:35Z")
I didn’t take time to read all the posts, but seriously, you need to start asking people, “Are you naturally rude, or do you practice?” Asking complete strangers personal questions about their bodies isn’t just rude, it’s arrogant as hell. People need to be really, really, really discouraged from asking such questions. ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/91 "2006-08-30T22:47:51Z")
The worst one I ever heard was when I decided to try an auburn shade of haircolor, and a woman I know blurted out, “Did you mean for it to look like that?” ---
**Author:** ![Lobelia\_Overhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@Lobelia\_Overhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobelia_Overhill)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/92 "2006-08-31T13:54:12Z")
Oh and one night my Yahoo IM “dinged” and i got into a conversation with some male personage who wanted to know why I was on the Tall People list … _Because I’m 6ft2_ and you’re a woman? _yes_ are you sure? _Well my gynaecologist said I was and he’s a doctor, so I didn’t like to argue…_ have you alway been a woman? _'cept when I was a girl_ but you can’t be! _Why?_ because no woman would be that tall naturally. You must have had a sex change op. He continued to state there was no way I was a real female because it wasn’t possible for a woman to be so tall… I hit the ignore button ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/93 "2006-08-31T14:39:28Z")
[QUOTE=Lobelia Overhill] Oh and one night my Yahoo IM “dinged” and i got into a conversation with some male personage who wanted to know why I was on the Tall People list .. _Because I’m 6ft2_ and you’re a woman? _yes_ are you sure? _Well my gynaecologist said I was and he’s a doctor, so I didn’t like to argue…_ have you alway been a woman? _'cept when I was a girl_ but you can’t be! _Why?_ because no woman would be that tall naturally. You must have had a sex change op. He continued to state there was no way I was a real female because it wasn’t possible for a woman to be so tall… I hit the ignore button [/QUOTE] Good for you - as a guy who happens to dig tall women (my wife is 6’1" and her sisters and nieces are taller than you - and since I am 6’3" or so, I don’t want to guess how tall our daughter is going to be…) - sometimes you just have to ignore the idiots… ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/94 "2006-08-31T14:43:30Z")
I’m thin (5’8" and 130 lbs) I used to be thinner, and I’m now quite happy with my weight and curves and everything. However there is one woman in my office who, while being reasonably thin herself, still feels the need to ask me “is that all you’re eating today? No _wonder_ you’re so skinny!” _every time_ she sees me eating anything. She asked me this when I’m eating a bowl of yogurt at 8:30 in the morning. 😕 She asked me this when I was eating 6 baby carrots at 3:00 in the afternoon. :dubious: She’s a bit socially akward otherwise, and she seems to like me, so I’ve decided to just take it as a compliment. Saves my blood pressure. ---
**Author:** ![Carlyjay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Carlyjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carlyjay)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/95 "2006-08-31T15:46:23Z")
[QUOTE=DrDeth] 1. Are you sure? How is it worded? [/QUOTE] Um…yep, I’m sure. As we’ve already discussed in the thread, the fellows in question can ask such things via a number of different ways. My particular favourites are: “Hey, do the curtains match the carpet?” and, _(looks me up and down slowly with a leer)_ So… is that your hair’s NATURAL colour? and, "So… _(leer)_ is ALL your hair red? I’d love to give these guys the benefit of the doubt, but I think you’ll agree there’s no doubt there whatsoever. ---
**Author:** ![Cemetery\_Savior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Cemetery\_Savior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cemetery_Savior)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/96 "2006-08-31T16:07:22Z")
[QUOTE=InappropriateHumor] The other is: “OMG, you’re so _white_! Have you ever thought about tanning? The spray on tans are really good now!” …or wear sun glasses if you would like to look at me. [/QUOTE] I too am one of the Pale People (it may have something to do with my Irish ancestry…maybe?). My own mother (1/2 German, and tans very well, as does my sister) tells that I have the skin tone of a fresh corpse. My 1/4 German background gives me no tanning ability…I think I got screwed. Also, **Inappropriate** …you owe me $0.25. I started that phrase about sunglasses. I also had red hair as a child (which then went blond around age 10, and then went to my mud-colored hair nowadays around age 16 (yes, in High School)). Everyone from my High School thought I dyed my hair. Like I’d choose mud-brown! I hate people! -Cem ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/97 "2006-08-31T18:10:00Z")
[QUOTE=Bobotheoptimist] Men in kilts must be exhibitionists, right? Or maybe I bought a custom fitted, clan specific, properly pleated $800 skirt from Scotland and have never heard the joke about the old ladies and the blue ribbon. By Og, the next time I’m going to ask about hers. “I’ll tell after you do. Gotcherself a thong under there, lassie? Nah, yer a granny-panty type, aintcha? C’mon, drop 'em and show it!” [/QUOTE] This one gripes me. If I walked up to a woman and started speculating about what she was wearing under her dress (complete with jokes about shiny shoes), I’d get slapped or arrested. Why do women think it’s okay? I was hosting a Scottish gathering earlier this month and had three (non-Scot) women all gathered around me making comments. I thought one of them was actually going to lift my kilt. Sheesh. [QUOTE=Marienee] However I do get a lot of variations on “my, you are short”. [/QUOTE] I get the opposite: “Gee, you’re tall” or “How tall are you?” or “You’re a big guy, aren’t you?” (Really? I hadn’t noticed!) Generally, it doesn’t annoy me too much because I figure the person is just struggling for something to say, but it really does get old. I’m really annoyed by the people who tell me how wonderful it must be to be tall. Yes, I can paint the ceiling, but I couldn’t buy the house I wanted (the beams were too low) or the sports car I wanted (I just couldn’t fit–heck, there are full-size _pickup trucks_ that aren’t high enough for me to sit up straight). And being tall is a joy when shopping for long-sleeve shirts. How many places have shirts on the rack with 17-1/2" neck and 38" sleeves? [QUOTE=pinkfreud] Worse still, in my view, is the question “Are your boobs real?” [/QUOTE] :eek: I can’t even _imagine_ asking a woman this. It boggles my mind that a stranger or casual acquaintance would do it. Is it men or women that ask? [QUOTE=Lobelia Overhill] _Because I’m 6ft2_ and you’re a woman? [/QUOTE] I met a woman when I was in college that was 6’2" tall. After we chatted for a while, I mentioned that most tall women I know tend to wear flats (she was wearing 4" heels). She smiled and said that if guys had problems with tall women, she wanted to chase 'em away right from the get-go. I got a chuckle out of that. ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/98 "2006-08-31T18:11:19Z")
[QUOTE=DrDeth] Aangelica “Oh don’t even get me started on the “are your boobs real” question.” I am suprised that none of our other Guy posters here have said the usual "Cite? ". (I am not asking for a “cite”, I am just saying that’s usually the response within a post or two) [/QUOTE] Actually, I’m fond of my mammaries. I like the way they look, and don’t actually mind an admiring glance or two. Comes with the territory and as long as you’re not actually staring it’s flattering. It’s the people who want to discuss whether or not my breasts are factory-issued or after-market who chap my ass. ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/99 "2006-08-31T23:22:36Z")
Depending on my mood and who is asking I’ve got a couple of responses to rude questions I get sometimes… I’m a redhead. Dickweed: “Do the carpets match the drapes?” Me: “Freshly waxed hardwood floors. Shame you’ll never see 'em. They’re spectacular.” Dickweed: “Are your boobs real?” Me: Yep. Dickweed: “Really?” Me: “Really. And your daddy paid real money for 'em.” ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518/100 "2006-09-01T03:17:42Z")
[QUOTE=Aangelica] Actually, I’m fond of my mammaries. I like the way they look, and don’t actually mind an admiring glance or two. Comes with the territory and as long as you’re not actually staring it’s flattering. . [/QUOTE] Well, then, I \*will \*do the typical male thing and ask for a “cite”. 😉 (That’s asking for a link to a photo- work safe, of course!) 🆒 **Carlyjay** , Ok, #'s 1 and 3 are beyond defense. I am ashamed they are male. Maybe #2, maybe not. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-that-your-natural-hair-colour-screw-you/370518.md?page=4)