# Is the average time for sex really this short? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 3, 2014, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889 "2014-06-03T02:36:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/21 "2014-06-03T11:08:48Z")
> [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > I dunno. Are we talking start to finish, including foreplay? Or are we talking the PIV portion of the festivities? Excellent user name for any posts in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/22 "2014-06-03T11:58:07Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > But even so, I’m with **Dangerosa** - most of what men think is desirable during sex … Is often based on what _men think_ women desire (and also assumes that every woman desires the same things which is laughably wrong). Staying power - usually only referred to related to PiV sex - isn’t very high on many women’s sex preferences (that shit can get really boring, natural wetness dries up, chafing begins, tons of fun like that). It seems to be more important to men and their feelings regarding their sexual prowess and masculinity instead. For reference, deep is overrated as well. Some women might like a bruised cervix, I find it uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/23 "2014-06-03T12:05:21Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > But even so, I’m with **Dangerosa** - most of what men think is desirable during sex … Is often based on what _men think_ women desire (and also assumes that every woman desires the same things which is laughably wrong). Staying power - usually only referred to related to PiV sex - isn’t very high on many women’s sex preferences (that shit can get really boring, natural wetness dries up, chafing begins, tons of fun like that). It seems to be more important to men and their feelings regarding their sexual prowess and masculinity instead. It’s the flip side of Cosmopolitan advising gals to “drive him wild in bed by yanking on his testicles! He’ll love it!” ---
**Author:** ![What\_the](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f4b2a3/32.png) [@What\_the](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_the)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/24 "2014-06-03T12:51:19Z")
> [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > I dunno. Are we talking start to finish, including foreplay? Or are we talking the PIV portion of the festivities? … if this is answered somewhere can somebody point it out. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/25 "2014-06-03T13:15:59Z")
> [@What\_the](#): > > … if this is answered somewhere can somebody point it out. From the OP > [@Shagnasty](#): > > I just read an article in [Esquire magazine](http://www.esquire.com/women/sex/average-sex-time-0709) that said the average time **for actual intercourse** is only 3 - 7 minutes with premature ejaculating men clocking in at at minute or so. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/26 "2014-06-03T13:30:54Z")
I’ve not timed it - but in general, the “actual intercourse” is, as it were, the icing on the cake, or the fireworks at the end of the festivities. It usually does not last very long, because so very much has happened before it. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/27 "2014-06-03T13:33:25Z")
I guess nobody has ever heard of Tantra… ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/28 "2014-06-03T13:49:15Z")
So, Shagnasty is Sting? ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/29 "2014-06-03T13:57:12Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > Excellent user name for any posts in this thread. 😉 3 - 7 minutes from “Honey, I’m home” is much too short. But if it times actual PIV serious thrusting, I’ve likely already climaxed a couple of times. At that point, I am fine if he brings it to a finish. If he has had enough time to be satisfied, and I don’t think ejaculation is the only measure of that, then I think all is well and we should put away the timers. ---
**Author:** ![AnthonyElite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@AnthonyElite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnthonyElite)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/30 "2014-06-03T14:00:47Z")
I can relate to OP, but I’d add that if you were doing the same exact thing the whole time you are both in great danger… OF FALLING ASLEEP! While I think there is some merit in a longer session, the benefit to drawback ratio is certainly present. Individual enjoyment may vary, but generally PIV benefit to drawback starts to flip around the half hour mark. After that I’m generally numb and I’m just doing it (in my youth) for the benefit of my own ego. It makes a great story, sure, but that certainly isn’t what the act is about. With nothing but enjoyment in mind, a usual session is about 20 minutes. That is an estimation because anyone who has any interest in a clock while making it is certainly doing it wrong and therefore disqualified. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/31 "2014-06-03T14:03:58Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Six hours?!?! Aren’t you supposed to go to the ER for an erection lasting more than 4 hours? Priapism, or something. He didn’t say he was _hard_. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/32 "2014-06-03T15:21:08Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > I guess nobody has ever heard of Tantra… Tantra is only about 10% about sex, and of that, only about 30% about PIV sex. And it’s overrated. \*numbers derived rectally. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/33 "2014-06-03T15:33:51Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > God, I hope so - impressive staying power is not impressive, it just leaves me sore and cranky. > > (Many women don’t come from vaginal penetration - so the sex part of sex is sort of anti-climatic) Yeah. Vaginas have mucous membranes. Marathon sex is _miserable_. If we’re talking strictly about the part where the penis is inside the vagina, it gets boring/tiring/painful after 15 minutes–even with position switches. Let’s get it over with, please! Extended foreplay is cool, though. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/34 "2014-06-03T15:51:16Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > The novel was about the publication of a book describing what a woman was thinking during those seven minutes, … It takes time to count all the holes in the ceiling tiles! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/35 "2014-06-03T16:18:18Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > It takes time to count all the holes in the ceiling tiles! When I was a little tyke I enjoyed reading, and it got me into trouble a few times. I must have been seven when I found and read [_Sam,The Ceiling Needs Painting_](http://www.amazon.com/Sam-Ceiling-Needs-Painting/dp/B000CRXAUS), a book of foot cartoons. I had no clue what was going on. It was my mom’s book so I asked her. She changed the subject, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![mo50](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@mo50](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mo50)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/36 "2014-06-03T16:30:32Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > So, Shagnasty is Sting? He had a great line about this when people made fun of his claim of marathon tantric sex, something like “I can make love for four hours straight. Of course, that includes dinner and a movie!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/37 "2014-06-03T18:14:41Z")
I think we generally go for 20-30 minutes from the time the first hand begins caressing the first erogenous zone, until the last orgasm has ended and we’re in cool down mode. Sometimes it’s as fast as five minutes or so when we’re too worked up to make it last, and there have been a few sessions that lasted an hour or more, but those include starting in the restaurant, continuing in the car on the drive home, and working our way upstairs dropping clothes on the way and breaking out the box of toys. But like some others have mentioned, you can’t just keep thrusting for that long- nearly every session of ours involves changing positions at least 3-5 times- starting with hands, then fellatio, then PiV to cunnilingus or fellatio, back to PiV (or PiA), missionary, doggie, and any number of other positions that work for all interested parties. Whew- I may need a cold drink. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/38 "2014-06-03T18:54:25Z")
As John Lennon said, sex is 99% imagination and 1% friction. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/39 "2014-06-03T19:17:05Z")
3 minutes is like 10 orgasms for her. Not my fault if you picked the wrong person. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889/40 "2014-06-03T19:18:29Z")
6-7 minutes of PIV time sounds about right to me. If there’s been no happy ending by ~10 minutes, it’s time to pull out and snuggle. At least, that’s what I vaguely remember from pre-parenthood days. :eek: 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-average-time-for-sex-really-this-short/689889.md?page=3)