# Is the first relationship after a bad breakup \*always\* bad? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 26, 2009, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-first-relationship-after-a-bad-breakup-always-bad/515116 "2009-10-26T00:09:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2017, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-first-relationship-after-a-bad-breakup-always-bad/515116/42 "2017-05-06T00:00:49Z")
I had a rebound relationship after a pretty amicable separation and divorce, years ago. It took a long time to even consider the possibility, but then one day there he was, the time was right and I was out of excuses, and my God was that a fun summer. No regrets. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2017, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-first-relationship-after-a-bad-breakup-always-bad/515116/43 "2017-05-06T00:37:46Z")
I’m really curious how we got from post #25 to #26, given that **Shodan** isn’t exactly a newbie who stumbled on us via Google and didn’t realize they were resurrecting a zombie. ETA - never mind, I see now that a now-deleted spammer resurrected the thread. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2017, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-first-relationship-after-a-bad-breakup-always-bad/515116/44 "2017-05-06T01:32:08Z")
I only has one break-up that was remotely bad and that was more from her viewpoint than mine. And I married the next girl I was in a serious relationship with after that 40 years ago. So I would say YMMV. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2017, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-first-relationship-after-a-bad-breakup-always-bad/515116/45 "2017-05-06T09:50:37Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > I’m really curious how we got from post #25 to #26, given that **Shodan** isn’t exactly a newbie who stumbled on us via Google and didn’t realize they were resurrecting a zombie. > > ETA - never mind, I see now that a now-deleted spammer resurrected the thread. Maybe it was their rebound thread? ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2017, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-first-relationship-after-a-bad-breakup-always-bad/515116/46 "2017-05-06T14:58:14Z")
My wife and I got together shortly after she broke up with her live in boyfriend of seven years. That was coming up on 12 years ago. I won’t presume to speak for her if she regrets it or not. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2017, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-first-relationship-after-a-bad-breakup-always-bad/515116/47 "2017-05-06T16:04:23Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > I’m really curious how we got from post #25 to #26, given that **Shodan** isn’t exactly a newbie who stumbled on us via Google and didn’t realize they were resurrecting a zombie. > > ETA - never mind, I see now that a now-deleted spammer resurrected the thread. I honestly didn’t notice until you mentioned it oops. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2017, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-first-relationship-after-a-bad-breakup-always-bad/515116/48 "2017-05-06T21:01:59Z")
Met Kropotkinskaya after we both were on the rebound and we joked about being each others’ “in between partner.” That was 32 years ago. She reminds me that I am the in between guy when I screw up. ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2017, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-first-relationship-after-a-bad-breakup-always-bad/515116/49 "2017-05-06T21:24:08Z")
For the sake of argument, assume the rule is completely true. I don’t understand how it believing the rule would cause you to delay dating. Even if you wait a year before dating like one poster said, your next relationship will still be the first one after the bad breakup, so will still be bad according to the rule. Aside from the fact that the rule is not true, if you take it as true then the ‘correct’ response is to start dating ASAP to get the bad rebound relationship out of the way and move on with your life. ---
**Author:** ![Weisshund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba8739/32.png) [@Weisshund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weisshund)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2017, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-first-relationship-after-a-bad-breakup-always-bad/515116/50 "2017-05-07T19:16:54Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > Wait a year. Sitting Shiva are we? I guess **ZOMBIE** breakups require an 8 year waiting period? Hootash naraba oos Veesloo. Ahm kum Ra. Ahm kum Dei. Efday shokran, efday shokran Amenophis! ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2017, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-first-relationship-after-a-bad-breakup-always-bad/515116/51 "2017-05-07T19:47:38Z")
> [@Pantastic](#): > > For the sake of argument, assume the rule is completely true. I don’t understand how it believing the rule would cause you to delay dating. Even if you wait a year before dating like one poster said, your next relationship will still be the first one after the bad breakup, so will still be bad according to the rule. Aside from the fact that the rule is not true, if you take it as true then the ‘correct’ response is to start dating ASAP to get the bad rebound relationship out of the way and move on with your life. Perhaps the best thing is to date multiple people–but not get into any exclusive relationships. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2017, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-first-relationship-after-a-bad-breakup-always-bad/515116/52 "2017-05-07T20:13:17Z")
My decades-long relationship with **Mrs. Siam Sam** came right after my breakup with my drama-filled relationship with that completely batshit crazy Texas nurse I’ve mentioned before. But our relationship did not officially begin until eight months after that breakup, not immediately afterward, although we were friends during that time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-first-relationship-after-a-bad-breakup-always-bad/515116.md?page=2)