It probably goes with out saying that if somebody else, not the parent, pulled this “prank” on their kids, shit would get real.
And yet none of them will own that, which seems a little odd to me.
But then the whole thing is odd to me, the concept, the parents doing it, taping it, sending it to air on tv, and, no doubt, the repeated viewing of the tape with Aunties, company, and, of course the laughing of the parents.
All somewhat baffling, I suspect, for people like me who just don’t ‘get’ it.
It doesn’t seem that odd to me. Parents do all kinds of questionable things with their kids that they wouldn’t want someone else to do. Like spanking. Or feeding their kids junk food. My mother would occasionally make bacon and waffles for dinner, with no vegetables or fruit. Best. Dinner. Ever. But I’m guessing she would have had a problem if the school cafeteria or the babysitter had served the same meal. In her mind, she knew what her intentions were. Other people could be motivated by other reasons (like laziness or ignorance).
A parent may prank their kid trusting the kid will know their intentions were innocent enough. A parent may also trust that they can effectively smooth things over afterwards so that there are no lingering hard feelings. But it makes sense that they wouldn’t necessarily entrust such power to another adult.
My father used to scare us all the time his crazy hijinks. He’d take us to the school where he was the principal late at night, turn off all the lights in the building, and then make spooky monster noises. Talk about scary!! He knew us well enough to know how hard he could push it, and he knew (just as we did) it was all good fun. But someone else doing the same thing to his kids would just be a creepy guy getting off on the screams of children. Of course he’d have a problem with that. Why wouldn’t he?
Ooooh…I think that’s the real reason why I don’t like these videos. It’s not that I think (most of) these kids are going to be pushed over the edge by the prank itself…it’s that the Jimmy Kimmel show turns us all into the creepy guy getting off on the screams of children.
But I’m the killjoy that never found the humor in the crotch shots of America’s Funniest Home Videos and the like, either, so what do I know. My empathy setting is tuned too high.
True, and yet I don’t feel a shred of guilt or remorse for finding humor in Reasons My Son is Crying. Naturally, I think there is a difference between laughing at a kid’s reaction and intentionally causing the kid’s reaction so you can laugh at it.
I have laughed in response to my own crying, so I have no problem laughing at expressions of sadness in other people, including children. I just don’t do it in front of them since that would be mean.
Ah, see, I love “Reasons My Son is Crying”, because I find the humor in the parent’s (appropriate) sense of perspective and perplex that there are just so many stupid things toddlers cry about in the course of a day. The humor comes from parents (and other caregivers) sharing their experiences and seeing that their “unique” meltdowns aren’t at all unique. Every parent who ever gave their kid a banana has witnessed a meltdown when the banana broke. And there’s nothing the parent did wrong, or the kid did wrong, or the banana did wrong. It’s just life, kiddo. So you either cry with the kid, or you find the humor in it.
Exactly. No one’s making My Son cry, except his own frustration with reality. Which is hilarious, when you’re not dealing with it 43,236 times a day.
Jimmy Kimmel wants parents to make their kids cry, and us to laugh at it. I just don’t get the funny in that.
Do I seriously think that just this prank, in isolation and when delivered by an otherwise good loving appropriate parent will break a child and send them to therapy? Absolutely not. I do find it interesting that quite a few of the posters saying they were similarly made cry by their parents lots of times and it was no big deal have, in other threads, revealed questionable life decisions, mental illness and relationship issues, though. It’s not this one prank that concerns me, it’s the kind of people who participate in it, and what that participation suggests about their other parenting choices, and the aggregate impact of that on a developing brain.
I don’t think the prank is emblematic of much since I can imagine both asshole and virtuous parents doing it. In one breath you seem to be saying that the prank ain’t no big deal, but in another saying that it actually is. Maybe I’m just not following you.
The prank itself doesn’t bother me greatly, despite the fact I’ve always been uncomfortable with pranks. For me, it’s the airing it out in public aspect that kind of crosses the line. Even if a parent asks the kid if they are fine with the recording being shown on TV, there’s that power dynamic between parent and child that makes saying “no” difficult. I could see a kid being embarrassed by their reaction and not wanting others to see it, but feeling pressured (internally or externally) not to express this lest they come across as a wet blanket. That is wrong.
Is this what troubles you too?
I guess where I’m coming from is…all things in moderation? A little teasing isn’t a bad thing. A lot of teasing, especially teasing to the level of tears and screams, especially when it’s broadcast to the public and encouraged by role models*, seems to be to be a good indicator of a parent who takes teasing too far. So when the OP asks if this prank is cruel or damaging to children, I can say no, probably not, but still think that participation is a sign that more cruel or damaging behavior exists in the family.
*as much as I shudder to think of Jimmy Kimmel as a role model, in this case he’s very specifically telling parents the role they should play and modeling that back to them by playing these videos, so that’s pretty much textbook role model…
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Is intentionally making your kid get hysterically upset in order to laugh at them and potentially get many other people to laugh at them actually “innocent enough”?
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Agreed. The key is how hard to push it. Some of the parents in the vids were pushing well past that point.
Most kids love to be scared a bit. I don’t think your dad would have minded a school based hauted house scare fest run by someone else scaring you to the same degree. Teasing some and getting kids to believe some whoppers for a short time is no problem (maybe even helps develop some critical thinking skills and skepticism). Intentionally getting your kid as upset as some of the kids in that vid got as the goal and then laughing at your child’s upset with others. Not within the acceptable how hard to push it range in my book.
Admittedly I’m emotionally dense. (And for this reason, I don’t think I’d be a good mother). But I really don’t see the difference between scaring the living crap out of a kid and laughing afterwards, and making a kid cry and laughing afterwards. Why is fear so different from disappointment? Both of them suck, IMHO. But the relief afterwards is what makes them “fun”.
Parents manipulate their kids’ emotions all the time. Sometimes for amusement, sometimes to get them to behave. My mother coerced me into staying in the kitchen with my Play-Doh by threatening me with a monster named Animal, who she said would come out if it sensed Play-Doh anywhere near her carpets. And I totally believed in Animal. And I’m sure she was quite amused by my fearful obedience. But I can’t say I was traumatized by the deception. I don’t think she showed poor parenting by not being honest with me. Indeed, I find the whole thing hilarious now.
I’m not saying the prank isn’t mean (most pranks are, which is why I don’t like them). But to me, it doesn’t seem THAT much crueler than the other questionable things parents normally do to their kids. Like the long con known as Santa Claus.
Or Jesus Christ
Most kids, and many adults, enjoy being scared a bit. We intentionally go to scary movies and so on. We go out of our way to experience that because, in the right dose, it is fun.
Most of us, kids and adults both, do not enjoy being disappointed. We don’t go out of our way to be disappointed. We do not enjoy feeling betrayed and do not go out of our way to feel the experience of being betrayed. We do not enjoy being made fun of and laughed at and go out of way to experience that.
“Want to go to a haunted house?” “Sure!”
“Want to be betrayed, made cry, and laughed at?” “Uh, no thanks.” “Hey, it’s by your parents!” “Um, bad enough I get bullied at school. No thank you.”
Again though there is a right dose for each, a scare up to a point … and your father knew how far he could push it before it was no longer in good fun. A tall tale, a slight threat of disappointment with a fib and then the stress relieved with a gotcha … again there is a dose of that that is experienced as fun. But the dose aint large and when a kid is hysterical and you let it go on, further provoke it, in order to laugh at your kid … it is way over the dose that is fun for the kid.
Ask kids who have outgrown the Santa myth/con, or the Tooth Fairy one, if the con had been fun for them or if it upset them and I doubt too many would say they were upset at the con … more upset the days of being able to be on that side of the con are over. Ask these Kimmelized kids if Mommy and Daddy telling them they ate all their candy and laughing at their crying with others was fun for them … do you think they would answer similarly?
If the kid was able to laugh at themselves after it was all said and done, why wouldn’t they?
I agree that intentionally making a kid cry is dickish. But I can see a parent misjudging how sensitive their kid is and accidentally making them cry. I don’t see that as bad parenting. I see that as yet another “oopsie” on a giant pile of other oopsies that is called modern parenting.
I don’t feel comfortable labeling certain parental choices as “damaging” just because they make me cringe. A prank like this is mean, sure. But “damaging”? A term that is similar to “abusive”? I just don’t see it, sorry. I need some evidence.
Did you watch the Kimmel bit?
Do you think most of these kids laughed at themselves afterwards? I sure don’t. (Okay maybe the “You must have a belly ache.” one.)
Do you see parents who accidentally made their kids cry and as soon as they saw the mistake rushed in to try to fix it?
These were not misjudgements. These were hoping for a big upset reaction to get a bit on TV and keeping the filming and the provocation going as the kids were hysterical. Making the kids cry was intentional.
Why would the kids laugh at themselves? They did nothing that in hindsight was stupid or mistaken. Their parents told them something upsetting and they reacted exactly as you’d expect. There was no clue that it was a lie, and they had no reason to disbelieve it.
If their parents had said something ridiculous or obviously false that they potentially could have seen through, like that the Cookie Monster ate their stuff or it was shipped off to the moon, then maybe they’d have something to laugh at.
I agree that it’s not a damaging prank. It’s just a dick move. It makes the parents assholes, and the prank not funny at all. It’s merely tormenting someone and then laughing at it.
Welcome to comedy 101
I don’t think it’s harmful but it’s unnecessarily cruel and worse that they allow it to be viewed on TV for laughs. I pull pranks on my daughter all the time but this isn’t just pulling pranks. This is inviting the world to look at them make their children cry.
I loathe those shows where they laugh at people getting hurt too. I just don’t get that kind of humor personally.
Yes, I have. I also participated in last year’s pit thread over this. The reactions span from “whatever, mom” to shrieking wails. Some of them are funny, some of them are embarrassing. I actually find the angry reactions worse than the sad ones, but maybe that’s just me.
If the parents handled it well, yes, I think it is highly likely they did. Have you never cried and laughed at the same time? Have you never been able to see the humor in something after the fact…after you had time to reflect on what happened?
If a parent pulled the prank and they made their kid cry, they shouldn’t be broadcasting it on TV. I’ve said as much already. It’s not the worse thing in the world, but it is certainly a parenting fail and it is cringeworthy to watch. But I don’t think a kid is psychologically damaged by something like this. A parent has 524,160 minutes in a year to build a trusting and sensitive relationship with their kid . If they decide to use five of those to play a little mind game on their kid, with the potential upside being a humorous anecdote that everyone can laugh at for years to come, I really can’t see how that’s enough to cancel out everything else they do for that kid. I refuse to extrapolate too much from a 30 second clip, and I refuse to wring my hands over something without any evidence that it is worth fretting about.
I think it’s possible some of the parents didn’t know what reaction they would get. Of course the parents who intentionally made their kids cry are dicks, but I’m not going to assume all them were dicks. Because I just don’t know that. Sorry I can’t be as confident as you.
monstro but sorry, here I do have to play the experience with kids card. No, the kids who cried and screamed did not laugh after the fact.
Agreed that one bad judgement does not scar a child. My standard line has always been that my kids have turned out okay mostly despite me, not because of me. We all make parenting fails.
But if this is the sort of judgement these parents use pervasively … ?
That said some of those kids were impressive … the kid who was obviously upset but trying to hold it together with "That’s okay. - forgiving the parents for their mistake. Wow.
You don’t know this, but whatever. You’re a parent and a pediatrician. I only have my experience to go on. And I remember sniffling and laughing as a little kid all the time, especially if my parents and siblings were laughing.
I would feel way crappier if I got this reaction than I would with bawling. I’d feel proud but ashamed of myself. I’d probably only send in the video if the kid was like “whatever”. Anything else would make me feel like an ass.