# Is the slow dance still a thing? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [December 1, 2024, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031 "2024-12-01T23:21:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2024, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/1 "2024-12-01T23:21:27Z")
Last week, I chaperoned a dance at my school. Most of the music they played just sounded like noise to me, but then, I suppose that that’s how it’s always been, from one generation to the next. But one specific difference stood out to me. Back when I was a teen, at a dance, most of the songs, you’d be dancing with a big group of your friends, and all be just more or less bopping. And that still seems to be what happens, even if Kids These Days do it to worse music. But every so often, they’d do a slow song, and for those, you’d ditch your friends, find your special someone, hold them close, and dance just with them, mostly ignoring the rest of the world. But there didn’t seem to be any of those. Not just bad slow-dance songs, but none at all. Is that just not a thing any more? ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2024, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/2 "2024-12-01T23:32:25Z")
I haven’t been around teens much in years (apart from random encounters) but I have read that [dating among teens is at an all-time low.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201710/teen-dating-and-sex-hit-record-lows-recent-decades) Instead, they prefer to go out in small groups to hang-out (mixed gender). Perhaps (only speculation on my part) the lack of a slow dance is a symptom of this. There just are not enough teens at a dance who are paired-off to merit a time where it is only them on the dance floor (which would also make those few stand-out which teens are loathe to do). It’s a little sad since those slow dance bits were great but times change. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2024, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/3 "2024-12-01T23:44:49Z")
I’d sooner assume the school is terrified of reactionary parents going apes\*\*\* if their kids touched _gasp_ a member of the opposite sex while a school staffer, i.e. the OP, looked on. I attend dances that include 20-somethings and slow dances are still a thing there. We geezers & geezerettes still enjoy them too. ---
**Author:** ![sunacres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@sunacres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunacres)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2024, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/4 "2024-12-01T23:46:30Z")
It probably varies a great deal by locality. As a middle school _teacher_ dance chaperone I didn’t pay too much attention because the _parent_ chaperones were so busy enforcing the slow dance rules (like “no grinding” and “no moving clothing around”). Slow dancing is still very much a thing here. It was important in my day too, but wasn’t limited to that “special someone.” There was lots of pleasure regardless of who in particular was “dancing.” In sixth grade it was important, but later not so much. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2024, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/5 "2024-12-01T23:49:58Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > I haven’t been around teens much in years (apart from random encounters) but I have read that [dating among teens is at an all-time low.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201710/teen-dating-and-sex-hit-record-lows-recent-decades) Instead, they prefer to go out in small groups to hang-out (mixed gender). Probably because we’ve raised a generation of asexual genderless nerds! ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2024, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/6 "2024-12-01T23:51:37Z")
> [@sunacres](#): > > In sixth grade it was important, but later not so much. In grades 6-8 my parents made me attend formal dance lessons (slow dances, hand on waist/shoulder stuff) hosted a the local Junior High School. Boys had to wear a sport coat and tie. Girls wore long skirts and wore long, white gloves. Much angst ensued but I’m glad we did that. Not sure why that was not offered once in high school. ---
**Author:** ![StringsandHammers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stringsandhammers/32/17933_2.png) [@StringsandHammers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StringsandHammers)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2024, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/7 "2024-12-02T00:05:08Z")
I play keyboards in bands at all kind of places. Many holes in the wall but also a few nice places and what I learned is this: there’s still a time and place to lower the lights and for drunk people to slow dance a d slobber on each other Hope this helps. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2024, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/8 "2024-12-02T00:06:18Z")
> [@StringsandHammers](#): > > I play keyboards in bands at all kind of places. Many holes in the wall but also a few nice places and what I learned is this: > > there’s still a time and place to lower the lights and for drunk people to slow dance a d slobber on each other But, are you playing at dances for high schoolers or junior high schoolers? That seems to be the crux of what the OP is asking about. ---
**Author:** ![StringsandHammers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stringsandhammers/32/17933_2.png) [@StringsandHammers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StringsandHammers)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2024, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/9 "2024-12-02T00:12:30Z")
No i dont play many high school gigs and there tends to be less drunk couples at those gigs, though not completely absent. ---
**Author:** ![sunacres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@sunacres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunacres)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2024, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/10 "2024-12-02T01:00:44Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > In grades 6-8 my parents made me attend formal dance lessons … Much angst ensued but I’m glad we did that. You lucky dog. It was mandatory for us in sixth grade at school, but never after. I’m a better person for it, and could have used another couple of years! The dance instructor was a tiny old bat named Dart Tinkham. I had to work pretty hard just now trying to remember her real name since we all called her, naturally, Fart Stinkum ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2024, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/11 "2024-12-02T01:10:23Z")
I grew up in a tony demi-fatcat suburb in SoCal. For whatever benighted reason our 5th grade elementary school, so age 10-11, had mandatory square dancing lessons for all the kids for 1 hour per week. Square dancing!!?! Truth is I enjoyed it and am glad I got pushed through it, despite otherwise having lots of trouble relating to girls. But _square dancing_ in late 1960s uber-hip SoCal? You gotta be kidding me. I remember becoming fairly good at it by 10yo standards. I remember about zero of the details now. Yee haw! Bow to your partner, bow to your corner. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2024, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/12 "2024-12-02T01:20:04Z")
> [@sunacres](#): > > It probably varies a great deal by locality. As a middle school _teacher_ dance chaperone I didn’t pay too much attention because the _parent_ chaperones were so busy enforcing the slow dance rules (like “no grinding” and “no moving clothing around”). Slow dancing is still very much a thing here. We didn’t have any parent chaperones, except those teachers who happened to also be parents. And it didn’t occur to me that school administration might have told the DJs not to play any slow dances. I don’t think they did, but then again, someone did have the sense to tell the DJ towards the end to play some ABBA songs (we just did Mama Mia as our fall musical), so there was at least some instruction to the DJ. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2024, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/13 "2024-12-02T02:02:54Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I grew up in a tony demi-fatcat suburb in SoCal. For whatever benighted reason our 5th grade elementary school, so age 10-11, had mandatory square dancing lessons for all the kids for 1 hour per week. Square dancing!!?! > > Truth is I enjoyed it and am glad I got pushed through it, despite otherwise having lots of trouble relating to girls. But square dancing in late 1960s uber-hip SoCal That was a national thing, not local. We had it in South Carolina in primary school (ages around 6 to 9?) the early 1980s, too. Absolutely hated it. Turns out that we had to do it because Henry Ford hated Jews > **[It's Henry Ford's Fault You Had to Square Dance in School](https://wrkr.com/henry-ford-square-dancing/)** > > Not only was it his fault, but you learned square dancing because Henry Ford was anti-semitic, and hated jazz music. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2024, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/14 "2024-12-02T02:09:51Z")
Color me gobsmacked, but somehow not surprised. Thank you. I think. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2024, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/15 "2024-12-02T02:14:05Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > That was a national thing, not local. We had it in South Carolina in primary school (ages around 6 to 9?) the early 1980s, too. Absolutely hated it. In my Catholic grade school in Green Bay, in the 1970s, we had to do square dancing, too. ISTR it was a part of PE, maybe a couple of weeks each school year, when I was in 5th through 7th grade. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2024, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/16 "2024-12-02T02:20:18Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > In my Catholic grade school in Green Bay, in the 1970s, we had to do square dancing, too. ISTR it was a part of PE, maybe a couple of weeks each school year, when I was in 5th through 7th grade. We had to get up and perform it on stage at a talent show, IIRC. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2024, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/17 "2024-12-02T02:23:42Z")
We did some square dancing too and I also think it was a PE thing but it wasn’t much. When I was in kindergarten we did some square-dancing for a talent show and I do-si-doed my partner off the stage. We were spinning around and I thought it would be neat to let her go, so I did. She fell off the stage (she was fine…not happy but fine). I was not allowed to participate anymore though and they gave me the job of emcee which (I thought) was more cool anyway. ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2024, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/18 "2024-12-02T02:24:45Z")
Not that anyone cares but my first slow dance was in 7th grade with Scott Harper. The song was _Knights in White Satin._. Probably 1970? ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2024, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/19 "2024-12-02T02:28:22Z")
Wow – only because of the _“and I LOVE YOU!!!”_ repeated lyrical buildup. Could get awkward. (As opposed to, say, good ol’ Stairway to Heaven, which – as Erik Davis noted in the _33 1/3_ book series – is really just about commerce.) ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2024, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031/20 "2024-12-02T02:29:49Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > That was a national thing, not local. We had it in South Carolina in primary school (ages around 6 to 9?) the early 1980s, too. Absolutely hated it. International, if you want to include Canada. We had to learn square dancing in my Toronto elementary school. Late 1960s/early 1970s. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-slow-dance-still-a-thing/1011031.md?page=2)