# Is the waifu and husbando thing more than a cute joke?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 27, 2015, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030 "2015-08-27T05:14:21Z")
**Posts on this page:** 18
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2015, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/1 "2015-08-27T05:14:21Z")
Apparently waifu and husbando is when someone picks a animated character to be their imaginary wife of husband. Ok I’m thinking of something like if you could marry any celebrity which one would it be? Kinda nonsense like that, not serious.
Then there are guys talking about what their waifu said or did, apparently in their head. There was a guy saying his waifu turned abusive and dumped him.:dubious:
Is this really serious? Are people really talking about their imaginary animated character spouse or an elaborate joke I’m missing out the funny of.
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### Author:  [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2015, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/2 "2015-08-27T05:23:28Z")
The English language evolves, and the internet seems to speed this evolution up massively. “Waifu” evokes a slightly different meaning in the mind of the listener than “wife”, such as a skinny, submissive Asian woman instead of the nonspecific ‘wife’.
Maybe the people you overhead had wives that shared some of the traits of a “waifu”.
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### Author:  [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2015, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/3 "2015-08-27T05:24:37Z")
I knew a case of this way back in the 80’s. He was an artist, and drew several characters, many of whom were hotcha sexy. Then he determined that he was married to one of them. Sent out announcements, drew (comics/manga format) the ceremony, and so on.
Weird, but not totally schizo, just too much into it all. When fans become fanatics.
I see it as about as meaningful as getting a tattoo of one’s favorite character. It’s really little more than a declaration of fannish interest. “I’m Kitty Pryde’s Biggest Fan!” “No, I’m Kitty Pryde’s BIGGEST FAN!” “Oh, yeah, I got her tattoo on my biceps!” “Oh, yeah, I got her tattoo on my zahnstucker!” “Oh, yeah? I MARRIED her!”
Shrug.
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### Author:  [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2015, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/4 "2015-08-27T05:32:12Z")
OP have you ever had a girlfriend/boyfriend
you can’t understand waifuism without years and years of soul-crushing loneliness
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### Author:  [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2015, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/5 "2015-08-27T05:42:01Z")
> [@PSXer](#):
>
> OP have you ever had a girlfriend/boyfriend
> you can’t understand waifuism without years and years of soul-crushing loneliness
Yes.
And I’m not mocking or laughing at this(well the guy abused by a waifu is a bit out there) I honestly just couldn’t tell if it was jokey or serious and felt if I directly asked I could start a shitstorm.
My step grandad who was an american WW2 vet had a not safe for work Betty Boop tattoo he regretted into his 70s and did not want people to see.
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### Author:  [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2015, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/6 "2015-08-27T21:47:29Z")
Unless they are mentally ill/delusional most of it is in good fun referring to fictional characters they find attractive.
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### Author:  [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2015, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/7 "2015-08-27T22:18:28Z")
There’s a very broad spectrum, from “just imagining” to “seriously deluded.” I think the artist I mentioned was “mildly deluded.” Not really schizo, just messed up some.
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### Author:  [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2015, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/8 "2015-08-28T03:15:37Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#):
>
> Unless they are mentally ill/delusional most of it is in good fun referring to fictional characters they find attractive.
Unless?
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### Author:  [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2015, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/9 "2015-08-28T11:22:15Z")
I object to the naked assertion that it’s at least a cute joke.
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### Author:  [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)
#### Post date: [September 1, 2015, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/10 "2015-09-01T03:43:09Z")
> [@Trinopus](#):
>
> There’s a very broad spectrum, from “just imagining” to “seriously deluded.” I think the artist I mentioned was “mildly deluded.” Not really schizo, just messed up some.
It’s a singular delusion called erotomania, which is also one of the most common types of one-off delusions in otherwise pretty stable people. Typically falling in love with a cartoon character instead of a real, higher status person is more of a person with an intellectual disability’s type of erotomanic manifestation, but there’s probably no reason a higher functioning person couldn’t too. According to one of my colleagues, who has published several papers on the topic, few people seek treatment for the delusion because they’re happy.
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### Author:  [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)
#### Post date: [September 1, 2015, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/11 "2015-09-01T05:12:24Z")
Meh, mentally ill people are free to contract valid marriages so long as they can freely consent, and only one of the partners state of mind is concerned here. And it might be only our own prejudice that currently says this is mental instability.
_Personally_ I think it a bit off and somewhat creepy in a few cases, but it’s not up to me to restrict people’s — or pillows’ — rights; what happens in other bedrooms, whether 1 person plus props or 50 people mixing it at once, is nobody’s business but their own. And if thse people want to sanctify what they do with marriage, let them. Only haters gonna hate.
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### Author:  [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2015, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/12 "2015-09-02T14:47:42Z")
It’s mostly a joke, kinda like calling someone your Internet crush. It basically means “character I am a big fan of because I find them attractive.”
Some take the game further, and make up stories, but I’m not sure they are truly deluded–just playing a game of “what if.” They just saw a story where their “waifu” did something horrible, and so, in the game, it’s as if she abused him. And what she “said” is more “what the character would say.”
I’m sure there are some people who think it’s real, or who play out a pure fantasy life with the person rather than just playing a game, but I don’t think it’s the most common form. That’s just the form that gets made fun of–exaggeration is funny.
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### Author:  [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2015, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/13 "2015-09-02T15:20:45Z")
> [@BigT](#):
>
> kinda like calling someone your Internet crush.
I’ve always thought of you as my husbando. 🙂 🙂 🙂
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### Author:  [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2015, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/14 "2015-09-02T15:44:38Z")
Rule 36, people.
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### Author:  [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2015, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/15 "2015-09-02T19:58:12Z")
If you really want to go down the rabbit hole google “tulpas.” Basically a new way of saying imaginary friend.
Most of the time you see references to waifus it’s joking. Sometimes it’s a cutesy way for them to say they want to screw someone, other times they really admire the character as wife/husband material based on personality or some moral outlook, especially if they do something particularly brave or loyal. Basically saying they’re a keeper.
If you go to really weird parts of the internet you can see people who take this 100% seriously, including photoshopping images of the characters into real life photos of themselves. Or they go on pretend dates with plushies or dolls. Sometimes you want more than two hands to facepalm with.
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### Author:  [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2015, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/16 "2015-09-02T20:11:02Z")
> [@marshmallow](#):
>
> If you really want to go down the rabbit hole google “tulpas.” Basically a new way of saying imaginary friend.
>
> Most of the time you see references to waifus it’s joking. Sometimes it’s a cutesy way for them to say they want to screw someone, other times they really admire the character as wife/husband material based on personality or some moral outlook, especially if they do something particularly brave or loyal. Basically saying they’re a keeper.
>
> If you go to really weird parts of the internet you can see people who take this 100% seriously, including photoshopping images of the characters into real life photos of themselves. Or they go on pretend dates with plushies or dolls. Sometimes you want more than two hands to facepalm with.
I think tulpa is a preexisting term, I’ve seen it in song lyrics from years back and maybe a horror story?
[Tulpa - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulpa) Yup
Whoa!
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Tulpas](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tulpas)
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### Author:  [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)
#### Post date: [September 4, 2015, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/17 "2015-09-04T23:38:34Z")
> [@grude](#):
>
> I think tulpa is a preexisting term, I’ve seen it in song lyrics from years back and maybe a horror story?
Yeah. It was one of the monsters of the week on the X-Files back in 1999 too.
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### Author:  [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)
#### Post date: [September 5, 2015, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-waifu-and-husbando-thing-more-than-a-cute-joke/729030/18 "2015-09-05T00:08:43Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#):
>
> Unless they are mentally ill/delusional most of it is in good fun referring to fictional characters they find attractive.
> [@Trinopus](#):
>
> There’s a very broad spectrum, from “just imagining” to “seriously deluded.” I think the artist I mentioned was “mildly deluded.” Not really schizo, just messed up some.
Yeah, this.
To extend…
IME, ‘My waifu’ is more likely to be a joke, ‘his waifu’ more likely to be referring to someone the speaker is trying to portray as deluded. Few people use the term seriously as a description of their own ‘waifu’, and few people use it to describe others’ if they don’t think they’re taking it serious.