# Is the word "girl" for an adult female human inherently offensive? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 7, 2019, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362 "2019-01-07T17:24:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2019, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/101 "2019-01-08T23:42:34Z")
Yes, we all know that there are some contexts where an adult man can be called “boy” without offense. And in those same contexts, an adult woman can also be called “girl” without offense. But the point is, there are a lot of other contexts where an adult man would _not_ be called a boy, but an adult woman _would_ be called a girl. As for “Fiji water girl”, if a bottled-water company had hired male models to mingle at a high-society event and pass out water, does anyone seriously contend that they would be referred to as “water boys”? > [@](#): > > Quoth **BigT** : > > Still, I could see someone arguing that all such language ultimately comes from the male infantilizing of attractive women. But, even with that argument, we aren’t there as a society to object, and there’s not really a good replacement. It’s not like “boy” which we can replace with “guy” or “dude.” “Girl” is the informal term for younger women. The parallel fails, because “guy” or “dude” aren’t informal terms for a young man. They’re informal terms for a man of any age. What would you informally call an old woman? Is there any reason you can’t use the same term for a young woman? ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/102 "2019-01-09T00:39:33Z")
So the takeaway is, basically, that while using the word “girl” to describe an adult woman is not necessarily inherently offensive, it does have a high probability of being perceived as offensive and therefore is best avoided unless you are very, very certain you know your audience. Like, y’know, a lot of other words. ---
**Author:** ![HowSoonIsThen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@HowSoonIsThen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HowSoonIsThen)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/103 "2019-01-09T00:47:00Z")
I doubt I have much new to add here, but seeing as I voted (I’m a male human and I say no) I should at least explain my answer I usually say girl, but I mean it as the opposite of “guy” not the opposite of “boy”. I don’t think it’s inherently offensive, but if someone asked me not to call them a girl I’d happily oblige. That’s just common decency. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/104 "2019-01-09T01:45:13Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > As for “Fiji water girl”, if a bottled-water company had hired male models to mingle at a high-society event and pass out water, does anyone seriously contend that they would be referred to as “water boys”? I’m not sure if you’re contending they would or wouldn’t be referred to as “water boys”. Because I think they would. I don’t think they’d be called the “Fiji Water boys”, true, however they might be called “waterboys” because that’s a person, not necessarily a young male, who passes out water. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/105 "2019-01-09T01:48:18Z")
I spent my teens surrounded by handicapped / retarded / mentally deficient people my own age. There is, AFAIK, no term that can be used to refer to an unnamed handicapped / retarded / mentally deficient person that is not inherently offensive. The offense is inherent in the content. That influences my thinking on other examples of attempted thought control by language manipulation: if “girl” is offensive, it’s because the group it refers to is low-status or broken. You can’t fix that by adopting a different word. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/106 "2019-01-09T12:27:02Z")
> [@Akaj](#): > > I’m surprised no one has brought up “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.” These seem to apply with equal facility to anyone you’re dating steadily or living-with-but-not-married-to, be they gay, straight or anywhere in between, and at any age from pre-teen to retirement home. > > Sure, people sometimes insist on “ladyfriend,” “manfriend,” “partner” or (ugh) “significant other,” but give me “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” any day. We are both 60, have lived together for over15 years, and plan to be together until one of us kicks. We’ve used girlfriend/boyfriend but it’s always a bit cringe inducing. Lately we just introduce each other as husband/wife when we meet new people. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/107 "2019-01-09T12:51:52Z")
The late Other Shoe and I were together over 10 years before we even married. I started using “my non-lesbian partner” in some cases (after discovering that referring to “my partner” when he wasn’t around led to certain … assumptions) and it got the point across. There really isn’t any other good term in American English for that relationship. (As an aside, in Polish, the term used translates literally into “my boy” or “my girl” using exactly the same word as used for a prepubescent child of that gender. Confused the hell outta me at first.) ---
**Author:** ![Ashtura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ashtura/32/2963_2.png) [@Ashtura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtura)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/108 "2019-01-09T15:23:50Z")
It’s funny, I was watching the new Ellen Netflix stand-up special, and this topic must have been in the back of my mind, because I notice she referred to herself as a “girl” several times. And she’s 60. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/109 "2019-01-09T19:33:48Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > As for “Fiji water girl”, if a bottled-water company had hired male models to mingle at a high-society event and pass out water, does anyone seriously contend that they would be referred to as “water boys”? Likely not, but I do think that the term ‘water boy’ or ‘water girl’ are discriminatory in a class sense. In that service people are not as fully adult as those that work ‘real’ jobs, so they can be called boy and girl - same concept as the ‘girl at the front desk’ sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![That\_Don\_Guy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/that_don_guy/32/538_2.png) [@That\_Don\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/That_Don_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2019, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/110 "2019-01-09T19:38:53Z")
> [@Chingon](#): > > Well I think it might depend on the context. Exactly - but in the “general” context, I would say yes, just as saying “boy” to an adult male, regardless of race, is inherently offensive. Note that there are some instances where “girl” is part of the nomenclature - for example, on _So You Think You Can Dance?_, they have no problem with calling the female dancers “girls” even though, by rule, all of them are at least 18; I think it’s a “dance thing” of some sort. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2019, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/111 "2019-01-10T00:09:19Z")
I was told (OED) that the word boy was related to the word buoy, from fettered, chained: that the relationship of boy to servant didn’t derive independently from ideas of immaturity. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2019, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/112 "2019-01-10T00:10:22Z")
> [@That\_Don\_Guy](#): > > Exactly - but in the “general” context, I would say yes, just as saying “boy” to an adult male, regardless of race, is inherently offensive. Unless they’re Irish. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2019, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/113 "2019-01-10T06:45:45Z")
Naah, that’s boyo 🙂 I voted “other opinion” - it’s inherently offensive\* if a cis-het man says it\*. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2019, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/114 "2019-01-10T06:49:23Z")
> [@Melbourne](#): > > I was told (OED) that the word boy was related to the word buoy, from fettered, chained: The etymologies of boy and buoy are unrelated. Or there wouldn’t be all those Germanic “boy” cognates. ---
**Author:** ![MrKnowItAll](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrknowitall/32/87_2.png) [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2019, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/115 "2019-01-10T07:16:45Z")
I think the operative word is “inherently”. There’s no such thing as an “inherently” offensive word. Except maybe “pedantic”. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2019, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/116 "2019-01-10T08:10:51Z")
> [@MrKnowItAll](#): > > I think the operative word is “inherently”. There’s no such thing as an “inherently” offensive word. Belgium. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2019, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/117 "2019-01-10T08:15:52Z")
What is the current thinking on “little filly”? ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2019, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/118 "2019-01-10T08:44:17Z")
I am aware that some people might bristle at “girl” is some circumstances, so I do try to reduce my usage, but I hope I wouldn’t be condemned immediately if it did slip out. It is part of the vernacular, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2019, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/119 "2019-01-10T11:31:49Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > The etymologies of boy and buoy are unrelated. Or there wouldn’t be all those Germanic “boy” cognates. My OED is old. Opinion about the etymologies of boy and buoy must have changed. ---
**Author:** ![AllShookDown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d9b06d/32.png) [@AllShookDown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllShookDown)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2019, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362/120 "2019-01-10T18:56:32Z")
It depends. A little kid calling a woman a girl because that’s how they think, no problem. I’m fine with a woman referring to friends as girls. Girls night out and all that. A grown man calling a grown woman a girl? No. I wouldn’t call a grown man a boy, either. A grown woman or man calling a minor female a girl, ok. A grown woman calling a younger adult woman a girl…depends. Certainly not to someone’s face. i.e. I might refer to someone as a girl to an older (like me) woman friend but I wouldn’t call her a girl to her face. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-the-word-girl-for-an-adult-female-human-inherently-offensive/827362.md?page=7)