# Is there a Federal law that every sentence needs maximal snark and hyperbole? (Re: greenslime1951) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 14, 2012, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456 "2012-08-14T10:50:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/21 "2012-08-15T03:30:36Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > I must have. I apologize unreservedly. No need to apologize. Subtlety was my intent. And I don’t disagree with what you posted. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/22 "2012-08-15T03:38:14Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > If you’re very good, and very lucky in your timing, snark can offer you the chance to sneak in a little bomb, smuggle it past the guards, and down to the foundations of wrong, the bedrock basis of error, upon which the towering fortress of horseshit depends. It goes off with the merest little _pop!_, as evidenced by a slightly uncomfortable laugh. And if you could see that foundation, assay that bedrock, give it close inspection, you would find the _tiniest_ little crack… > > Then hast thou done the Lord’s work, good and faithful servant, and may take your rest with deep satisfaction. Not only did you entertain with this little metaphoric journey, not only did you give everyone who read it a mini-adventure for their mind… but you also gave me a purpose in life that should keep me busy for another forty years. (The concept that I might make it to the pearly gates to find the savior and his favorite drinking buddies/archangels/disciples cracking up at what we post here makes my time here all the more worth it.) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/23 "2012-08-15T03:38:57Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > _As I walk through this world, > Nothing can stop > The Douche of URL…_ Indictment pending. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/24 "2012-08-15T03:55:33Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > _As I walk through this world, > Nothing can stop > The Douche of URL…_ How do you post in falsetto? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/25 "2012-08-15T04:23:16Z")
Two toothpicks, nerves of steel. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/26 "2012-08-15T18:31:33Z")
> [@emacknight](#): > > That’s because you are a pretentious hyperbolic sanctimonious asshole, as proved conclusively by the fact that you needed to pit someone for being snarky on a message board that is devoted to snark. Did you accidentally have the SnackPit open in another tab? No biggie, it happens to all of us sometimes. > [@](#): > > No, they don’t. You are, as you said, a pretentious hyperbolic sanctimonious asshole. And even though you admit to it, you still went through the trouble of being an asshole to a stranger on the internet. > > Congrats, got anything else planned for the rest of the day? Obviously you have no plan to use this opportunity for introspection and self discovery, with the hopes that maybe you could try NOT being a pretentious hyperbolic sanctimonious asshole. > > And what a surprise that you’re joined by a choir of other pretentious hyperbolic sanctimonious assholes, all clambering to join you in being an asshole to a stranger on the internet. > > **greenslime1951** is you. Which, by your own logic, means you can’t have a problem with it. Sometimes I wonder how people this stupid ever learned to walk without tripping over their untied shoes. Oh, and extra bonus: This is the Pit, devoted to insulting people. Thus, by your own logic, you can’t complain about what I just said either. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/27 "2012-08-15T18:34:25Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Emacknight makes a valid point. It’s unfair to put the blame for greenslime’s bad posts on his recent joining date when there are other posters just as bad as him who have been posting here for nine years. I have some respect for you, so I suggest you go back and actually read what he actually wrote, and realize it isn’t what you seem to think he said. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/28 "2012-08-16T05:01:03Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > Yup. > > July 2012 join date? Check. > Username with a [right-wing glurge](http://nogreenslime.com/mainpage.html) allusion? Check. > Aversion to backing up his claims? Check. > > Frankly, with the influx of trolls during that period, anyone with a July 2012 join date that wants to be seen as a legitimate member should ask the moderators to delete their account and let them sign up under a new name in August. A humorless troll too, and he must have lived not under a bridge but in a cave for missing the Olympics. 🙂 [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15388968&postcount=18](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15388968&postcount=18) ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/29 "2012-08-16T07:54:34Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > From my observations, greenslime1951 is noncontributive for information or entertainment. I dunno, I think the denizens of these board (myself included, at times) do derive significant entertainment from pig wrassling. There’s that joke the punchline of which is where the bear says “…you’re not here for the hunting, are you?” ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/30 "2012-08-18T20:39:59Z")
Back on the Elections forum greenslime1951 is getting more slimier, even the management is not amused there, and in GD he showed that he has no clue on how mortgages work or the history of the bubble burst and the current recession. I wonder if he will make it to next week. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/31 "2012-08-18T22:11:03Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#): > > Back on the Elections forum greenslime1951 is getting more slimier, even the management is not amused there, and in GD he showed that he has no clue on how mortgages work or the history of the bubble burst and the current recession. I wonder if he will make it to next week. It’s not just current events he’s ignorant of. In a thread about WWII, slime made the claim that the Soviet Union had “[almost no tanks](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15354536&postcount=5)”. ---
**Author:** ![nachtmusick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ac91a4/32.png) [@nachtmusick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nachtmusick)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/32 "2012-08-19T06:30:19Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > It’s not just current events he’s ignorant of. In a thread about WWII, slime made the claim that the Soviet Union had “[almost no tanks](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15354536&postcount=5)”. Not the best example, perhaps. Prior to and during Barbarossa, the Soviets had lots of crap tanks, but very few T-34s and KV-1s that could compete with German armor. Hijack over, carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/33 "2012-08-19T11:52:07Z")
Oh neat! It’s rare to get such a perfect specimen in the wild. I’m talking about the sanctimony loop of course. Dare to criticize anyone for being sanctimonious and you’ll only end up looking like an even bigger sanctimonious twat. Even posting this is dangerous. Better quit while I’m ahead. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/34 "2012-08-19T14:05:12Z")
> [@nachtmusick](#): > > Not the best example, perhaps. Prior to and during Barbarossa, the Soviets had lots of crap tanks, but very few T-34s and KV-1s that could compete with German armor. > > Hijack over, carry on. No, we dug up the figures. The Soviets had a superiority in both quantity and quality at every point during the war. ---
**Author:** ![nachtmusick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ac91a4/32.png) [@nachtmusick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nachtmusick)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/35 "2012-08-21T03:43:20Z")
OK, but meh. During Barbarossa (June, 1941), the most numerous German tank was the Panzer MkIII, while Soviet armor was mostly obsolete T-26s and the crappy BT series. T-34s and KVs accounted for less than 10 percent of the total Soviet armor force. MkIIIs racked up average kill ratios of 6:1 against Soviet armor during Barbarossa. Radios and better leadership account for some of this imbalance, surely, but it also seems true that the Germans enjoyed a pure quality advantage in most Barbarossa armor encounters (according to these figures anyway - I’m basing this on Wiki and some tank sites, not on any in-depth history of Barbarossa). Granted, this doesn’t contradict your point as written, or defend slime’s statement, since the Soviets could still have had more quality tanks theater-wide than the Germans. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/36 "2012-08-21T04:22:19Z")
> [@nachtmusick](#): > > Granted, this doesn’t contradict your point as written, or defend slime’s statement, since the Soviets could still have had more quality tanks theater-wide than the Germans. Oh fer cryin’ out loud. I know nothing about this subject but at least I can read. Slime’s statement was flat wrong. It was a _quantitative_ statement: “almost no tanks”. Unless you are going to seriously attempt to contend that the tanks the USSR had were of so low quality they didn’t actually count as tanks (and frankly even your last post makes it clear that they weren’t that bad) you have no point. Get over it and move on. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/37 "2012-08-21T04:51:15Z")
> [@nachtmusick](#): > > During Barbarossa (June, 1941), the most numerous German tank was the Panzer MkIII, while Soviet armor was mostly obsolete T-26s and the crappy BT series. T-34s and KVs accounted for less than 10 percent of the total Soviet armor force. MkIIIs racked up average kill ratios of 6:1 against Soviet armor during Barbarossa. Radios and better leadership account for some of this imbalance, surely, but it also seems true that the Germans enjoyed a pure quality advantage in most Barbarossa armor encounters (according to these figures anyway - I’m basing this on Wiki and some tank sites, not on any in-depth history of Barbarossa). The problem was that the percentages don’t reflect the real balance of power. The German percentage of MkIII’s in their tank force in 1941 may have been higher than the Soviet percentage of T-34’s. But that’s only a reflection of the overall Soviet superiority in numbers. The Germans had about 1000 MkIII’s in a total force of about 4000 tanks. The Soviets had over 1500 T-34’s in a total force of about 16000 tanks. So while the German tank force was 25% MkIII’s and the Soviet tank force was only 10% T-34’s, there were actually more T-34’s than MkIII’s. And this doesn’t reflect the overall 4:1 superiority in Soviet tank numbers. That said, I don’t think anyone would dispute that the Germans used their tanks a lot better than the Soviets used theirs. But it was certainly never an issue that the Soviets suffered from a lack of tanks. ---
**Author:** ![nachtmusick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ac91a4/32.png) [@nachtmusick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nachtmusick)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456/38 "2012-08-23T02:48:08Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Oh fer cryin’ out loud. I know nothing about this subject but at least I can read. > > Slime’s statement was flat wrong. It was a _quantitative_ statement: “almost no tanks”. Unless you are going to seriously attempt to contend that the tanks the USSR had were of so low quality they didn’t actually count as tanks (and frankly even your last post makes it clear that they weren’t that bad) you have no point. > > Get over it and move on. I wasn’t trying to defend slime’s statement, just clarify my own (i.e., that the Germans generally had a quality advantage in most Barbarossa armor encounters). But since my own research confirms Nemo’s more measured response, I must admit the available facts don’t even support my lesser statement. Objection withdrawn. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-federal-law-that-every-sentence-needs-maximal-snark-and-hyperbole-re-greenslime1951/631456.md?page=1)