Is there a missing Constitutional Amendment?

Factual Questions
21

You’ve every right to be confused. Here’s a thumbnail sketch of the argument that is typically advanced by the lunatic fringe.

  1. Lawyers tack on “esquire” to their name.

  2. Most judges were lawyers before they were judges.

  3. Ergo, most judges used to tack “esquire” onto their name.

  4. “Esquire” is a feudal title of nobility from England.

  5. Anyone who uses the title “esquire” has accepted a title of nobility from a foreign power.

  6. The missing 13th Amendment strips any American who accepts a foreign title of nobility of their American citizenship.

  7. Ergo, all judges and lawyers have forfeited their American citizenship.

  8. Citizenship is a prerequisate to holding the office of judge and lawyer.

  9. Therefore, everyone currently holding themselves out to be judges and lawyers in the U.S. is committing a criminal fraud, slander of office, etc. etc., and finally:

  10. LACKS ANY JURISDICTION TO TOSS MY SORRY ASS IN JAIL, DANGNABBITT!!!

The chain of “logic” breaks down at several points, of course, notably the fact that the “missing” amendment was never in fact ratified. But even if you get over that little hurdle, there’s the point that “esquire” is not really a title, has been assumed by lawyers individually without a patent from the Queen, and so on.

22

Now hold on here. Is it not true that you, the SDMB poster known as Northern Piper, are a lawyer? And is it not also true that you, the SDMB poster known as Northern Piper, are not a citizen of the United States? Well? Well? Just answer the question please!

I rest my case.

23

Quite true. And in fact I’ve sworn allegiance to HM Queen Elizabeth II (God bless her!) on a few occasions. But since I’m not an American, the missing 13th Amendment means nothing to me, so I can be more impartial and objective than an American lawyer accused of “Esquiry”.

[Piper launches into “The Maple Leaf Forever” on his bagpipes.]