# Is there a name for the annoying habit some people have of not answering questions? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 18, 2016, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241 "2016-08-18T23:36:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2016, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/41 "2016-08-19T18:57:43Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > OP: Are you going to the Rotary Club meeting tonight? > Person: No. > > Sometimes leads to: > > OP: No? Just “no?” What kind of an answer is that? Are you going to explain your reasons, or just give me a passive-aggressive “no?” Person: No, dammit. Better? ---
**Author:** ![Marlonius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Marlonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlonius)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2016, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/42 "2016-08-19T19:06:08Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > See, there you go: It only took thirty posts of prose before someone answered the damned question. 😉 Actually, the answer to the original damned question is “yes”. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_great_unwashed/32/4791_2.png) [@The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2016, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/43 "2016-08-19T19:15:38Z")
> [@Marlonius](#): > > Actually, the answer to the original damned question is “yes”. Are you not being a tad too literal? ---
**Author:** ![Marlonius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Marlonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlonius)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2016, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/44 "2016-08-19T19:33:32Z")
> [@The\_Great\_Unwashed](#): > > Are you not being a tad too literal? No. To elaborate: in the context of this thread (especially) my literal answer perfectly demonstrates, reducto absurdum, how simply answering the question is not always good enough, and what a careless asker might think is a yes or no question often is not. Previous posters all guessed or assumed that the OP really meant to ask “What is the name for that annoying habit…” and answered that question instead, thus annoying said OP. I think he should’ve been delighted by my direct answer. Sometimes I ask my wife if she took the garbage out or not. Reason: I want to know if I can take my shoes off and come in the house, or keep them on and go out to the garage, grab the garbage and take it to the alley. I’m literally looking for one syllable. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_great_unwashed/32/4791_2.png) [@The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2016, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/45 "2016-08-19T20:14:51Z")
> [@Marlonius](#): > > No. Fair enough. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2016, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/46 "2016-08-19T20:24:01Z")
Typical patient encounter: Me: How long have you been having these headaches? Patient: Ever since Aunt Evvie died. Me: And when did she die? Patient: That same spring that her son Ralph got his tractor stuck in the marsh. me: And which spring was that? Patient: The year my wife left me. me: Here’s some tylenol. I’m having some also. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2016, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/47 "2016-08-19T20:38:03Z")
To return to the OP’s examples, it seems that the respondents, instead of answering the question, is answering the next expected question. And they are doing it defensively, in ways that involve possible ass-coverage, excuses and conflict avoidance. Exactly what is going on depends, I think, on the power relations between the OP and the specific respondents. > [@](#): > > Me: What time did you wake up this morning? > Person: Well, I didn’t get to bed until late, and then I couldn’t sleep. The stupid alarm didn’t go off and… The expected next question that seems to be answered: “Why the fuck did you get up so late?” > [@](#): > > Me: Are you going to the Rotary Club meeting tonight? > Person: My car has been acting crazy on and off and… Here it’s: “Can I ride with you to the Rotary Club?” Except that it’s actually more explaining, in a conflict-avoiding way, why the answer to that question is “no”. I think the OP should probably look into why people are being defensive, making excuses and/or covering their asses when he is asking them questions. This may have to do with the formal nature of the power dynamic (he can get them in trouble, because he is, say, their boss or parent), or, if the power relationship is more equal, have to do with the specific personalities and/or general behavior of the OP and/or the respondents. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2016, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/48 "2016-08-19T21:12:29Z")
My wife has a different problem: she over-clarifies. “Is your coffee in the microwave?” “You mean the one in the kitchen?” (we only have the one) It’s a habit she has; I choose to find it charming. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2016, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/49 "2016-08-19T21:20:44Z")
**Is there a name for the annoying habit some people have of not answering questions?** I like old fashioned terms and call it hemming & hawwing or being wishy-washy. My wife is more hip and would call the person’s answers “cryptic”. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2016, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/50 "2016-08-19T21:50:01Z")
I don’t see this as evasion or deliberate time wasting. Nothing actually negative in most cases. When I ask someone why they answered a simple question with an unrelated answer, I usually hear something about how they _thought_ I was _really_ asking about … and they were trying to be helpful. I.e., misinterpreting simple questions as an attempt by me to really ask something else. Nope. If I ask what’s for dinner, I’m asking what’s for dinner. I’m not really asking how long until dinner or anything. And the _overwhelming majority_ of people are like this. Not just a few people here or there. (And certainly unrelated to gender.) ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2016, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/51 "2016-08-19T22:02:29Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > When I ask someone why they answered a simple question with an unrelated answer, I usually hear something about how they _thought_ I was _really_ asking about … and they were trying to be helpful. I.e., misinterpreting simple questions as an attempt by me to really ask something else. I agree with **even sven** – I take questions like the OP’s as conversation/small talk starters. I am often asked on Monday what time I got up on Saturday, because folks know I am a champion sleeper and it’s like asking how my weekend was. So the answer may be “Ah, I didn’t get to sleep in because I had to do such and such, but it was fun”. Of course the answer to something like “Are you going to Rotary Club tonight?” is always “Maybe, I’m not sure”, which = “hmm, why are you asking?” If you ask “Did you ever hear back from so-and-so?”, I have to assume you are actually interested in what I heard back. Would you really want me to just say “Yes”? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2016, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/52 "2016-08-19T22:16:26Z")
The other answers are great, but the one about continuing a conversation doesn’t work for me. You can continue the conversation while simultaneously answering the question being asked. For example: “What time did you wake up?” “I got in really late last night, and didn’t sleep well. So around noon.” “Are you going to the Rotary Club tonight?” “Nope. My car’s been acting up.” I also note that the OP asked two questions and most people answered the second. And that giving examples does actually answer the first question. ---
**Author:** ![Marlonius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Marlonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlonius)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2016, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/53 "2016-08-19T22:29:08Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > I don’t see this as evasion or deliberate time wasting. Nothing actually negative in most cases. > > When I ask someone why they answered a simple question with an unrelated answer, I usually hear something about how they _thought_ I was _really_ asking about … and they were trying to be helpful. I.e., misinterpreting simple questions as an attempt by me to really ask something else. > > Nope. If I ask what’s for dinner, I’m asking what’s for dinner. I’m not really asking how long until dinner or anything. > > And the _overwhelming majority_ of people are like this. Not just a few people here or there. (And certainly unrelated to gender.) I’m with you on this one. And very often they guess correctly the intent of the question, as I think most of the posters in this thread did. Except literal me. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2016, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/54 "2016-08-19T23:41:29Z")
Most people _want_ the logorrhea. I’m fairly terse, but I have to pad out single-word answers or they get annoyed. The problem isn’t with people not answering what was asked; it’s with people not asking about what they want. ---
**Author:** ![Hedda\_Rosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hedda_rosa/32/1204_2.png) [@Hedda\_Rosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hedda_Rosa)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2016, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/55 "2016-08-20T00:57:52Z")
> [@Marion\_Wormer](#): > > I started off with what you’re describing as a non-sequitur, but it’s probably derailment. I think it’s called deflection. In the PR world it certainly would be. As a fairly private and non-confrontational person, I’m, guilty of it myself frequently especially when there are questions I don’t want to answer…or even questions that might wander into subject matters I don’t feel like exploring. There is no comfortable and polite way to say “I don’t want to talk about that” and maintain a normal flow of conversation in most cases. Deflection keeps the conversation moving along and off into safer territory. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2016, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/56 "2016-08-20T17:16:22Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > If you ask “Did you ever hear back from so-and-so?”, I have to assume you are actually interested in what I heard back. Would you really want me to just say “Yes”? Of course, if I had wanted more information I would asked for it. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2016, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/57 "2016-08-20T19:05:59Z")
And people who ask you a question that you answer, and they have to go on and on and on with twenty more (I hate answering the phone at work for that reason) Does your store sell baby carriages? No, I’m sorry we don’t. I mean the ones designed for newborns. No, we don’t. For newborn babies No, we don’t. Newborn baby boys. No, we don’t. Are you getting any in? I’m sorry, I don’t know. Who would know? JEFF, pick up the phone. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2016, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/58 "2016-08-20T19:56:46Z")
Nm ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2016, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/59 "2016-08-20T20:27:02Z")
I don’t want to name names. But, anyway. I’ve been thinking about several posts here where people **of course** think the proper thing to do is not just give the answer only but to add some “color commentary”, etc. This reminds me of the old saying: “If you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem.” That is, the above people are who I’m talking about. (In my case, at least. I’m not speaking for the OP or others.) This concept also seems to overlap with the “Polite things that aren’t” thread. I.e., “politely” answering a question by going on and on and talking a long time, if ever, to answer the question or to answer a different question. I’m trying to think of an answer to the OP, naming wise. I’ve considered acronyms but none are remotely pronounceable. (Annie-Xmas’s post reminds me of the opposite issue. Asking a question after it’s already been answered. Like in _Empire Records_. [Employee answering phone.] “Empire Records, open till midnight. … Till midnight.”) ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2016, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241/60 "2016-08-20T20:41:39Z")
I think it depends on the question. “I’m running to the store, do we need more milk?” calls for a straight answer. But the examples in the OP are either so nosey or so incomplete that the responder really has no choice but to assume that the questioner is just trying to make conversation and proceed accordingly. I’d advise the questioner to add a little more context if they really need a straight answer (“I have a book I want to lend you-- will you be at Rotary Club tonight?” or…I actually can’t think of any reasons why you’d legit need to know someone’s sleep habits unless they are an intimate partner). People like to have some clue as to why you are asking them personal stuff. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-name-for-the-annoying-habit-some-people-have-of-not-answering-questions/763241.md?page=4)