# Is there a nice way to tell my husband that his sport jacket is hideous and out of date? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 29, 2013, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106 "2013-11-29T23:38:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/41 "2013-11-30T16:54:06Z")
Personally, I have no fashion sense, and I know it. When someone close to me who does have fashion sense tells me that it’s time to retire an article of clothing, I do so. I don’t take offense at it; I know my limitations. In fact, I’m grateful for the advice. Though, depending on the item and the reason why it’s in need of retirement, I might keep it around for particular purposes: Wearing while painting or other dirty chores, for example, or possibly a costume where an out-of-style look is needed. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/42 "2013-11-30T17:04:08Z")
My husband still wears a sport coat from 1974. It was fine then, very iffy for the 20 middle years, and is now vintage and people expect to see him in it. Pick your battles, I guess. If its horrible (like the banana yellow leisure suit from the 70s my husband had) its got to go. Otherwise, just don’t stand by him. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/43 "2013-11-30T17:09:17Z")
> [@Pai325](#): > > My husband still wears a sport coat from 1974. It was fine then, very iffy for the 20 middle years, and is now vintage and people expect to see him in it. > > Pick your battles, I guess. If its horrible (\*\*like the banana yellow leisure suit from the 70s \*\*my husband had) its got to go. Otherwise, just don’t stand by him. I have some ideas for that which include various colors of Sharpies! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/44 "2013-11-30T17:10:50Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Agreed. But be sure to have a suggestion instead of just a criticism. If he’s like me, he hates, hates, hates shopping for clothes. Volunteer to get him a nice, neutral, fairly conservative jacket that fits him well, and he’ll probably be forever grateful. There are lots of jackets that never go out of style, maybe something like a blue blazer that he can even wear with jeans. Clothes, such as a sport jacket, depend on fit. One doesn’t buy a car or house sight unseen, and actual fit and look matter a lot. She needs to see it on him, possibly get the sleeves adjusted. This requires a book for the gentleman, or nowadays, possibly one of those phones that doubles as a TV. TSS, clotheshorse when wearing a sport jacket or above, slob when less dressed. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/45 "2013-11-30T18:42:08Z")
Yes, have a talk about how you’d like to every now and then see him in something other than that jacket and that you think he could rock a different look. > [@drewtwo99](#): > > My only question is what is “nicer than business casual” but does not mean “wear a suit.” Isn’t business casual a shirt, tie, slacks? So a step up from that would be… a suit, right??? You are a bit behind in the dress-down of society. In _many locations and business cultures_, BC means **NO** necktie; pressed colored shirt _ **or** _ a pullover; sportcoat _optional_, pressed khakis, \*non-\*sneaker/boating shoes. Basically casual but with everything pressed and in sober colors. “Nicer than” becomes blazer mandatory, slacks, buttondown oxford shirt, tie, dressy slip-ons. Non-suit daytime business attire. “Suit” then in that environment is for when there’s a High Curch funeral/wedding, swearing-in ceremony, court appearance, or “oh, damn, we have to go talk financing with some old fudd corporate types from outside our circle”. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/46 "2013-11-30T18:58:11Z")
Thanks. I’ll do my best to be tactful. He is becoming a little more fashion-conscious now that he’s over 40 because he doesn’t want to look like an old fuddy-duddy. Maybe I can work that angle. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/47 "2013-11-30T19:10:44Z")
“Dear, I’ve decided to leave you for a man who has a nicer sports jacket. Could you find yourself a nice apartment down by the river to live in? Oh, and I’ll need your paycheck as alimony. Lastly, could you tell me where I could find a man with a nicer sports jacket, as I haven’t located the fellow yet.” ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/48 "2013-11-30T22:50:57Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > Don’t throw away, destroy, or give away someone else’s stuff without permission. How do people think this is okay? Technically, this is _marital property_, so it legally belongs to both of them jointly. Thus she is legally restricted to throwing away only her half of the jacket. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/49 "2013-11-30T23:06:51Z")
“Sorry, honey, it’s not an Austin Powers theme costume party.” ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/50 "2013-12-02T12:50:13Z")
So while we were looking in the closet and discussing this yesterday, I quietly whispered, “I think the jacket needs to go. You had that when we started dating.” He vehemently denied it. Then I reminded him that he wore it to his grandfather’s funeral in 2003. His only response was, “Oh,” and something along the lines of, “I guess it needs to go if YOU don’t like.” I just said that he usually agrees with my fashion choices, because I buy him stuff he loves all the time. He was a little pouty, but when I suggested he do the shirt/tie/sweater vest combo he seemed OK. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/51 "2013-12-02T13:51:15Z")
> [@Avarie537](#): > > Thanks. I’ll do my best to be tactful. He is becoming a little more fashion-conscious now that he’s over 40 because he doesn’t want to look like an old fuddy-duddy. Maybe I can work that angle. “Fuddy-duddy” is a perfectly valid fashion choice. I tend towards the “ivy-covered professor” look myself, as I have an inordinate fondness for vests and tweed. But, closer to the subject at hand, just tell him. My Wife has never been shy about saying “You’re really going to wear that?” She accepts when I say “Yes” and I just as often say “Well, what do you suggest?” She checks with me as to whether colors complement or clash, as she did not seem to inherit that part of the X chromosome. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/52 "2013-12-02T14:20:21Z")
> [@Avarie537](#): > > So while we were looking in the closet and discussing this yesterday, I quietly whispered, “I think the jacket needs to go. You had that when we started dating.” He vehemently denied it. Then I reminded him that he wore it to his grandfather’s funeral in 2003. His only response was, “Oh,” and something along the lines of, “I guess it needs to go if YOU don’t like.” I just said that he usually agrees with my fashion choices, because I buy him stuff he loves all the time. He was a little pouty, but when I suggested he do the shirt/tie/sweater vest combo he seemed OK. Good–the direct but polite approach worked! I’d suggest you accompany him on a shopping trip or two–he could really use a nice blazer or sportscoat. Some guys (and some women) _really_ hate shopping for clothes… ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/53 "2013-12-02T14:28:08Z")
Nicely handled for a newlywed, I suppose. When I show my lack of fashion sense and my wife decides it’s just too far beyond the pale, she simply gives me “That Look”. Not “THE LOOK”, which is known and feared by all husbands/sons, but “The Look”, which worldlessly conveys the message “Really? You’re going out in public, with me, like that”? I am conditioned to respond verbally with “What? What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” whereupon she tells me. Sometimes I wear it anyway (risking “THE LOOK”), most times I change. Develop “That Look”, it has served well many generations of females and averted hideous fashion disasters. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/54 "2013-12-02T15:00:35Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > But, closer to the subject at hand, just tell him. My Wife has never been shy about saying “You’re really going to wear that?” This is a highly underrated quality in a woman, men should be taught to test for it in the potential bride review process. Few women realize guys usually don’t know when they’ve dressed like a buffoon. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/55 "2013-12-02T15:52:06Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > Technically, this is _marital property_, so it legally belongs to both of them jointly. Thus she is legally restricted to throwing away only her half of the jacket. No, he had it before they were married, so it is not joint property. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/56 "2013-12-02T17:09:15Z")
> [@Avarie537](#): > > Because we have a “nicer than business casual but not nice enough for a suit” dinner coming up in a couple of weeks and he is considering wearing the sport coat that he had when we started dating in 1999. I thought it was ugly back then and it hasn’t aged well. We bought him two suits in 2005 (total waste of money - he wore each one once) and I think he should just wear the one of the jackets with other slacks for a better look. But is there a nice way of saying that the sport coat needs to go? I’m not very tactful on my best of days. Thanks! When he asks you what you want for Christmas, tell him, “I’d really like that jacket of yours, so I can give it to Goodwill.” ETA: Never mind, I see you’ve already managed to resolve the problem. Glad to hear it! ---
**Author:** ![Quintas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@Quintas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quintas)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/57 "2013-12-02T17:50:22Z")
Can you post a picture of the jacket? ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/58 "2013-12-02T22:07:07Z")
On this same subject, I want to give you an example of what I deal with on a daily basis. This is DH’s favorite outfit for “going out”" • shiny dark grey suitcoat (was his father’s suit from 1980’s and he just wears the top half of it since Dad was like 6 inches shorter in height) • dark denim blue baggie jeans • bright cobalt blue button down short sleeved cotton shirt • Big White Nikes with blue and orange stripes and white soles Do YOU see the problem? Ive given up. :rolleyes: I used to comment, “Going to Clown College are we?” but it never elicited the right response. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/59 "2013-12-03T02:36:54Z")
> [@Quintas](#): > > Can you post a picture of the jacket? Sure! I can do it tomorrow when he’s at work. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106/60 "2013-12-03T04:24:23Z")
Go buy him a new one and hang it up next to the old one. When he notices it, say you saw it on special and thought it looked so much nicer and current that that horrible old thing he keeps. If he’s determined to wear the old one, meh, let him wear it. It’s only embarrassing if you actually care what other people think. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-nice-way-to-tell-my-husband-that-his-sport-jacket-is-hideous-and-out-of-date/675106.md?page=2)