# Is there a non-bigoted reason to be anti-same-sex-marriage? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [July 24, 2021, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222 "2021-07-24T20:41:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/384 "2021-07-27T20:36:17Z")
I was sexually assaulted by a gay man. He grabbed my crotch completely out of the blue and called me a homophobe when I knocked his hand away. It didn’t change my opinions about gay rights at all. Of course it didn’t hurt that his buddies read him the riot act immediately. I’ve also had gay men flirt with me which wasn’t upsetting at all, though I did have to explain that it wasn’t going anywhere. Why would I be upset if someone finds me attractive? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/385 "2021-07-27T21:39:43Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > In the Michael Lewis book “The Big Short,” later in the book the Tuohys are helping Michael Oher graduate high school I’m guessing you’re thinking of another famous book of his, but the point’s the thing. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/386 "2021-07-27T22:02:44Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > 1. “It’s too bad you’re going to hell. You should give yourself to Jesus.” This is a very common take, and not particularly interesting. > 2. “It’s too bad you’re going to hell. I cannot understand why a loving God would send a good person to hell.” This is the take of someone experiencing a religious crisis and hopefully leaving their evil-deity-worship behind, and is a lot more interesting to me. > > Folks in the first category don’t get much of a pass from me. I’ll actually give them a pass if they’ll refrain from telling me about it. And, of course, if they’re not telling me about it, I’ve got no idea whether they’re in the first group or the second; even if I happen to know they’re a member of a particular branch of religion that teaches that I’m destined for hell. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/387 "2021-07-27T22:10:35Z")
> [@Kron](#): > > So if anybody has a non-homophobic reason for being anti-SSM, let’s hear it! Ooh! I’ve got one! _A couple enters, A and B, holding hands. They are the same sex. They are greeted by C._ A: We want to get married B: Yes, we are very much in love C: Well, you can’t B: But we want to C: I won’t do it A: But the law says we can C: Don’t care. I’m not going to do it, ever. B: But you can see we’re in love? C: Indeed I can. I’m not going to unite you in marriage. It’s not a thing I will ever allow to happen here. A: That’s not fair! Why not? C: _This is a Launderette._ ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/388 "2021-07-27T22:12:40Z")
Nicely done! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/389 "2021-07-27T22:28:27Z")
Nitpick: you are thinking of The Blind Side. The Big Short was his book on the 2008 financial crisis. End Nitpick. ---
**Author:** ![peccavi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peccavi/32/388_2.png) [@peccavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peccavi)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/390 "2021-07-27T23:59:29Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > Whereas, if one consideres bigotry to include favoring policies and/or behavior that has a negative impact on others because of their membership in a group, animus isn’t necessary. A disregard of that impact will do. That disregard can be due to ignorance; or it can be a willful disregard. This may be a bit tangential to the topic. but I just wanted to say that I will be using this whenever anyone challenges me to define “white privilege” for them. As far as I can tell, it perfectly encapsulates it. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/391 "2021-07-28T00:54:42Z")
Thank you! – but as I understand it, I’ve got white privilege even if I myself am trying not to disregard impact and even if I’m actively trying to fight policies and behavior that has negative impact on others. (While at the same time, I have the reverse of privilege for being female, fat, old, of Jewish heritage, poor, etc.) If what you mean is that it’s part of white privilege to be able to have that disregard about impact on people who aren’t white: I think you’re right about that. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/392 "2021-07-28T01:33:53Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Nitpick: you are thinking of The Blind Side. The Big Short was his book on the 2008 financial crisis. End Nitpick. Yes of course. Similar titles. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2021, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/393 "2021-07-31T21:07:51Z")
My apologies if this has already been covered, I skimmed the thread and didn’t see it, but easily could have missed it. I have seen at least one extremely ignorant argument against SSM that I feel is not bigoted. Just phenomenally stupid. I remember at least one person arguing that the government has an obligation to encourage hetero marriage so the human race doesn’t die out. I hope I don’t need to explain why this is dumb as fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2021, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/394 "2021-07-31T21:09:42Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > I hope I don’t need to explain why this is dumb as fuck. You really must not have read through this thread if you retain that hope! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2021, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/395 "2021-08-01T17:19:27Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > I remember at least one person arguing that the government has an obligation to encourage hetero marriage so the human race doesn’t die out. “Gay people represent an existential threat to humanity,” sounds a little bit homophobic to me. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2021, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/396 "2021-08-01T18:08:23Z")
Sounds like something you might say if you were secretly attracted only to your own sex, forced yourself to procreate anyway, and assumed everyone else was like you. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2021, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/397 "2021-08-01T18:30:41Z")
Or they’re someone who has a stereotype of gays as exclusively pleasure seeking hedonists who have no interest in starting families. It’s hard to really interrogate third hand opinions like this, but in my experience, when given the opportunity to engage, I’ve never yet found an opposition to SSM that wasn’t fundamentally rooted in an assumption that gay people are in some way less worthy than straight people. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2021, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/398 "2021-08-01T19:10:00Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Sounds like something you might say if you were secretly attracted only to your own sex, forced yourself to procreate anyway, and assumed everyone else was like you. > [@Miller](#): > > Or they’re someone who has a stereotype of gays as exclusively pleasure seeking hedonists who have no interest in starting families. At best. One opinion, and I use the term loosely, is that teh gay is a side-effect of genetic defects, so god made them attracted to each other so they couldn’t pass the defects along. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2021, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/399 "2021-08-01T19:23:00Z")
> [@GreysonCarlisle](#): > > One opinion, and I use the term loosely, is that teh gay is a side-effect of genetic defects, so god made them attracted to each other so they couldn’t pass the defects along. That reads to me more like the reverse of the OP question: it’s a bigoted reason to be in favor of same sex marriage. ETA: no, I’m not ascribing that opinion to @GreysonCarlisle, who does not appear to me to be claiming it. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2021, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/400 "2021-08-01T19:57:32Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > > [@GreysonCarlisle](#): > > > > One opinion, and I use the term loosely, is that teh gay is a side-effect of genetic defects, so god made them attracted to each other so they couldn’t pass the defects along. > > That reads to me more like the reverse of the OP question: it’s a bigoted reason to be in favor of same sex marriage. Yeah, I was just responding to the two posts I quoted. Was an aside and probably off-topic for the thread. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2021, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/401 "2021-08-01T21:12:47Z")
> [@GreysonCarlisle](#): > > Was an aside and probably off-topic for the thread. I didn’t mean to grumble about it, sorry – I just thought it was kind of an interesting inversion. > [@puzzlegal](#): > > Sounds like something you might say if you were secretly attracted only to your own sex, forced yourself to procreate anyway, and assumed everyone else was like you. That reminds me of something I read some years ago; can’t unfortunately recall either the person who was saying this or where I read it, but I’m pretty sure it was a preacher or somebody otherwise prominent in some small church group. He was against allowing gay relationships because, he said, if those were allowed there wouldn’t be enough children born, because of course men would prefer to have their relationships be with other men if that became considered normal. I remember thinking that I had no idea how he was actually behaving, but I was pretty sure of what his orientation was. And he really did seem to be assuming that all men felt that way. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2021, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/402 "2021-08-01T21:27:29Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > I remember thinking that I had no idea how he was actually behaving, but I was pretty sure of what his orientation was. And he really did seem to be assuming that all men felt that way. I remember that, too, and thinking at the time that he was revealing a ton more than he thought he was. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2021, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222/403 "2021-08-01T23:23:13Z")
We interrupt this broadcast … Two of my favorite cousins – let’s just call them Susan and Sandra – gave birth yesterday to a healthy 6lb 15oz male child that one of his mothers carried full term. The baby couldn’t be more beautiful. Same for his moms, despite one of them having spent 31hrs in labor. And I couldn’t be more proud. My cousins obviously didn’t get the memo about homosexuality being the death knell that portends the extinction of the species. If I can remember, I’ll raise the issue with them when I meet the baby on an upcoming Zoom call. As you were … [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-non-bigoted-reason-to-be-anti-same-sex-marriage/947222.md?page=21)