# Is there a polite way to say "You Got The Stink-Ass?" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 30, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-polite-way-to-say-you-got-the-stink-ass/342239 "2006-01-30T18:36:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-polite-way-to-say-you-got-the-stink-ass/342239/41 "2006-01-31T16:49:11Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > On the whole, I think it would be easier to just allow the friendship to wither than to try to tell her she has the aroma of shit about her without also hurting her feelings. You might look into vinyl slipcovers for your upholstered furniture in the meantime. I can’t help it…I kept reading your statement as _“On the hole…”_ ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-polite-way-to-say-you-got-the-stink-ass/342239/42 "2006-01-31T17:47:52Z")
I think anonymous is absolutely NOT the way to go. I would be mortified if I thought everyone I’d ever met thought I stank. I’d much rather hear it from a friend. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-polite-way-to-say-you-got-the-stink-ass/342239/43 "2006-01-31T17:59:35Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Um…how do you send an anonymous email? I think the US Postal Service will be your best bet. And maybe buy her one of those butt sticks as pictured in the link above. Check post #12. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-polite-way-to-say-you-got-the-stink-ass/342239/44 "2006-01-31T18:27:00Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > Check post #12. Cool. Thanks! (jots that down in “for future reference” file) ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-polite-way-to-say-you-got-the-stink-ass/342239/45 "2006-01-31T18:29:51Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > Check post #12. I’m getting a message that the service won’t be back up until July 2006. Anyone else? ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-polite-way-to-say-you-got-the-stink-ass/342239/46 "2006-01-31T18:40:00Z")
I would say to come out and be straightforward and honest with her. However, be prepared not to see her again. The act of telling her that she possesses a less than complimentary aroma is likely to cause her to avoid you in severe embarrassment. At one time, I worked with a less than hygenic population. Although they may have taken showers and washed their hair (and done the deodorant and toothpaste route), they frequently wouldn’t wash their jackets/coats/shoes, which would absolutely reek in a disgusting odor. Maybe not only is she unable to properly clean herself, but also is wearing clothing that stinks as well. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-polite-way-to-say-you-got-the-stink-ass/342239/47 "2006-01-31T18:48:27Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m getting a message that the service won’t be back up until July 2006. Anyone else? Just create an anonymous hotmail account or something. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-polite-way-to-say-you-got-the-stink-ass/342239/48 "2006-01-31T18:53:57Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > There’s an entire industry devoted to people who are so fat that they can’t wipe their own ass!? I weep for our future. Stuff like that is also for helping people with mobility problems from other causes, like severe arthritis, injury-limited range of motion, etc. ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-polite-way-to-say-you-got-the-stink-ass/342239/49 "2006-01-31T18:59:25Z")
> [@phall0106](#): > > At one time, I worked with a less than hygenic population. Although they may have taken showers and washed their hair (and done the deodorant and toothpaste route), they frequently wouldn’t wash their jackets/coats/shoes, which would absolutely reek in a disgusting odor. Maybe not only is she unable to properly clean herself, but also is wearing clothing that stinks as well. Did it have anything to do with your location, maybe? 😃 ::runs:: ---
**Author:** ![pestie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e5b9ba/32.png) [@pestie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pestie)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-polite-way-to-say-you-got-the-stink-ass/342239/50 "2006-01-31T20:23:03Z")
I know a woman who is severely obese and who has a chronic problem with some type of fungus growing in the folds of her fat. I’ve never noticed it, but apparently at times it can smell very bad, and it’s apparently not easy to kill this fungus permanently. Maybe this is the cause of your friend’s ass-stench. ---
**Author:** ![tesseract](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@tesseract](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tesseract)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-polite-way-to-say-you-got-the-stink-ass/342239/51 "2006-02-07T06:11:01Z")
> [@FilmGeek](#): > > I think anonymous is absolutely NOT the way to go. I would be mortified if I thought everyone I’d ever met thought I stank. I’d much rather hear it from a friend. The flaw that I see in this position is that once she finds out she stinks, she is going to realize that it is quite possible that everyone she ever meets DOES thinks she stinks. This possibility will not diminish just because a friend has broken the news to her. It will diminish relationship hopes though. If she gets an anonymous note, the only thing that potentially “everyone” could have done is be the one to kindly tell her. Obviously many people are just smelling her and not doing anything about it. It is a KINDNESS to tell her. It is not easy and it is not fun for her or you; but I recommend you do tell her and that you do so without her knowing it is you. Also, regardless of whose advice you take, can you tell us how this all turns out? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-polite-way-to-say-you-got-the-stink-ass/342239.md?page=2)