# Is there a problem with being an online dating addict?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [November 11, 2017, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267 "2017-11-11T00:53:58Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 19\
**Page:** 13

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**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/241 "2017-11-14T03:55:02Z")

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I think a lot of you are really reading way more into this than you really ought to.

Here’s what I see: A guy who was in a very long relationship without much dating experience beforehand. He’s pretty turned off by the idea of a long term relationship, but still likes female companionship and sex. So he dates online somewhat compulsively.

But the crux of the matter is that he doesn’t really have a goal in mind; he’s not sifting the wheat from the chaff for a long term relationship or marriage, and nor is he really just going through some sort of man-whore phase either. Instead, he’s kind of aimlessly going through some sort of Frankensteinian hybrid of the two that doesn’t really satisfy either goal, and doesn’t really make him happy either.

I think he needs to make his mind up- does he want a long-term relationship? He says no, then why even worry about anything personality wise that will matter past a handful of dates? If yes, then quit worrying about stuff that’s superficial. You can’t have it both ways.

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**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/242 "2017-11-14T04:12:18Z")

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> [@bump](#):
>
> I think a lot of you are really reading way more into this than you really ought to.
> 
> Here’s what I see: A guy who was in a very long relationship without much dating experience beforehand. He’s pretty turned off by the idea of a long term relationship, but still likes female companionship and sex. So he dates online somewhat compulsively.
> 
> But the crux of the matter is that he doesn’t really have a goal in mind; he’s not sifting the wheat from the chaff for a long term relationship or marriage, and nor is he really just going through some sort of man-whore phase either. Instead, he’s kind of aimlessly going through some sort of Frankensteinian hybrid of the two that doesn’t really satisfy either goal, and doesn’t really make him happy either.
> 
> I think he needs to make his mind up- does he want a long-term relationship? He says no, then why even worry about anything personality wise that will matter past a handful of dates? If yes, then quit worrying about stuff that’s superficial. You can’t have it both ways.

My objection is because this is the fourth thread I remember where he coldly, calculatingly objectifies and devalues women as if they’re cuts of meat, in the guise of asking for “advice”. He never learns. He just keeps posting the same shit. The “prank” story isn’t new, either. If he felt bad about it he wouldn’t bring it up multiple times. It looks like I’m not the only one who’s disgusted and sick of all of it.

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**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/243 "2017-11-14T04:12:26Z")

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> [@bump](#):
>
> I think a lot of you are really reading way more into this than you really ought to.
> 
> Here’s what I see: A guy who was in a very long relationship without much dating experience beforehand. He’s pretty turned off by the idea of a long term relationship, but still likes female companionship and sex. So he dates online somewhat compulsively.
> 
> But the crux of the matter is that he doesn’t really have a goal in mind; he’s not sifting the wheat from the chaff for a long term relationship or marriage, and nor is he really just going through some sort of man-whore phase either. Instead, he’s kind of aimlessly going through some sort of Frankensteinian hybrid of the two that doesn’t really satisfy either goal, and doesn’t really make him happy either.
> 
> I think he needs to make his mind up- does he want a long-term relationship? He says no, then why even worry about anything personality wise that will matter past a handful of dates? If yes, then quit worrying about stuff that’s superficial. You can’t have it both ways.

Thank you **bump**. I think you are the most spot on as usual. I am still trying to figure it out. The options are endless and that can be paralyzing. I am not that great but I am financially stable and know how to play the game. I am waiting on the Long Island Girl to get back from her grandfather’s burial in Florida. We are an excellent personality match and I think I am going to try to make that one work because I think it could. We are a natural match and those are very rare for me. A natural match is when you don’t even have to think about what you are doing when you are together. You already know and it works seamlessly.

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**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/244 "2017-11-14T04:44:59Z")

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> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> Oh, I have thought about things like that. I have a shovel. What people aren’t realizing is that I am sorry that I ever did that but I can’t change the past and never expected it to work the way it did. It was teenage stupidity rather than predatory behavior that some people like to assume. I am just as confused about it as anyone and never meant to cause any harm. I thought it was a prank that would end before it ever got started.

What would you do to that innocent poor boy who was forced into making out with your daughter? I mean, isn’t he the victim in that situation?

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**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/245 "2017-11-14T04:47:06Z")

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> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> I also don’t even know what state it was in. That may sound odd but I grew up in a border area where you can’t tell where the Louisiana and Texas border are on rural roads and it was on one of those.

Sheesh I’ve heard of moving the goalposts, but…😉

> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> The story took on a life of its own…

Hey I’ll go with that.

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/246 "2017-11-14T04:56:33Z")

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> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> Can you justify all your actions when you were a teenager? I don’t know anyone that can. I am certain I am not a child molester and/or serial killer either. These accusations get very dumb, extremely quickly. I already said I was sorry. All I want these days is a date to be nice to me. The pile-on in this thread has been incredible. Who know that we had so many Jesus disciples here?

The worst thing I ever did as a teenager was when I was about 12 or 13, and me and some friends wrote a really nasty letter to another friend we were fighting with. It was your garden variety middle school catty bullshit, and we made up a few months later, but it was still a really cruel thing to do, and if I could go back in time and change things, I would.

I don’t think that compares to sexual assault. And yes, KISSING CAN BE ASSAULT. You said there was “petting” involved, you said your friend and her were in the middle of a love-making session, you swapped out, etc. But now it’s “just kissing”. But “lucky for YOU”, she was on her period, so it didn’t go any farther. Lucky for YOU. Why YOU? Why not lucky for HER? You described YOURSELF as the victim. Because you were underage (hardly, and not in this case, by the way!).

I don’t think you’re genuinely remorseful, at least not in the sense that you realize exactly what you did. You’re still making excuses. You still seem more upset about people giving you grief about it, you’ve told the story several times, in a very casual way, like it was just an amusing prank, and you keep whining that “women are really weird about rape.”

And yes, you HAVE been here for awhile – people are judging you by your history here. And guess what: it doesn’t speak well for you. You attitude towards women, your outlook on life, your views on morality, ethics – all of it paints a very disturbing image.

But as Dennis Miller would say, “Of course that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.”

And nobody said you were a child molestor or a serial killer, just that child molestors and serial killers also can be professionals and love their kids, so neither are signs of being a good person.

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**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/247 "2017-11-14T05:15:37Z")

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> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> I am waiting on the Long Island Girl to get back from her grandfather’s burial in Florida.

What happened to the older-than-35 woman who conveniently popped up at the end of your last [del]bragging[/del] round where you couldn’t stand older women?

I must say it’s so fortunate that the right solution always does come along on Page 5 or 6 of these threads. That must clear up any misconception that people have of you.

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**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/248 "2017-11-14T05:16:11Z")

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> [@raventhief](#):
>
> What would you do to that innocent poor boy who was forced into making out with your daughter? I mean, isn’t he the victim in that situation?

Maybe. My daughters have been known to be quite the drama queens themselves. I had to deal with a gymnast cat fight this week that involved parents. Anyone that thinks that girls aren’t aggressive have never had them. They are absolutely brutal to each other especially in competitive gymnastics. They make Mean Girls look like a light comedy but they usually get over it in a couple of days. I have had to do physical restraining on a few occasions however because they will hurt someone when they don’t like a particular outcome like lower than normal scores at a gymnastics meet. That isn’t going to happen again unless they have a grounding fetish but it has happened more than once and it is embarrassing.

As to the innocent poor boy, I would have to hear the full story. I always have to be on their side in general but it is completely plausible that they aren’t telling the whole story. I am on their side in general but I also know that they will use selective facts to my face. I believe there is a huge difference between things like true adult felonies and simple teenage mistakes. I would be willing to hear his side of what happened if it ever did. If he fails though, I still have the shovel.

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**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/249 "2017-11-14T05:23:00Z")

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> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> Maybe. My daughters have been known to be quite the drama queens themselves. I had to deal with a gymnast cat fight this week that involved parents. Anyone that thinks that girls aren’t aggressive have never had them. They are absolutely brutal to each other especially in competitive gymnastics. They make Mean Girls look like a light comedy but they usually get over it in a couple of days. I have had to do physical restraining on a few occasions however because they will hurt someone when they don’t like a particular outcome like lower than normal scores at a gymnastics meet. That isn’t going to happen again unless they have a grounding fetish but it has happened more than once and it is embarrassing.
> 
> As to the innocent poor boy, I would have to hear the full story. I always have to be on their side in general but it is completely plausible that they aren’t telling the whole story. I am on their side in general but I also know that they will use selective facts to my face. I believe there is a huge difference between things like true adult felonies and simple teenage mistakes. I would be willing to hear his side of what happened if it ever did. If he fails though, I still have the shovel.

You know his side. you have told it multiple times. Her side is " some people told me it happened and i didn’t believe it! But then ShagsClone called it kissing between friends and that he was the real victim and i never wanted to kiss him!i wanted to have a lovemaking session with my actual boyfriend!"

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/250 "2017-11-14T05:40:50Z")

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> [@raventhief](#):
>
> You know his side. you have told it multiple times. Her side is " some people told me it happened and i didn’t believe it! But then ShagsClone called it kissing between friends and that he was the real victim and i never wanted to kiss him!i wanted to have a lovemaking session with my actual boyfriend!"

Again, I was 17 years old and her boyfriend was the one that came up with idea. I was friends with her independently and still am. I have no idea what the motivation was. Most boyfriends do not want their girlfriends to kiss someone else while they are listening but he did for some reason that I may never know. The whole thing shouldn’t have worked. I have no idea if the real prank was on me or I just got the benefit of the doubt. You wouldn’t think that you could switch places with someone and have it work for very long but it happened. Never again. That is way too much stress for kisses that I never wanted in the first place. I just thought we were going to play a simple joke that never went anywhere but I was wrong.

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**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/251 "2017-11-14T05:45:22Z")

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> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> Again, I was 17 years old and her boyfriend was the one that came up with idea. I was friends with her independently and still am. I have no idea what the motivation was. Most boyfriends do not want their girlfriends to kiss someone else while they are listening but he did for some reason that I may never know. The whole thing shouldn’t have worked. I have no idea if the real prank was on me or I just got the benefit of the doubt. You wouldn’t think that you could switch places with someone and have it work for very long but it happened. Never again. That is way too much stress for kisses that I never wanted in the first place. I just thought we were going to play a simple joke that never went anywhere but I was wrong.

Again. How would you react if that was done to your daughter?

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/252 "2017-11-14T05:58:01Z")

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> [@raventhief](#):
>
> Again. How would you react if that was done to your daughter?

There is the concept of relationship relativity. That means that your girlfriend, daughters, coworkers, bosses and lots of others are completely separate relationships. If someone did that to my daughters, we are going to have some serious problems but I would have to see who did what.

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**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/253 "2017-11-14T06:11:34Z")

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> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> There is the concept of relationship relativity. That means that your girlfriend, daughters, coworkers, bosses and lots of others are completely separate relationships. If someone did that to my daughters, we are going to have some serious problems but I would have to see who did what.

You know what ShagsClone did. You know what Boyfriend did. You don’t know, perhaps, if Daughter was in on it, but i gave you at least her reaction.

If you can realize that it would be wrong if done to your daughter, why can’t you see it that it was wrong then? You keep implying that maybe YOU’RE the victim, or that no harm was done, it was just innocent kissing between friends, etc. It’s a serious problem if someone makes out by deception with your daughter, but it was the perfect joke for someone else’s daughter.

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**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/254 "2017-11-14T06:24:27Z")

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I do have to give you marks for consistency. Once people got on you, the light petting has disappeared completely from your account and heavy kissing has been downgraded into simply kissing.

Are / were you:

A. Lying in previous posts. No petting ever occurred, but you wanted to make the story better.

B. Lying now. You did engage in heavy kissing and light petting.

C. Lying both then and now. The story never occurred.

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**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/255 "2017-11-14T10:42:57Z")

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> [@TokyoBayer](#):
>
> I do have to give you marks for consistency. Once people got on you, the light petting has disappeared completely from your account and heavy kissing has been downgraded into simply kissing.

Don’t forget the partial nudity that’s conveniently fallen by the wayside as well.

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**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/256 "2017-11-14T10:52:10Z")

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It think it is reasonable to suppose that if Shagnasty had the opportunity to use fraud to sexually assault another 17 year old today, he would not do it again, as he did as the ostensibly protesting young Lothario, so there’s that.

_**Don Quixote, Chapter XXXIII  
by Miguel Cervantes (1612)**_

> [@](#):
>
> “It is very true,” answered Anselmo, “and with that confidence I let thee to understand, friend Lothario, that the desire which vexeth me is a longing to know whether my wife Camilla be as good and perfect as I do account her, and I cannot wholly rest satisfied of this truth, but by making trial of her, in such sort as it may give manifest argument of the degree of her goodness, as the fire doth show the value of gold . . . .
> 
> I desire that my wife Camilla do also pass through the pikes of those proofs and difficulties, and purify and refine herself in the fire of being requested, solicited, and pursued, and that by one whose worths and valour may deserve acceptance in her opinion . . . .
> 
> . . . I would have thyself, dear friend Lothario, to provide thee to be the instrument that shall labour this work of my liking, and I will give thee opportunity enough to perform the same, without omitting anything that may further thee in the solicitation of an honest, noble, wary, retired, and passionless woman.
> 
> . . . And therefore if thou desirest that I may lead a life deserving that name, thou must forthwith provide thyself to enter into this amorous conflict, and that not languishing or slothfully, but with that courage and diligence which my desire expecteth, and the confidence I have in our amity assureth me.”
> 
> ‘These were the reasons used by Anselmo to Lothario, to all which he was so attentive, as, until he ended, he did not once unfold his lips to speak a word save those which we have above related; and seeing that he spoke no more, after he had beheld him a good while, as a thing that he had never before, and did therefore strike him into admiration and amazement, he said, “Friend Anselmo, I cannot persuade myself that the words you have spoken be other than jests, for, had I thought that thou wert in earnest, I would not have suffered thee to pass on so far, and by lending thee no ear would have excused this tedious oration.

Unfortunately, Shagnasty’s disregard for and hostility toward women remains today, and is severely impinging his hopes of fulfillment, such that he has become the older Lothario.

**_The Fair Penitent. A Tragedy._  
By Nicholas Rowe, Esq. (1791)**

> [@](#):
>
> **LOTHARIO:**  
> I snatch’d the glorious golden opportunity,  
> And with prevailing, youthful ardor press’d her,  
> 'Till with short sighs, and murmuring reluctance,  
> The yielding fair one gave me perfect happiness.  
> Ev’n all the live-long night we pass’d in bliss,  
> In ecstacies too fierce to last for ever;  
> At length the morn and cold indifference came;  
> When, fully sated with the luscious banquet,  
> I hastily took leave, and left the nymph  
> To think on what was past, and sigh alone.
> 
> **ROSSANO:** You saw her soon again?
> 
> **LOTHARIO:** Too soon I saw her:  
> For, Oh! that meeting was not like the former:  
> I found my heart no more beat high with transport,  
> No more I sigh’d, and languished for enjoyment;  
> 'Twas past, and reason took her turn to reign,  
> While every weakness fell before her throne.

It did not end well for Lothario, but Shagnasty is not a character in a play or a book. He has the ability to create his own plot if he choses.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/257 "2017-11-14T13:16:30Z")

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> [@TruCelt](#):
>
> Then what you want is one of those “Seeking Sugar Daddy” sites. You clearly are not in the market for an actual relationship…

I’m going to have to disagree with this. Women who do the ‘sugar baby’ lifestyle like money and gifts. They don’t like being referred to as “welfare queens” and “chubbys” and they _definitely_ don’t like having sexual things (including kissing) done to them without their consent. Any more than any other woman would.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/258 "2017-11-14T13:20:58Z")

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> [@bobkitty](#):
>
> I know how you can get the answer to this question. After all, you’re still close to the woman you assaulted. Ring her up (or send her a link to one of the multiple times you posted the story) and ask her. “Hey, remember that time in high school when I took my shirt off, hid in a closet while you and your boyfriend made out, then changed places with him, got on top of you, engaged in petting and making out for 20 minutes, groaned when you talked so you didn’t know it was me, probably would’ve gone further if you weren’t on your period, then switched places again? And all our friends laughed about it later? Did that upset you at all, or was I the actual victim?”
> 
> Please do report back what she says.

Even if she laughs about it / doesn’t care, it’s really still sexual assault (for which you’re apparently stil within the SOL in Louisiana). And, **Shagnasty** mind you, I’m as far from ‘liberal’, ‘PC’ or ‘SJW’ as they come. This is a clear cut instance of sexual assault, I…e touching someone without their explicit/clear consent (unless somehow she knew who you were all along and was playing along with it, I guess, but I doubt it).

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**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/259 "2017-11-14T13:38:16Z")

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**Moderator Note**

> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#):
>
> Apropos of nothing, Louisiana does not have a Statute of Limitations for forcible rape, and for all other sexual offenses it’s 30 years unless there’s a DNA match - that starts a 3 year clock ticking.  
> Huh.

This is, at best, an attempt to go further off the rails from the topic in the OP, and you’ve already received a warning in this regard. Take it to the Pit.  
**Moderator Warning**

> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> There was no forcible rape involved and it is batshit insane to even imply such a thing. It was just kissing when I was a teenager. That is it. I also don’t even know what state it was in. That may sound odd but I grew up in a border area where you can’t tell where the Louisiana and Texas border are on rural roads and it was on one of those. I have no idea why so many women are fascinated by rape still read books like 50 Shades of Grey and then get outraged that two friends kissed each other decades ago.

You’re receiving a warning for the (edited) threat. I don’t perceive the preceding comment the way you do, but even if that had been the threat you take it to be, your response to it was well-beyond anything acceptable.  
**Thread Closed**  
Finally, since there seems to be no hope (and very little effort) to keep this thread on its original topic, and after discussion among the moderation, this thread is being closed.

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