# Is there a problem with being an online dating addict? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 11, 2017, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267 "2017-11-11T00:53:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/141 "2017-11-13T01:58:42Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Only because she was on her period. Not because, you know, it was wrong and you stopped it before it could go any further. Lucky for you. It was lucky for me. I was a virgin at the time and was just trying to get out of the situation. For those of you that are trying to paint me as some kind of sexual predator, you couldn’t be more wrong. That isn’t something I would ever do. I simply don’t think that way and don’t like being put on the defensive. How many kids have you molested this week? My user name is an inside joke and I am a dedicated father of two girls. I would be the person most likely to pull you out of a car wreck. Please be sweet. The main reason I want to go out with lots of pretty women is just because I want to spend time with them and kiss them. There isn’t much more to it than that. I already have daughters and I am not a “bro” so their job is just to fulfill the feminine role and provide conversation with maybe a kiss at the end. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/142 "2017-11-13T02:08:08Z")
Please just keep reading post #140 until it sinks in. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/143 "2017-11-13T02:20:08Z")
Then why keep telling it to everyone if you’re so ashamed of it? You didn’t SOUND ashamed – you sounded amused. And perhaps people would take your claims seriously if you didn’t keep posting threads like this one. Or [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=831412). Or this [one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=817202). And [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=827741) you outright admit that you don’t really give a shit about any but yourself and your kids. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/144 "2017-11-13T02:22:14Z")
> [@expectopatronum](#): > > It’s scandalous because you’re so proud of it that you’ve posted the story in detail at least four times on this board and you have not once expressed any regret. Even now you don’t express any, you just blow it off as a teenage prank. You are a terrible person. Really? I was 17 years old at the time. I am 44 now, I kissed a friend that still likes me a lot. I didn’t come up with the plan and didn’t expect it to work. I was the underage one. Remind me again who is the victim? I may be a terrible person but it isn’t because of that, ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/145 "2017-11-13T02:31:50Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Remind me again who is the victim? That is absolutely vile. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/146 "2017-11-13T02:40:47Z")
Ew! Just ew. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/147 "2017-11-13T02:50:09Z")
Nm ---
**Author:** ![stolatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@stolatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolatt)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/148 "2017-11-13T03:00:29Z")
No matter how much it gets broken down, it was a slimey thing to do. I doubt your friend trusts you enough to tell you what it felt like being a young lady and having your sex life being trotted out as a joke to everyone. I cringe to think of how she must have felt. ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/149 "2017-11-13T03:15:06Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Really? I was 17 years old at the time. I am 44 now, I kissed a friend that still likes me a lot. I didn’t come up with the plan and didn’t expect it to work. I was the underage one. > > Remind me again who is the victim? > > I may be a terrible person but it isn’t because of that, Sure, I’ll remind you. The victim is the girl who you assaulted. Any other questions, you misogynistic prick? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/150 "2017-11-13T03:36:39Z")
> [@expectopatronum](#): > > Sure, I’ll remind you. The victim is the girl who you assaulted. Any other questions, you misogynistic prick? Can’t you understand that teenagers don’t have any sense? I thought I was just playing a simple prank until it got a lot more serious. I have no idea why that story draws so much emotion. It was just kissing a friend in the dark. We are still friends to this day. Nobody was hurt by it. It was just an embarrassing prank. For all I know, she may have been the one that caused it. I don’t understand the outrage. There is no victim. Even if there was, how badly can you be hurt by getting kissed? ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/151 "2017-11-13T03:52:57Z")
You described it as a “sick joke” when you [told](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8207227&postcount=2) the [story](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7256450&postcount=12) in the first couple links I provided upthread. You also say there was heavy kissing and light petting involved. Why the discrepancies between the story then and the one now? It couldn’t possibly be because you’re trying to backpedal because up until now, telling that story on the boards hasn’t had any kind of consequence? It’s also interesting to note that in those two links, which come from separate threads, you tell the story verbatim, which seems to indicate that you’re so proud of this story that you searched for an old thread where you told it before, or you have the story saved as a word document. Either way, ew. You seem to have this delusion that because no intercourse occurred, what you did was not a violation. Because it’s not about the kissing. Maybe she wasn’t physically harmed, but you violated her by touching her body in a sexual way without her consent, whether it was by making out or light petting or however you want to characterize it. She did not consent getting into bed with you and doing those things. You assaulted her. And you don’t get that. You are a scary person. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/152 "2017-11-13T04:10:08Z")
I would say he’s bored and trolling, but ran across some of his posts on a zombie from '07 a couple days ago. Unless he was also bored and trolling then… ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/153 "2017-11-13T04:26:22Z")
[#140](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20598148&postcount=140) ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/154 "2017-11-13T04:34:17Z")
> [@expectopatronum](#): > > You described it as a “sick joke” > when you [told](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8207227&postcount=2) the [story](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7256450&postcount=12) in the first couple links I provided upthread. You also say there was heavy kissing and light petting involved. Why the discrepancies between the story then and the one now? It couldn’t possibly be because you’re trying to backpedal because up until now, telling that story on the boards hasn’t had any kind of consequence? It’s also interesting to note that in those two links, which come from separate threads, you tell the story verbatim, which seems to indicate that you’re so proud of this story that you searched for an old thread where you told it before, or you have the story saved as a word document. Either way, ew. > > You seem to have this delusion that because no intercourse occurred, what you did was not a violation. Because it’s not about the kissing. Maybe she wasn’t physically harmed, but you violated her by touching her body in a sexual way without her consent, whether it was by making out or light petting or however you want to characterize it. She did not consent getting into bed with you and doing those things. You assaulted her. And you don’t get that. You are a scary person. Let me repeat again, I was 17 years old and the underage one. I did not come up with the idea. I still have no idea why it happened and didn’t expect it to ever work. She may have been in on it too. It was terrifying to me and certainly not pleasurable. You are making a one-sided argument. I was the underage person in question and didn’t initiate anything. It was all her and I and was trying to figure out the entire time how to get of it. Again, I was a teenager and we are still friends. These sexual assault allegations have gotten out of control. Save your PC fury for the real ones. ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/155 "2017-11-13T04:38:58Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Unless he was also bored and trolling then… I’m starting to think _we_ are the victims here. There’s just no way this guy is real. No way. It…it can’t be. It just can’t. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/156 "2017-11-13T04:51:33Z")
> [@DooWahDiddy](#): > > I’m starting to think _we_ are the victims here. There’s just no way this guy is real. No way. It…it can’t be. It just can’t. The problem is everything I say is true. It is just a lot of it is unfortunate. It turns out that there are a bunch of assholes on this board that like to keep branding people for mundane stories that happened a quarter of a century ago just to fulfill their own prejudices. Open the gates. They will do it every single time. I can take it. The fact that I kissed a high school friend has been a national issue for years. Let’s see how far it can go. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/157 "2017-11-13T04:54:45Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Let me repeat again, I was 17 years old and the underage one. I did not come up with the idea. I still have no idea why it happened and didn’t expect it to ever work. She may have been in on it too. It was terrifying to me and certainly not pleasurable. You are making a one-sided argument. I was the underage person in question and didn’t initiate anything. It was all her and I and was trying to figure out the entire time how to get of it. Again, I was a teenager and we are still friends. These sexual assault allegations have gotten out of control. Save your PC fury for the real ones. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s _especially_ repulsed by the way **Shagnasty** is trying to throw the young woman he sexually assaulted under the bus here. ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/158 "2017-11-13T04:57:11Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > It turns out that there are a bunch of assholes on this board that like to keep branding people for mundane stories that happened a quarter of a century ago just to fulfill their own prejudices. But why have you told the story no less than four times on here, then? If you told it once and never mentioned it again out of regret I could understand it, but you’re blaming people for linking you to that story, _because you keep telling it_. ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/159 "2017-11-13T04:58:45Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Let me repeat again, I was 17 years old and the underage one. I did not come up with the idea. I still have no idea why it happened and didn’t expect it to ever work. She may have been in on it too. It was terrifying to me and certainly not pleasurable. You are making a one-sided argument. I was the underage person in question and didn’t initiate anything. It was all her and I and was trying to figure out the entire time how to get of it. Again, I was a teenager and we are still friends. These sexual assault allegations have gotten out of control. Save your PC fury for the real ones. If it was a terrifying, unpleasant experience, why have you told it in detail so many times, at least twice verbatim, which means you put a little work into telling and then re-telling the story? You won’t answer, you’ll just repeat the same arguments about how you’re the real victim. Yeah, sexual assault allegations sure are inconvenient when they pop up, eh? edit: Lamia - no, you’re not. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2017, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267/160 "2017-11-13T05:00:30Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > You make a lot of really good points but this is the one I will dispute. It is really hard to go from a female-male friend relationship into a romantic one. It certainly happens but it takes time that I don’t have. I am a fast mover. > > I already have plenty of very serious female friends as well as two daughters that are the most important people to me in the world. It is really hard for me to place a potential girlfriend. Let’s face facts, the whole role is to screw, be pretty and responsible. I don’t need anything else. Otherwise, she is just a drain on resources. I can be as sweet as they come but I am not running a charity. I have an ex-wife (with an emphasis on the ex) that is an executive vice-president for a large company. That type of thing isn’t attractive to me. The money is good but they make poor partners. Then what you want is one of those “Seeking Sugar Daddy” sites. You clearly are not in the market for an actual relationship. Frankly, I’m appalled by some of the things you have said here - and that thread someone linked where you describe what you think is a “prank”? Yeah, that was rape. By your own admission, she never consented to having sex with you. Your friend conspired to let you rape his girlfriend. Is she still dating this guy? If so, she needs to know what he is. If you really care about your daughters, take a printout from that post, and this thread, and set it before a highly qualified therapist. You are going to need a great deal of guidance if you want to be a positive influence in their lives. I wish I could be enraged by all this, but I’m just too disappointed right now. This is not at all the person I thought you were. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-problem-with-being-an-online-dating-addict/801267.md?page=9)