# Is there a sort of "nerdy misogyny"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 31, 2009, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-sort-of-nerdy-misogyny/515810 "2009-10-31T03:23:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-sort-of-nerdy-misogyny/515810/81 "2009-11-04T16:42:19Z")
> [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](#): > > I may call myself a nerd, but I definitely don’t think this describes me. > > ETA: okay, I concede “opinionated”. I don’t like to define myself or others using labels. I’m not 15 years old and real life isn’t like a John Hughes movie. What makes someone a “nerd” for that matter? I might be considered a nerd because I have an intellectual job and I’m not a fat, stupid guy who sits around watching sports that he hasn’t played since high school. I don’t call that being a nerd, I call that not being a dumbass. Television would have you believe that everyone who does not fall into the top 1% of attractiveness and fashionability are “nerds”. Of course television is also designed to make you feel you are missing something in your life so you will try to fill it with consumer products. ---
**Author:** ![lazybratsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ba8739/32.png) [@lazybratsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazybratsche)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-sort-of-nerdy-misogyny/515810/82 "2009-11-04T16:58:01Z")
I guess I’ll toss my two cents in. Personally, I wouldn’t call most of what you’re talking about misogyny (in most cases at least), but there’s definitely a a huge streak of sexism in nerd culture. To quote Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash (and establish my own nerd credentials), referring to male programmers’ reactions to a female hacker: > [@](#): > > It was, of course, nothing more than sexism, the especially virulent type espoused by male techies who sincerely believe that they are too smart to be sexists And, an obligatory [xkcd](http://xkcd.com/322/) link. ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-sort-of-nerdy-misogyny/515810/83 "2009-11-04T17:19:12Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I don’t like to define myself or others using labels. I’m not 15 years old and real life isn’t like a John Hughes movie. What makes someone a “nerd” for that matter? I might be considered a nerd because I have an intellectual job and I’m not a fat, stupid guy who sits around watching sports that he hasn’t played since high school. I don’t call that being a nerd, I call that not being a dumbass. Television would have you believe that everyone who does not fall into the top 1% of attractiveness and fashionability are “nerds”. Of course television is also designed to make you feel you are missing something in your life so you will try to fill it with consumer products. It’s good to see you have “grown up” a bit since when I joined, because I remember you pretty much being the “t” word calling everybody on the board a nerd and reprimanding them for it. Many of us aren’t what you would call nerds, despite our professions or our proclivity for visiting this board. As for being a misogynist I can’t really say as I’m not the shy little nerd the OP seems to think is the standard. I’m a bit anti-social when it comes to people outside of my little circle of friends, and I’m very cynical and probably opinionated, but my IQ isn’t high and I don’t think I know it all either. I’m 32 and just recently started playing video games (meh, something to do when I’m not job hunting), and I don’t play roleplaying games (though I did give a couple of the online MMORPG type games a try). That said, the typical sports-bar going, sports fanatic type of guy is equally misogynistic, if not more. Many nerds have some sort of (maybe outdated) romantic notions, where often the jock types think women are there to serve them. Much more women hating than any nerds view of women that I know of. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-sort-of-nerdy-misogyny/515810/84 "2009-11-04T23:04:33Z")
> [@Cesario](#): > > Self-esteem issues. When the majority of a person’s experience with good looking people involves being abused and ridiculed, they develop a perfectly reasonable expectation that any such interaction is heading in that direction. From that prospective, it makes perfect sense that any seeming common ground must be being feigned in order to open him up for some new torment. Sounds like “self-esteem issues” of the overinflated variety. I’m pretty sure that the beautiful women of the world have better things to do than make Search and Destroy raids on gaming and comic book stores. And since this kind of thing has happened to women I know who were quite average looking, I’m certain the hostile reception they’ve received from some geek guys was not due to their intimidating beauty. ---
**Author:** ![Cesario](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Cesario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cesario)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-sort-of-nerdy-misogyny/515810/85 "2009-11-05T01:09:36Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Sounds like “self-esteem issues” of the overinflated variety. I’m pretty sure that the beautiful women of the world have better things to do than make Search and Destroy raids on gaming and comic book stores. People have been known to go out of their way to pull meanspirited pranks before. Consider the kind of people that such a broken individual must have been interacting with before this point. Your steriotypical nerd doesn’t explore much outside his social circle or actively attempt to expand it. As such, the only interaction they’re going to have had with the “beautiful people” are when said “beautiful people” intrude into that circle, which, at least during the earliest, formative times, will consist mainly of complete assholes doing it for sadistic kicks. > [@Lamia](#): > > And since this kind of thing has happened to women I know who were quite average looking, I’m certain the hostile reception they’ve received from some geek guys was not due to their intimidating beauty. You’d be surprised how much standards of beauty can vary. When your position on the social heirarchy (established during adolescent years) is low enough that “average looking” is still in the category of “way out of your league”, you group them together. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-sort-of-nerdy-misogyny/515810/86 "2009-11-05T01:27:02Z")
**Cesario** , that’s a nice theory and all, but I really do not believe that women in gaming or comic book shops get treated like idiots because these poor beaten-down geeks think the women are engaged in some sinister plot. When I’ve experienced, observed, or heard about these situations, the guy’s attitude has always been basically “Girls aren’t smart enough to understand this kind of thing, and if they act interested it’s just an act to impress some other guy.” I suspect these guys are the same ones who complain that there aren’t enough “hot girls” who share their interests. ---
**Author:** ![Cesario](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Cesario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cesario)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-sort-of-nerdy-misogyny/515810/87 "2009-11-05T02:14:47Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > **Cesario** , that’s a nice theory and all, but I really do not believe that women in gaming or comic book shops get treated like idiots because these poor beaten-down geeks think the women are engaged in some sinister plot. When I’ve experienced, observed, or heard about these situations, the guy’s attitude has always been basically “Girls aren’t smart enough to understand this kind of thing, and if they act interested it’s just an act to impress some other guy.” > > I suspect these guys are the same ones who complain that there aren’t enough “hot girls” who share their interests. Eh, maybe I’m just naturally predisposed towards seeing things as sinister plots. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-sort-of-nerdy-misogyny/515810.md?page=4)