# Is There a "Standard" Turd? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 31, 2012, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244 "2012-08-31T11:50:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/41 "2012-08-31T23:41:48Z")
the name for a standard turd unit is a Hankey. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/42 "2012-08-31T23:53:26Z")
> [@Fubaya](#): > > In the old days before robots, was there a human turdwrangler that handled this job? [Yes. Exact job description.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool) Occupier assumes a position of high rank. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/43 "2012-08-31T23:54:43Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > the name for a standard turd unit is a Hankey. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/44 "2012-09-01T01:58:12Z")
> [@SpoilerVirgin](#): > > For medical purposes there is the [Bristol stool scale](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_stool_scale), “with 3 and 4 being the ideal stools especially the latter.” The Wikipedia article includes a convenient picture chart. Isn’t anyone else going to comment on this? That chart is wonderful. > [@mlees](#): > > We don’t 'cotton to no Metric stuff 'round here… we’ll stick with the American Long Ton, thank you very much. As opposed to the “metric shitload.” ---
**Author:** ![Chief\_Pedant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Chief\_Pedant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chief_Pedant)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/45 "2012-09-01T04:25:58Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Isn’t anyone else going to comment on this? That chart is wonderful. What can you say, other than we should all aspire to #4 when we #2? When I was in Medical School I heard a lecture by Denis Burkitt, who told us we needed to be on higher fibre diets, and we needed to be passing “large, soft stools” so often that we would have to have stool breaks instead of pee breaks. That would be yer #4, smooth and silky and soft. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/46 "2012-09-01T06:00:09Z")
From _Consumer Reports_ Feb, 2012 tests of toilets: > [@](#): > > to simulate a bathroom’s worst nightmare, we made do with a measured mix of baby wipes, sponges (weighted with screws), plastic balls, and tubes . ---
**Author:** ![Chief\_Pedant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Chief\_Pedant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chief_Pedant)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/47 "2012-09-01T10:03:09Z")
That would make a nice bezoar but not a very realistic stool… ---
**Author:** ![Teacake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Teacake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teacake)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/48 "2012-09-01T11:38:24Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > Phew, I feel better about my golf ball / cookie dough diet. > > I was concerned, you see. But it too will pass. A little late, but I just wanted you to know that I laughed. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/49 "2012-09-01T16:16:56Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > If you’re in Europe, it would be the [EFSMI](http://www.efsmi.org/). I believe they are the de facto worldwide certification body as IIRC there was a guy out here in Colorado that had his certified by them. Ah, [the Couric](http://web.archive.org/web/20110702021345/http://www.efsmi.org/). ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/50 "2012-09-01T21:27:45Z")
> [@Chief\_Pedant](#): > > That would make a nice bezoar but not a very realistic stool… Haven’t seen that word in a while. Nice. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/51 "2012-09-01T22:13:02Z")
N/m - ninjaed. ---
**Author:** ![Cillasi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@Cillasi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cillasi)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/52 "2012-09-01T23:02:55Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > When regulatory/certification organizations like CSA, TUV, BSA, etc. evaluate flush toilets, do they use a “standardized” turd to test these appliances? I wonder if there is sch a thing as a CE description of such an object (defining the mass, size, consistency, etc.). After all, it must be possible to objectively test toilest; to do so must mean that you have to test them under the same conditions-hence the “standard turd”. > Just like the chickens they fire at airliner cockpit windows!🆒 Actually, they do test the toilets with manufactured “turd.” A few years back I looked up a study on the best toilets because I was remodeling my bathroom and came across a comparative study and it included the test and even showed the substance they used to test it. I don’t remember much about it now, and I no longer have the site, but I think it was something fairly official because I was looking up regulations, etc. Found part of it: [http://www.cwwa.ca/pdf\_files/Toilet%20Certification%20Media%20Report1.pdf](http://www.cwwa.ca/pdf_files/Toilet%20Certification%20Media%20Report1.pdf) ---
**Author:** ![Cillasi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@Cillasi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cillasi)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/53 "2012-09-01T23:11:01Z")
> [@Cillasi](#): > > Actually, they do test the toilets with manufactured “turd.” A few years back I looked up a study on the best toilets because I was remodeling my bathroom and came across a comparative study and it included the test and even showed the substance they used to test it. I don’t remember much about it now, and I no longer have the site, but I think it was something fairly official because I was looking up regulations, etc. > > Found part of it: [http://www.cwwa.ca/pdf\_files/Toilet%20Certification%20Media%20Report1.pdf](http://www.cwwa.ca/pdf_files/Toilet%20Certification%20Media%20Report1.pdf) More “poop” This is part of the study I originally used. [http://www.map-testing.com/info/menu/map-testing-protocol.html](http://www.map-testing.com/info/menu/map-testing-protocol.html) ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/54 "2012-09-02T02:49:50Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Isn’t anyone else going to comment on this? That chart is wonderful. I’ve been buying [these](http://www.cafepress.com/+bristol_stool_chart_mug,279937698) as gifts for friends. One for myself too, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/55 "2012-09-02T06:32:45Z")
Based on the above, if you poop 2.2 lbs, plus some more for toilet paper, and it flushes away, you have an “excellent” toilet. Make sure to ask your guests if there is any chance they might surpass that, and for safety deny them use of your toilet. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/56 "2012-09-02T06:57:56Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Isn’t anyone else going to comment on this? That chart is wonderful. > [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I’ve been buying [these](http://www.cafepress.com/+bristol_stool_chart_mug,279937698) as gifts for friends. One for myself too, of course. Okay, I’ll admit it. Googling The Chart led me to the mugs, and I couldn’t resist getting a couple for selected myself and one other person. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/57 "2012-09-02T10:24:04Z")
> [@Chief\_Pedant](#): > > What can you say, other than we should all aspire to #4 when we #2? Dunno about you, but I think you can’t beat a number 2 number 2 - one wipe and you’re off! ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/58 "2012-09-02T11:07:42Z")
Mmmmmmmm…standard turd. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/59 "2012-09-02T18:51:25Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > …and I couldn’t resist getting a couple for selected myself and one other person. Me talk pretty one day. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244/60 "2012-09-02T18:52:41Z")
> [@Jaledin](#): > > Mmmmmmmm…standard turd. Try the deluxe some time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-standard-turd/633244.md?page=4)